Not another freekin fairytale
by ImNotCallingYouALiar
Summary: His lips were inches from mine, a small crooked smile lighting up his usually angry eyes. What an arrogant ass. Swinging my hand back i punched him in the face. Hard. The line between love and hate had never been so thin. A Paul/OC story. T for safety.
1. Avoidance techniques and annoying apes

Leaning against the wall I embraced the chilling wind as my dress flapped uselessly around me. It was almost too quiet for my liking, a stark contrast to the blaring horns and drunken cursing I often heard outside my bedroom window in Seattle. Forcing back my tears I raised my cigarette to my lips again, my hand shaking.

"Did you have enough all that happiness crap too?"

The voice startled me causing my heart to stutter momentarily in my chest. Not turning around I took another drag of my cigarette knowing it would be one of the many clones that were almost positively on steroids who hung around with my sister's baboon of a husband. Even after the countless years I wondered what the hell my sister had gotten herself into?

"Obviously," I rolled my eyes as I flicked some ash on the ground, "which was why I walked far, far away to be _alone_. But I've figured out that's near impossible in La freekin Push. As you have just kindly demonstrated."

"Ooh touchy. Someone obviously forgot to take their medication this morning," his voice was low and it sent shivers down my spine. Scowling I lifted the cigarette deliberately slow to my lips as I ignored him.

"Smoking kills you know," his voice was closer to me, I could feel his warm breath on my bare skin but I still refused to turn around. I had learned throughout my approximately five hours in La Push that nobody in the surrounding area had any self preservation or any idea of physical space.

"So does drinking alcohol, bungee jumping and hitching lifts from strangers yet people still decide to do all of that," I shrugged, "and besides I only smoke when I'm emotionally challenged."

"Emotionally challenged?" the stranger's voice was coloured with amusement as he spoke, "is that what their calling bitchiness these days?"

"Last I heard they were blaming that on hormones," I rolled my eyes as spits of rain began to fall around me, "but I don't need an excuse today."

"And why's that?" His low voice betrayed his curiosity and I found myself shuffling closer to him. Throwing my cigarette to the ground I stamped it out with the heel of my shoe as I slumped further down the wall.

"I wouldn't want to offend you," I smirked tucking a loose strand of hair behind my hair still not looking at him.

"Believe me," I swallowed loudly as he placed his extremely warm hand on my arm, "I don't get offended easily." His outright sleaziness triggered my gag reflex and I bit down hard on my bottom lip as I edged away from him.

"Well your obviously friends with that gorilla of a groom since your also abnormally warm and have tried to hit on me within five minutes of meeting me as with all his other single, sleazy friends," I curled my hands into fists letting my black painted nails dig into the palm of my hand. I wanted nothing more than kick of my heels and walk home even it took me a whole week.

"Who the hell do you think you are talking-"

"I'm the blushing brides little sister," I scoffed, "and I don't know why she's settling for this crap, she could do so much better. And it sure as hell wasn't a bear that did that to my sisters face, she would never wander into the woods alone so that leaves only one prime subject," I spat watching from my vantage point as the waves crashed repeatedly off the cliffs. All the thoughts I had been accumulating in my brain seemed to verbally spill from my mouth. None of them had any idea what losing her meant to me, how much I needed her. They had stolen the one thing I ever cared about away from me and now I had nothing. Life sucked and then you died alone, I was beginning to be the prime example of that statement.

"You don't know anything," the strangers voice shook a little as he spoke and I found myself edging backwards, "how the hell did your parents produce Emily and then you?" I coughed out a bitter laugh.

"The likelihood is that our mother had an affair, but no one would ever admit to that. My father's probably behind bars. Emily was always the golden child, not too girly and not too bitchy." Digging into my bag I let out a muffled curse as I discovered the empty cigarette packet. The rain continued to fall heavily around us as my fingers twitched.

"Sam's not a bad man."

"Doesn't mean I have to like him though. Does it?" I muttered as I slipped out of my shoes, "now if you'll excuse me I would quite like to go get trashed right about now-"

"Wait," the voice growled. I didn't have time to react as he spun me round, I hissed through my teeth as he clutched onto my forearm tightly. I liked my personal space, why was that so hard for people to understand?

"I'll scream," I spat trying unsuccessfully not to admire the way the white shirt he wore stretched impressively over his imposing muscles. He was hot, and not just in the literal sense. My tongue darted out to lick my drying lips.

"Sam's not a bad man," he repeated almost like some sort of mantra. He really was a loyal friend, I could give him that much. Or maybe they were gay? That would sure be a valid argument to get Em to leave him, I stored that thought at the back of my mind for a later date. I was not below blackmail.

"I'm sure he's not," I laced my voice with sarcasm, "but considering he ditched my cousin for my sister, and then Em moved away to stay with him and cook like a maid… I mean bloody hell she couldn't even make anything in the microwave before she met him and now she's freekin Mary Popppins. And I haven't seen her in months," snapping my head up I glared into his eyes, "Months! She's supposed to be my big sister."

Glaring up at him I noticed his mouth was open slightly as if it's hinge had broken and his eyes were staring at me with so much intensity I thought I might drown in them. Another shiver ran down my spine as he continued to look at me. Anger engulfed his features but almost in the same second it became adoration. It was like someone had flipped a switch. My head thumped. I felt exposed under his intense gaze, like everything I had ever known had been stripped from around me. Unexpectedly my heart skipped a beat and I could feel my hands begin to sweat.

"Look whatever your name is.." I began.

"Paul," he sounded almost drunk although he had been fine only seconds earlier, "my names Paul." He took a small step towards me with his hand outstretched almost as if he ached to touch me. I scrunched my nose up in distaste. Who the hell did he think he was? I did not get involved with assholes, especially assholes who happened to be friends with my sister's dog of a husband.

"Well it was nice meeting you Paul," I smirked, "but now I'm going to raid the alcohol and get on everyone else's nerves because you are freaking me out right about now. So bye."

Before he had the chance to react I swirled around in my bare feet and followed the sound of voices. But I couldn't get Paul's bewildered expression out of my head. La Push was seriously messed up, and it was playing with my mind. I needed to get the hell out of La Push. Only twenty four hours and counting to go, surely I could last that long? Or I might have to commit murder. I have to admit the second thought was the most appealing. Skirting around the edge of the party I grabbed a cold beer from the keg and prepared to drown my sorrows. A deep cough interrupted me.

Shit.

_Thoughts? Should I continue?_

_Lets be honest this is the worst possible time for me to start another story considering I haven't updated my other ones in a while, which I promise to do soon but my exams are looming and I just had to write this story down so I could get it of my chest and concentrate on my schoolwork instead of daydreaming. Let me know what you think and whether I should continue this story during my study breaks, but don't worry exams are only a month away after which I will have a lot of free time to write. _


	2. Confrontations and personal space

_Before he had the chance to react I swirled around in my bare feet and followed the sound of voices. But I couldn't get Paul's bewildered expression out of my head. La Push was seriously messed up, and it was playing with my mind. I needed to get the hell out of La Push. Only twenty four hours and counting to go, surely I could last that long? Or I might have to commit murder. I have to admit the second thought was the most appealing. Skirting around the edge of the party I grabbed a cold beer from the keg and prepared to drown my sorrows. A deep cough interrupted me._

_Shit._

"What the hell do you want Quil?" I snapped raising the beer bottle to my lips, "shouldn't you be following my niece around like a creep, or have you decided to lay low in case someone realises how perverted you really are?"

Quil flinched as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and proceeded to lean against a nearby wall. Laughter swallowed the surrounding air and I watched from afar as one of Sam's many giant friends twirled a laughing Emily around the dance floor. I took another swig of my beer as my heart clenched tightly in my chest.

"Claire is dancing with you brother in law actually," Quil smirked at me while I choked. I had met Quil a whole of seven times before the wedding, I could not deny the strange adoration he had for my niece Claire but he infuriated me so damn much and seemed to thrive on winding me up. He had picked the wrong day to piss me off.

"That man," I snarled, "is _not_ my brother in law."

"Did you miss the ceremony?" Quil rolled his eyes, "or did you fall asleep during the part where your sister said 'I do?" Narrowing my eyes at him I flipped him off as I took another drink of my beer.

"Just because he is her husband just now doesn't mean he is going to be in a few short months," I retorted frowning as I noticed I had drunk all of the beer already, Quil swatted my hand away as I reached for another one.

"What?" Quil was speaking to me yet looking off into the distance, following his eyes I watched as Claire stood on Sam's shoes and her eyes sparkled with amusement at something he said, she looked so carefree and happy. Once upon a time I had been like that, to be ignorant of the world around you is such a beautiful thing. Too bad we eventually all have to grow up and face reality. At the back of my mind I reminded myself that I would have to begin operation get Claire to hate Sam so I wasn't the only bitchy one around. Shaking my head I growled lowly at Quil as he once again blocked my path to the keg.

"Well if you haven't noticed Mr I have muscles and am extremely warm so I can push girls around….forty one percent of marriages end in divorce which highlights that love is a trolley load of crap."

"Love isn't crap," Quil replied seemingly without thinking as his eyes stayed fixated on Claire, "maybe the problem is there are too many people like you in the world."

Grinning triumphantly I finally managed to grab another beer from the keg while Quil wasn't watching, but my grin quickly faded as his words registered in my brain.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I burped returning to my place against the wall. My mum caught my eyes across the garden, lines of old age seemed to weigh down her once happy face and I watched her knuckles turn white as she clutched a wine glass in her hand. I should have been used to her disappointment in me but every time I saw it in her eyes it still seemed to shock me. I took another swig of my beer.

"It means," Quil's lips curled downwards as he spotted the beer in my hand, "that maybe the problem is that if you don't believe in love it will never work. But your sister and Sam believe, that is why they are so happy, that is why their love will last for-"

"Seriously!" I put up my hand to cut him off mid ramble, "are you trying to trigger my gag reflexes? I may vomit all over your strangely clean suit if you keep talking."

"Sometimes I wonder how you and Emily came from the same parents," Quil smiled sadly at me as if he was also disappointed in me. My cheeks flushed as I remembered Paul speaking the exact same words not even a hour earlier. Shivering I curled my arms tightly around my stomach as I remembered the comforting warmth of his skin as he had brushed up against me.

Biting at my lower lip I tried to get rid of the thoughts consuming me. He was a creep. A lousy good for nothing creep…that made my heart beat erratically and looked at me as if I was the only person in the world. I cursed inwardly as I bit down on my lip even harder. Ducking my head I tried to shade the glassy tears forming in my eyes from Quil's prying gaze.

"Hey," Quil's voice was softer than before, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine," my head snapped up so I could glare at him but I got distracted by the large figure moving rapidly towards us. Oh crap. Scrambling to my feet I smoothed my dress down as I gazed around for any sign of an escape. A strange fiery sensation engulfed my body and I knew he was getting closer.

"Anna," his voice was raised above the surrounding music and talk, "Anna!"

Shit, he had found out my name. I watched as he advanced closer still, his whole body shaking slightly as if he was having some sort of fit.

"You know Paul?" Quil's voice was coloured with confusion and he raised his eyebrows as he spoke. Sidling closer to his side I took an extra long gulp of my beer, embracing the burning feeling it created in my throat.

"If you mean the sleazebag charging this very way," I snapped twirling a loose curl of my hair around my finger, "then yes. He was hitting on me less than forty minutes ago, obviously the guy cant take a hint."

Quil laughed lowly, his whole frame doubling over as if he had never found anything so amusing in his life. Spotting an untouched bottle of wine on one of the tables I began to make my escape but Paul grabbed onto my arm before I could move. Hissing in pain I backed away from him and into the nearby table. His eyes were dark with an emotion I couldn't read and he stood too close to me our chests almost touching.

"Why did you run away?" he murmured reaching up to caress my face. Snarling I brought my knee up and kicked him in between the legs. Quil's head snapped up as Paul howled in pain. I smirked.

"I don't like people invading my personal space," I spoke bitterly as the people around us leant forward with curiosity, I fought the urge to flip them all off. Even doubled over in pain Paul's eyes remained fixated on my face. Quil looked between Paul and I in confusion before an expression of horror painted itself on his face.

"Oh no," he hissed, "_you didn't_. Did you?"

Paul's head snapped towards him as if just registering his presence.

"I cant control it," he wheezed obviously still in pain. Anger consumed me as they continued to speak to one another as if I didn't even exist. A cold wind stroked my exposed skin as Paul's eyes once again flickered to me as if drinking in every curve, every flaw in my body. I gritted my teeth together to stop a spew of insults from flying out of my mouth.

"Em is going to go mental," Quil whistled lowly. Following his gaze I noticed a frowning Emily once again back in Sam's arms her eyes seemingly watching my every move. I was probably ruining her wedding but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Just dance with me?" Paul's voice sent a shiver down my spine and I found myself stumbling backwards a step. Damn. It was if he had some strange hold over me. My body wanted nothing more than to mould itself to him and never let go but I forced myself to stay put. Stupid, out of control hormones.

"I don't dance," I said truthfully, letting my rejection lay heavily upon my words. Paul actually looked wounded for someone who was bound to only want a hook up. Quil looked tense his eyes flitting nervously around the garden as if expecting a fight.

"Aren't you a ballerina?" he asked confused. My heart slammed into my chest and I tried to remember how to breath, tried to remember the techniques that bimbo of a therapist had taught me. Quil's eyes looked down at me in pity. I didn't need his pity. I didn't need anyone's pity. I wasn't a bloody ballerina.

"No," I growled, "now stay the hell out of my way or I will kick you where it hurts. _Again_."

"Anna-" Paul began almost desperately. Stalking past him I ignored his pleas as my dress flapped around me in the wind. Grabbing the bottle of wine and a few more beers from the keg I walked away my heart still frozen in my chest.

_Thoughts?_

_Thank you all so much for your reviews last chapter and for every who has put this story on story alert. I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. Let me know what you think of Anna? _

_Until next time x_

_I promise to try and make the next chapter longer :)_


	3. Coffee and Brady

_Thanks you all so much for your reviews, they are what keep me writing __J_

Staring into my coffee absent mindedly was becoming a regular occurrence. Holding my head in my hands I held back a groan trying to ignore the dull ache consuming my whole body. Wincing I glanced down at my mud splattered dress and the thin red scar running up the side of my leg from the various plants in the woods. I should have not have drunk that bottle of wine. And those beers. And that other thing that tasted sort of tangy. I felt sick.

Without conscious thought my eyes flickered around the diner. A girl my age sat in one of the nearby booths peering up into the eyes of an older boy, my heart unexpectedly clenched in my chest. Normally I laughed at that kind of love, the naive girl thinking she was the boy's whole world but instead I felt myself feeling drawn to their simplicity, their innocence. It shocked me to realise that I wanted what they had.

Cursing under my breath my eyes moved to an older man, a drunk, his fingers drummed aimlessly on the table and his eyes moved to meet mine- he reminded me of a snake that was ready to strike. Turning my eyes back to the table I grabbed the mug of coffee in my hands desperate for some warmth. The sensation of Paul's hand on my arm kept flashing in my mind.

I didn't understand my new fascination with Paul. The burning hate I felt for him churned in my stomach like a virus, but then there was another feeling. His hypnotizing eyes as they had drunk in my body, his dazed smile as he had gazed at me for the first time. Digging my fingernails into my hand I embraced the familiar pain. A sharp cough made me jump, coffee sloshed over the side of my mug and onto my hand.

"Crap," I muttered wiping my hands frantically on my dress.

"Hun, are you alright?" a frantic voice sounded to my left. Painting a glare on my face I turned around but before a stream of curses could leave my mouth my face softened, the words dying in my throat. An older woman stood in front of me, her wrinkled face was softened by a guilty smile and she was reaching forward as if to help me.

"I-I'm fine," I bit down hard on my lip trying to be polite, "no harm done."

"Its just that its time for closing," she frowned. Her nametag read 'Maggie', such an ordinary name. She probably had a husband who adored her at home and an army of grandchildren. I wondered briefly what it would be like to have a normal family. A family who spoke to each other, who laughed together. A family who saw each other at least once a week. Shaking my head I gritted my teeth, I had long ago begun to accept that as soon as I was old enough and had enough money I would likely never see my family again. Life was cruel. I was cruel. We got along hand in hand. Realising Maggie was still waiting on me to speak I took an extra long gulp of coffee, embracing the bitter scent that ran down my throat.

"Your closing already?" I muttered. Glancing at the window I was shocked to see that darkness had swallowed the murky grey skies that had been present during Emily's wedding ceremony.

"This isn't Seattle hun," Maggie grinned suddenly showing her yellowing teeth, "we close at normal hours here."

"Don't I know it," I murmured under my breath. My eyes darted back to the drunk as he scraped his chair across the tiled floor and flashed me a grin before heading towards the front door. Wrapping my arms tightly around my stomach I tried to suppress my shivers.

"What you saying?" Maggie asked her brows furrowed.

"Nothing," I snapped and then instantly regretted, "keep the change." Throwing my money uselessly to the table I slid out of the booth and stalked towards the door. Hesitating I placed my hand on the door handle noticing a truck still lingering in the car park. I swallowed loudly.

"Hun," turning I saw Maggie watching me from afar, her gaze finally resting on my bare feet, "do you have a ride? I don't like the idea of a young girl walking around these parts on her own. We're in the middle of nowhere out here."

"I've walked through rougher areas in the dead of night lady," I retorted without thinking, "I can look after myself."

"That may be the case but your not invincible," she smiled again, a pitying smile. I hated pity. The cold of the door handle seemed to burn my skin. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I heard the rumble of a truck and watched as it left the car park.

"I'll be fine. My boyfriend is picking me up around the corner," I lied easily. I had become an expert liar over the months, it had become a necessity.

"Lucky boy. Having a girl like you-"

"Goodnight," I cut her off quickly pushing the door forward. The cold night air slapped me in the face as I stepped out. The harsh sound of the door closing behind me spurred me onwards. Distantly I wondered what time it was. My bare feet nipped as I walked on the cold ground.

The silence seemed extremely loud. Normally when I walked home drunken singing and the horns of swerving taxi drivers sounded loudly around me. There had always been something comforting about the hazy lights of Seattle, the notion that wherever I was there was always somewhere near me, someone to help me if I needed help. But out in the middle of nowhere. Out on the outskirts of La Push there was nothing but a freekin owl to keep my company. I wondered how Emily had adjusted so easily to being in La Push- she just seemed to fit in perfectly with her surroundings. It was like she was destined to live in La Push. One other thing we no longer had in common.

My heart raced in my chest as I heard the dull roar of a car behind me. Oh crap. It was probably the drunk from the diner. Ducking my head I picked up my pace forcing myself onwards. I wondered briefly if anyone would even miss me if I was abducted in the middle of nowhere, I wondered if they would even realise if I was gone. Maybe Paul would? I shook the thought form my head.

My leg began to ache as I picked up the pace, a burning sensation crawling up the length it. Stupid limp, it always reappeared at the most inconvenient of moments. It had probably been those killer heels that I had insisted on wearing. My therapist told me that I was rebelling against rules as up until my accident I had lived in world of strict rules and regimes, she had insisted that it would be the death of me. Maybe the stupid bimbo was right after all, she should definitely get a pay rise for being right. She wasn't right very often.

"Wait," a low voice called out, "Wait up!"

"Shit," I whispered lowly trying desperately to pick up the pace tears burning in the corners of my eyes. Was it bad of me to really want a cigarette? After all it was a cigarette that had caused the whole mess I was in. If I hadn't went for a cigarette I would have never have met Paul. If I had never of met Paul I wouldn't have wanted to crush everyone in my path which in this case had been Quil. If Paul hadn't asked me to dance I wouldn't have stormed off and downed all the alcohol in sight before walking to the middle of nowhere.

"Wait!" the voice called again, "I can just tackle to the ground if you don't stop. For God's sake."

Breathing heavily I began to jog the rain beginning to fall lightly around me. I let out a high pitched scream and curled my hand into a fist as someone grabbed my arm. Biting my lip I swirled round and punched my attacker on the jaw.

"Fuck," I snarled as pain shot through my hand. How was anyone that hard?

"_Shit_. Oh shit," the voice murmured, "Anna? Your not hurt are you? Oh god I'm so dead. So dead. He is going to _kill_ me."

"How the hell do you know my name?" I whimpered trying unsuccessfully to push my pain to the back of my mind. Stupid, hard kidnapper. Why did I have to be the target of someone with muscles like steel? A wolf howled in the distance causing me to flinch.

"Its me," the figure moved closer to me, "Brady."

"Because that is just so bloody enlightening isn't it?" I snapped, "I just happen to know someone by the name of Brady who comes and grabs girls in the middle of dark deserted roads while their bare foot and obviously walking home."

As he neared closer I could see 'Brady' trying unsuccessfully to hide a grin while my mouth curled downwards into a frown. He was a clone, I realised. A rather happy, not quite so sleazy clone. But he was a clone none the less. They were everywhere!

"Of course," I tried to hide my limp as I turned to walk away, "it would make sense that all of Sam's minions had to hit on me before the night is over. Or maybe more accurately in this case for me to hit you." The pain flared up in my hand again, but I was used to worse. Much worse.

"Your walking the wrong way," I heard a hint of laughter in Brady's voice. He sounded younger than I expected, more childlike, "La Push is the other way."

Crap.

"I knew that," I muttered turning to walk by him. My heart jumped as he placed his warm hand on my shoulder, "I was just talking a de-tour."

"Sure you were," Brady shrugged, "but since I'm here and all, do you want a lift back?"

"No," I grumbled beginning to walk again but stumbled flying forwards. Brady had me in his arms before I could protest. My leg and hand continued to burn. My dress clung to every curve in my body as the rain continued to fall around us. Annoyed I swept my hair out of my face as Brady's eyes lingered momentarily on my chest.

"Does anyone in this town understand the concept of personal space?" I muttered genuinely curious.

"No," Brady looked worriedly down at my hand and winced, "not really. Us natives love our hugs." I brought my hands up to pound on his chest as he began to carry me towards the tiny car left loitering in the middle of the road but I then remembered his rock hard body. I wondered if everyone on La Push was on steroids or if they had put some weird stimulant in the water.

My head thumped as he placed me carefully in the passengers seat before running around the other side and restarting the ignition before I could even begin to contemplate my escape.

"Do you enjoy kidnapping random strangers in the dark? Does it make you feel powerful?" I asked bitterly slouching down in my chair. The tiny car grumbled reluctantly as we moved forward, I was sure it would just stop dead at any given moment.

"Your not a stranger," Brady smiled brightly, "your Anna." His vibrant ocean blue eyes were scanning my face as if searching for something. I shuffled around uncomfortably trying not to jolt my leg too much.

"Unless the definition is changed a stranger is someone whom you don't know which you are. I have never seen you in my life before. Admit ably I have seen some of your clones but I'm pretty sure I have never engaged in conversation with you. Ever" I was almost certain that he had a screw loose.

"Clones?" his hands tightened on the steering wheel as he turned to peer at me in curiosity.

"My name for Sam and his cult. You all look the same, all feel the impulsive need to show off your chests and all equally as sleazy and stupid."

Unexpectedly Brady let out a laugh, his whole face lighting up. I pursed my lips together in confusion as I fiddled with the controls to turn the heat up. He seemed so carefree and relaxed, unlike the many other numerous people I had met in La Push. It was strangely refreshing. Briefly I wondered how old he was, physically he seemed a lot older than me but the innocence in his eyes seemed to suggest he was somewhat younger than he appeared.

"You are nothing like your sister at all," he shook his head from side to side his eyes still focused on me rather than the road. My fingers itched for a cigarette as annoyance consumed me once again.

"Am I supposed to be?" I snapped, "I am nothing like Em. Just because we supposedly have the same whacked up genes doesn't mean a thing. And hey, somebody needs to be the bitch around here, La Push is seriously lacking in that department since Leah went on vacation or whatever the hell she went to Bali for."

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain as the car lurched forwards.

"Your perfect for him," Brady murmured under his breath.

"What?" I snapped. What the hell was he talking about? Glancing at the clock in the car for the first time I realised it was just after three in the morning. I was going to be in so much shit.

"Nothing," Brady spoke quickly his eyes once again flickering to my injured hand, "I was just saying it sure is going to be interesting having you around."

"Oh," I smiled slightly, "I'm not staying. As soon as my mother is finished with her motherly crap she's going to take me back home before she goes to Australia for business."

"Your not staying?" he turned to me his eyes wide almost in fear. Steroids. They were definitely on steroids, there was no other reasonable explanation for their mood swings and abnormal growth.

"Of course not. I would rather be run over by a car, then pushed off a cliff, torn apart limb by limb by a shark and then eaten by a cannibal than live in this god forsaken place."

"You hate it here that much?" his voice was so quiet that it was almost a whisper.

"Don't take it personally," I smiled bitterly at him, "other than you spraining my hand you are the least sleazy person I have met all day. That's a compliment. But I still hate it here. Its too….claustrophobic."

I realised the car had rolled to a halt. Glancing up I noticed all the lights burning brightly in the house in front of me.

"Oh shit," I muttered under my breath.

"Do me a favour?" Brady looked terrified as I turned to face him, "tell them you hit your hand off a tree or something. _Please_?"

"Sure," I shrugged, "although if I were you I'd be flaunting those abs not hiding them. See you sweetie." He looked at me in outright horror as I placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before stumbling from the car.

Limping up to the front door I smoothed down my dress but before I could open the door it opened from the inside. Paul stood in front of me his eyes burning. My breath caught in my throat.

"Where the hell have you been?" he raged pulling me against his chest and seemed to…sniff me?

"Let go of me you creep," I spat pushing him backwards with my good hand. Glancing around I noticed a tired Emily sitting on the couch still in her wedding dress. My Mum had her ever present glass of wine in her hand and Sam looked like he wanted to rip someone's head off. Probably mine.

"Be quiet," my Mum hissed, "Claire is asleep."

Paul seemed to be shaking slightly beside me. Edging backwards I winced as I hit my hand off the wall.

"What happened?" Paul was instantly in front of me. The guy really couldn't take a hint. If he touched me one more time I was going to kick him, again.

"I fell," I muttered trying to get past him.

"Don't lie to me," he hissed as he clutched my arm tighter, "I can smell Brady all over you."

"_Paul_!" Emily snapped obviously severely pissed off, "your hurting her. Go for a run, blow off some steam."

"I am going to kill him," Paul muttered shaking wildly. I took another step backwards sending a pile of wedding presents tumbling to the floor. I winced as I heard something smash. Sam looked ready to explode as he pushed by me, grabbed Paul by the arm and towed him outside. We all stared after him.

"That boy has some serious issues," I rolled my eyes hoping for a laugh, instead I was greeted with silence. I was so dead.

_Thoughts?_


	4. A questioning Claire and an angry Paul

_Thank you all so much for your reviews last chapter. This story is completely different form my others and I really appreciate your feedback especially about my characters. Her we go with another chapter. Enjoy.._

Ignoring the dull ache in my leg I chewed furiously on my bottom lip as I chucked my bag out of the window praying no one would see it. Glancing downwards I looked at the green plant winding up the side of the house and hoped it would hold my weight. I mean I knew I had piled on a few extra pounds with the whole eating chocolate cake for breakfast thing, but I wasn't _that_ heavy. At least I didn't think so.

"Quilly?" a small voice murmured. Cursing under my breath I turned to see Claire sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes. Great, I was getting compared to an oversized bear who didn't even bother to chew his food before he swallowed. And people wondered why the hell I was so bitter. I scowled.

"Quil's not here," I tried to smile but it came across as more of a grimace. I was awful with kids, I didn't have the patience to deal with them. They whined and threw just as many tantrums as I did yet I was the only one who was seen as bitchy. Totally unfair in my opinion. And they got to eat as much chocolate as they wanted without getting cast disapproving glances every five seconds. Kids had it easy, if only they never had to grow up and realise how crappy the real world was.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon," I added hastily watching as Claire's flushed face had begun to crumble under the weight of my words. I couldn't do anything right. Why couldn't she have waited five more minutes to wake up? Why the hell had that been so hard? Stupid, stupid luck.

My eyes flickered back to the open window as Claire pulled a stupid stuffed wolf closer to her chest. Really, in my days it was bears. I had never understood that logic, giving children cuddly toys of things which were supposed to be feared in the adult world. Some days I had the urge to walk up to a grizzly and ask for a hug and then blame freekin toy manufacturers when I got my head chewed off. The whole world was damn crazy if you ask me, which you didn't, but I tend to give my opinion anyways these days. My mute button seems to have evaporated.

"Where are you going?" Claire still sat up in bed, her seemingly intelligent eyes watching my every move. From the moment I had stepped through the front door of Emily's house I had felt like I was under surveillance. It was even worse than the few fateful nights I had been in the psychiatric ward. Everyone seemed to be judging me, waiting for me to slip up. At least I had the decency to give them a show, I would have hated for the gossips not to find anything juicy that they could tell the whole of La Push. And now they had my tiny niece watching me too. I suppose it shouldn't have hurt so much, it had been a long time since I had been trusted with anything, but surprisingly it did. Like a incredibly sharp dagger through the heart.

"Out," I muttered in answer to Claire's question as I gingerly swung my bad leg out of the window and peeked out trying to make sure I wouldn't end up dead if I fell.

"But where to?" Claire asked her voice increasingly persistent for someone so small. A smile tugged at the edge of my lips, she reminded me so much of me at times that it scared me. I may hate the world but I didn't want her to turn out bitter like me. No one should ever have to end up like me. It royally sucked.

"Just out little girl," I rolled my eyes swinging my other leg round to sit on the window ledge, "didn't you mama never tell you not to ask so many questions?"

"My mum left last year. I live with Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam now," Claire's voice was scarily calm for a five year old, it tugged on my heart strings. That explained the hint of bitterness I had witnessed. I had known my Aunt had fled to open a clinic in Africa after her ugly divorce, but Claire had chosen to stay behind. My supposedly 'responsible' Aunt had let my young niece handle such an important decision on her own. I would always hate her for that.

"I know sweetheart," I tried to make my voice sound softer- more like Emily's- but instead I sounded fake and uncaring. Which I was. Gripping the window ledge tighter I shuffled forward slightly trying to grasp the plant running down the length of the house.

"You know cigarettes are bad for you, right?" Claire murmured as she lay back down in her bed as if suddenly bored of our conversation. I almost lost my grasp and fell to the ground at her perception, of course she knew where I was going even before I did. Swallowing my usual sarcastic response to that comment I gazed over at Claire one more time as she snuggled further down in her bed.

"Yeah I know," I muttered, "but sometimes things that are bad for you make even worse thing fade into the background for just a little while."

Taking a deep breath I reached out and grabbed what looked like a rather large stem. Swinging my whole body round I closed my eyes and held on tightly as I shuffled down the side of the house, the plant swayed dangerously beneath me. It had been so much easier to sneak out in Seattle, my Mum was normally so drunk she couldn't differentiate between actual life and what was going on in television.

Grabbing my shoulder bag from the ground I ducked down and ran down the driveway towards the road- well, if you can really call it that- lining the forest edge. Digging my hands deep in my short pockets I cautiously inhaled the unfamiliar scent of the earth and rain around me. Pushing past the pain in my leg I walked quickly desperate to get away from the suffocating confinement of Emily's home. Everyone was too happy, seemingly so blissfully unaware of life outside of La Push that it scared me. I had a sinking feeling in my gut that when my Mum and I left we would never see Emily again. She had a new family. A husband. People who cared more about her than we ever did. She didn't need us anymore, she especially didn't need me fucking up her perfect new life. I fucked everything up, it was inevitable.

Concentrating on the rhythmic sound of my feet hitting off the ground I choked back a pointless sob. Just barely I could remember my laughing self twirling around in the house as Emily laughed with me. It seemed so long ago. How could it only have been as little as four years? I hadn't always a bitch. Maybe if things had turned out the way they were supposed to I never would of ended up one. I tried to imagine what my life would have been like without the accident. I could picture myself dancing with all of the enormous jackasses, flirting with them and only having the occasional sip of wine. Claire would have looked up at me with wonder and Emily would have smiled at me as she walked down the aisle. Hell, maybe I would have even liked Sam. Although probably not. I could see it all so clearly that it hurt, it hurt so damn much. Tracing the familiar scar on my forearm I drew in a shaky breath. I was desperate for a cigarette. I picked up my pace trying to remember how far away from civilisation I was.

"What the hell do you think your doing?"

Startled, I stumbled forward only to be caught in a scorching embrace. A shot of pain crawled up my leg as I hissed in pain. Glaring upwards I got lost in the hauntingly familiar eyes of Paul. My heart clenched tightly in my chest.

"Get your hands off me," I spat trying to push him away and not succeeding, "I like my personal space okay? How many times do I have to say that before it registers in your thick skull?" I hit my hands repeatedly off his chest enforcing my every word. Pain shot through them as I remember spraining my hand on Brady's equally hard chest the night before. Funny how I had hardly noticed it all morning. Of course it would be Paul that reminded me, he reminded me of a lot of things. Things I would rather forget. Things I would rather leave in the past.

"Let me go," I repeated through gritted teeth. Paul's eyes seemed to flicker over every image of my body looking for damage before taking a reluctant step backwards. Smoothing down my tank top I gazed around taking in Quil's familiar smirk and the guy I recognised as Embry and his abnormally wide smile. What the hell did a girl have to do for privacy in La Push? Lock herself in a cupboard? I wasn't against theat idea.

"I asked you what you were _doing_?" Paul repeated as he reached up to run a hand through his non existent hair. Standing my ground I forced myself to look into his burning dark eyes instead of letting my eyes linger on the droplets of sweat lingering on his exposed chest. Why did he have to be so damn hot? And not just in the literal sense.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing Paul? I'm walking. Lots of people do it. You should try it sometime," I rolled my eyes trying to move past him but he easily blocked my path. Stupid steroid taking giants. Sometimes I hated being so freeking tiny.

"The girl does have a point," Embry winked at me as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Sidling up closer to him I returned the wink. Beside me I felt Paul's frame vibrate suddenly, almost as if he were a walking time bomb.

"Shut up Call," he growled and then refocused on me, "I can see your walking. But why? Aren't you supposed to be on house arrest?"

"Seriously? You're interrogating _me_?" I swirled stabbing him in the chest with my pointed finger, "you're the one who just stumbled out of the woods half naked with two other guys. Maybe I'm not the only one with secrets huh? Something you would like to share with the class Pauly?" His shaking increased and Embry took a step forward almost as if protecting me from him. I frowned at the sudden tense atmosphere that engulfed us. Something was off.

"I suggest you shut up now," Quil muttered, "unless you want to get seriously hurt."

"Is that a threat Quil?" I snarled bypassing him to glare at Paul some more. Jackass. I cured my hands into fists.

"No," Embry's voice sounded hollow, "merely a warning."

Glancing up to the sky I groaned aloud as rain began to fall steadily around us.

"Look all I wanted was a peaceful walk into town to buy some cigarettes and a large quantity of alcohol," I threw my arms up in the air to emphasise my point, " I don't appreciate being told what to do like some freeking five year old. I do not like you, in fact I would go as far as to day I hate the whole lot of you..apart from maybe Brady. So just leave me the hell alone!"

Paul's hand darted out to clutch my arm tightly as I went to walk by him yet again. Using my free hand I wiped the rain furiously away from my face. Quil and Embry exchanged anxious glances as a wolf howled in the distance.

"Why do you have to be such a selfish little brat?" Paul yelled still shaking, "of course out of all the people in the god damned world I would get stuck with you."

"What the hell are you on about Paul?" I tried to tear my arm from his grasp but he was just too strong, "I don't even know you. You are not 'stuck' with me and whatever messed bi polar thing you have going on I would appreciate it if you kept it away from me."

"Your so screwed up," his words hit a little hard to home and I flinched, "you're a pathetic mess. And an ungrateful bitch. Sam got Emily and I got you. You!"

Against my judgement I cried out as Paul's grip tightened on my arm. Quil stepped quickly in between us and unsuccessfully tried to pry Paul's fingers away. My breaths came out in short gasps.

"You are seriously messed up," I laughed wildly as my hair blew in my face. I thought back to the soft glint in his eyes only the previous day and the careful way he had handled my injured hand when I had stumbled in drunk. Where had that Paul gone?

"Have you looked in the mirror sweetheart?" he smirked coldly, "I'm not the messed up one here."

"Oh fuck off Paul," I roared as I finally managed to wrench my arm from his grasp. His body was shaking so much that he was almost blurry. Inwardly I realised I was terrified of him but I kept my expression neutral. I wasn't going to let some jackass make me crumble. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Gladly," Paul muttered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. I stood limp with shock as he stalked towards the trees his figure still blurry. Quil's hand reached out towards me but I flinched backwards.

"Leave me alone," I whispered, "will all of you just leave me the hell alone?"

Sprinting by him I tried to ignore the feeling that my heart was breaking in two. Choking on air I ignored the stinging of my eyes as I continued to run. I hated Paul Meraz. I hated him more than I had ever had hated anyone in the world. I never wanted to see him again.

_Thoughts? _


	5. Self hatred and damaged goods

**Paul's POV**

Drawing my hand back I lashed out at the tree again, embracing the pain. I felt incredibly weak. That girl was messing with my head. Messing with my heart. She was a train wreck. How the hell was I supposed to help her when I couldn't even help myself? Growling I punched the tree again.

"Paul!" a deep voice almost snarled from behind me. Ignoring them I raised my leg and kicked out at the tree again my heart thumping abnormally fast in my chest. I could feel my wolf desperately trying to push through my barriers. I couldn't phase. I couldn't let them see what I had done. I couldn't deal with their blatant judgement. I was such a fuck up. What kind of wolf destroyed a girl with words? A shitty one, that was for sure.

"Paul!" the voice repeated harsher than the time before. Panting I gritted my teeth as I glared down at the dried blood on my knuckles before lashing out again. I deserved to feel pain. Anna's flash repeatedly flashed in my head. Her narrowed eyes desperately trying to push back her emotion. The way she had stumbled backwards seemingly recoiling from my words. I had hurt her.

I had fucking hurt her.

I was such a failure.

I hit the tree harder.

"Paul," the voice spoke lowly, "**stop**!"

My fist suddenly seemed like it was wading through water, a fiery sensation clawed at the edge of my skin creating unbearable pain. Stupid alpha command. Stupid, stupid Sam. Collapsing to the ground I glared up at Sam. Didn't he understand I wanted to forget what had happened? I wanted to take every word back more than anything in the world. I hadn't meant any of it. I wanted to feel pain. I deserved pain.

His face was hard, weighed down with the responsibility he felt for everyone. An awful sensation of guilt suddenly overwhelmed me. It was the day after his freeking wedding, he was supposed to be having breakfast in bed with Emily not dealing with a temperamental wolf and his insane imprint. I winced. She wasn't insane. She was troubled. Troubled. Just like me.

"S-Sam," my voice cracked, "I hurt her. I told her I hated her."

"Come on," he sounded tired, "lets get you back to the house."

"But Sam," I snarled, "I freeking hurt her. Why was I able to do that? She's my imprint. I could see the way she was crumbling under my words yet I didn't stop. I didn't fucking stop."

Behind me the tree creaked under my weight as I used it to get to my feet. Sam narrowed his eyes as I hid my bloody fist behind my back.

"You're an angry person Paul. It would make sense that you were paired with your match. The only person in the world that may be more angry than you, more hurt than you. They may be our everything but think of Em," he winced as he spoke, "sometimes our wolf surfaces. What you said to her was probably true but the way in which you expressed it was wrong. We can be their best friends, their husbands but we can also be the ones they fear the most. The line between love and hate is thinner than I ever thought was possible. And Anna is damaged. Not everything is simple Paul."

I was silent as I followed Sam through the trees. In the distance I could hear the whimpers of animals, I had always scared them even in my human form. I didn't know how to love, I didn't understand how to care for her. Every time I was near Anna my hands itched to run themselves through her hair or wind my arms round her waist, yet every time IU attempted these things she would glower at me, her face a mask of composure.

She was so beautiful. Damn. Tiny and beautiful. Her black hair fell in loose curls around her normally pale face making her look soft and open. But when I peered closer I could see the scratches on her skin, the way her bones jutted out of her skinny frame and the instant distrust in her eyes. What the hell had happened to her?

I glanced up as we exited the trees my body quivering slightly. Emily sat on the back porch looking defeated. The shiny glow she had worn on her wedding day seemed to have almost disappeared. It was true, we could hurt our imprints almost as easily as we could love them. They were connected to us in a concept even more deep then soul mates. Emily's scars were proof of that.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Emily snapped uncharacteristically, "cant you see how fragile she is? How breakable?"

"I-I don't-" I couldn't think of a response. Sam pulled an angry Emily close to his chest and I gazed away, the moment so intimate that I felt like an intruder.

"He didn't mean it love," Sam whispered, "every imprint is different. We cant all be Jared and Kim."

"I don't know what to do," I admitted, "I've never loved anyone. Not like this. It scares the hell out of me. She scares the hell out of me."

"Have you even listened to her?" Emily sighed tilting her head to look at me, "she wants personal space so you smother her. She wants to be free so you set restrictions. Do you not think its _killing_ me Paul? Do you know how much I want to hug my little sister, how much I want to see her laugh? Your supposed to help her not make her even more bitter." Sam smoothed down Emily's hair in a soothing gesture while I stood frozen to the spot.

"What happened to her Em? Why is she like this? Why is she hurting so much?"

"She.." Emily began but we were interrupted by an ear splitting scream. My whole body seemed to spasm in pain as my feet began sprinting without conscious thought. It was Anna. Anna was in pain.

"Oh crap," I heard Emily whisper from behind me, " it wasn't supposed to happen like this."

Reaching the front of the house I drunk in the scene before me. Anna stood in the middle of the driveway holding a packet of cigarettes limply in her hand. Her mother stood in front of her a suitcase at her feet. Oh shit.

"What do you mean your leaving?" Anna's voice was scarily calm as though she would explode at any moment, "what were you going to do huh? Just disappear and leave me some shitty little note. No way in hell am I staying in this place."

"Yes you are," he mother's voice was cold and I hated her for it, "do you really think I could let you stay in Seattle by yourself while I was away? You would fuck everything up. I would come back to a drugged up daughter and a house probably burned to the ground." Emily went to run towards her family but Sam held her back shooting me a meaningful look over her head. I wanted nothing more than to grab the mother and bang her head repeatedly off a brick wall. How dare she talk to Anna like her?

"If you leave I'll just make my own way home," Anna's voice was laced with spits of anger but she still kept up an incredibly calm façade. No, she couldn't leave me. The mere thought of her being anymore than fifteen minutes away made my heart squeeze in pain. I couldn't let her go on hating me. I needed to make things right. I needed to help her get better. We both needed each other I realised suddenly.

"With what? I found your stash of money and you have no car," her mum's voice was suddenly sad, "your staying with Sam and Emily and that's the end of it."

I flinched as she got into the car and slammed the door. Instinctively I rushed forward grabbing Anna gently around the waist as she began to lash out at the tiny car.

"Let me go Paul," her voice was ragged and filled with pure hatred, "don't touch me!" Emily ran forward her face crumpling as she watched her mother start up the car engine.

"Its only for a little while," Em was saying softly, "and then you can go home. Please, for me? _Please_?"

"I cant stay here," Anna had gone limp in my arms, "I cant stay here. I cant.," she raised her voice again, "I hate everything here. I hate you all." My heart crashed against my chest as she scratched at my arms and tried to kick me. The pain in her voice made me never want to let her go. We all watched as her mother's car drove slowly down the driveway.

Everything was so messed up. Story of my life.

_Thoughts?_

_Thank you all so much for your reviews last chapter, it motivated me to write this chapter straight away. I hope this clears up some stuff for you. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. It will be back to Anna's POV next chapter. Sorry this chapter was so short, but hey! two chapters in two days. Until next time :)_


	6. Stalkers and escape plans

I had a plan. Sort of.

I needed to get the hell out of La Push.

Leaning against the counter I sipped cautiously at my mug of coffee as I watched Em and a girl name Kim sitting on the porch step laughing. They both looked so happy. My eyes flickered to Sam and Jared seemingly watching them both with fascination, the girls didn't even seem to notice. Kim seemed nice, too nice and entirely too plain to be someone that I would invest my time in talking to but the way Jared stared blatantly at her made her seem stunningly beautiful. I noticed things I hadn't noticed at first glance, like the red tinge to her rather dull hair and the permanent red tinge to her cheeks.

"Spying, are we?" Startled I pressed a hand to my chest and held back a hiss as coffee sloshed over the side of my mug and onto my hand. I curled my hand into a fist.

"Oh fuck off Brady," I grumbled as he pulled me into a hug before I could protest. Colin winked at me as he lounged on one of the dining room chairs. Seemingly of my own accord my eyes darted to the doorway where Paul stood. My heart squeezed in my chest. Damn hormones.

"Charming," Brady ruffled my hair before stepping out of range so I couldn't hit him, "I should have known you weren't a morning person."

"What makes you think that?" I snapped slamming my mug down on the table, "maybe I'm not an afternoon or night-time person either."

"What crawled up you ass and died?" Colin smirked as he bit into an apple. From the doorway Paul growled. Actually freaking growled! I continued to ignore him suddenly conscious of my tiny boy shorts and the oversized shirt I had found in the washing.

"Don't mind her," Brady spoke like I wasn't even there, "she's a little bitter."

"Bitter might be an understatement," Colin commented as I narrowed my eyes and tugged at the bottom of my shorts. I could tell Paul was staring at me without even turning to look, the fiery sensation that engulfed my whole body told me his eyes were on me. During the four days which I had been forced to stay with Em and Sam I had blatantly ignored Paul, or just outright insulted him. He made my skin crawl. And he was always around. _Always_.

The word stalker didn't even begin to describe Paul.

"I need a ride to Port Angeles," I tried to keep my voice neutral as I spoke. It was time to put my plan into action. I heard Paul shuffle in the doorway and Brady narrowed his eyes at me.

"What for?" he asked.

"Clothes," I spat, "in case you haven't noticed I didn't really pack for more than a few days. As much as you all like looking at my legs I do actually need something to wear rather than my ripped dress and shorts."

"Oh," Brady eyes suddenly darted to my legs that were littered with countless bruises, "sorry no can do. I have p-pa…I mean I have work to do."

"Sure you do," I rolled my eyes, "Colin?"

"Nope," he exchanged a glance with Brady, "I have to help Brady with his work."

"Fucking brilliant," I muttered under my breath. Behind me Paul coughed but I ignored him as I slouched against the counter. So much for my fantastic plan.

"I could take you," Paul's deep voice sent a shiver down my spine but I forced myself not to react. Brady smiled encouragingly at me.

"I would rather have my eyes clawed out," I snarled still not turning to look at him. I tapped my fingernails on the counter as I thought of other options. Emily chose that moment to walk in through the door a wide smile spread across her face. She was always too freaking happy.

"What's going on?" she breathed as she opened the refrigerator seemingly looking for something.

"Nothing," I murmured avoiding her eyes.

"Anna wanted to go clothes shopping in Port Angeles and Paul offered to take her," I narrowed my eyes at Brady as he spoke. Did he have a death wish or was he just genuinely thick? I could never tell.

"Well that's a great idea!" Emily exclaimed turning to face me. Frowning I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand.

"No thanks," I smiled with fake enthusiasm, "I'll just wait until the next time someone else goes."

"That wont be for a week at least," Emily told me, her eyes glinting with secrets. She was not the Em I had grown up, the Em I had loved more than anything else in the world. I hardly knew her.

"You have got to be shitting me," I groaned placing my head in my hands.

Which was why half an hour later I slipped into Paul's truck keeping my eyes straight ahead. It was surprisingly clean but the earthy smell of Paul lingered in the air making it hard to concentrate. I snarled as Paul's warm hand accidentally brushed mine.

"Sorry," he whispered as he turned the key in the ignition and made his way out of the driveway. I was hyper aware of the way his muscles clenched as he gripped the steering wheel and the way his dark eyes were narrowed in concentration. He smirked as he noticed me looking at him.

"See something you like?" he grinned obnoxiously. Gritting my teeth I shuffled as far away from him as I could get.

"Hardly," I snapped, "I was just thinking of all the ways to cause you pain."

"Oh really," he rolled his eyes as he pressed harder down on the accelerator, "please do enlighten me."

"Well cutting off your manhood is the obvious choice, but cutting off your tongue instead would make life so much quieter. Although I have toyed with the idea of sticking pins in your eyes so they wouldn't blatantly stare at my chest when I wear a tank top-"

"It hard not too," he muttered beside me. I cursed under my breath as I flushed a little at his words. Damn Paul freeking Meraz.

"Why must you be so damn sleazy all the time?" I snarled as I placed my feet on the dashboard. Paul looked blatantly at my feet but I kept them where they were. La Push past us in a blur of green.

"I don't mean to be," Paul's voice was softer than I was used to me, "if my staring makes you uncomfortable just say."

Turning away from him I glanced down at my bitten nails. I needed to lose him as soon as we got to Port Angeles for my plan to have any chance of succeeding. He was far too observant for his own good. Brady and Colin would have been more interested in their stomachs than me and would have been easy to lose, but I had a feeling Paul would not take his eyes off of me for a moment.

"I'm sorry for the other day," Paul continued, "I didn't mean what I said."

"Yes you did," rolling down the window I searched my bag for a cigarette, "its alright. I know I'm messed up and a bitch, it wasn't anything I haven't heard before."

Paul turned to face me, he looked as though he was in pain. My heart clenched tightly.

"Where the hell are my cigarettes?" I muttered under my breath.

"I hid them," Paul said simply.

"You what?" I spat.

"I hid them," she shrugged, "they're bad for you."

"Your so lucky you are driving right now or I would take great please in murdering you. _Slowly_. And then dumping your body in the ocean where no one could ever find you. Then I could steal your car and go home. Far, far away from this hellhole."

"I would like to see you try," Paul smirked.

"Don't underestimate me. I may be tiny but I'm deadly."

Paul's laughter shook the whole car. It was going to be a long drive.

_Another short chapter. Thoughts? _

_Oh and a quick question for all you American readers, how old are you in your senior year of high school? I'm confused. Thanks. _


	7. Shopping and lies

"Are you nearly done?" Paul sounded impatient. I could almost imagine him leaning against the wall glaring at anyone who dared to look at him. Sighing loudly I ignored his question as I remained sitting on the floor of the changing room my eyes flickering over the two pairs of jeans in front of me. I knew they would fit, I had the same two pairs back in Seattle.

"Well?" Paul almost growled, I could tell his eyes would be getting darker and darker with anger. If there was anything Paul was good for it was clearing a room. Thinking about him made my heart jump unexpectedly. The way his shirt stretched over his imposing muscles and the earthy smell that always seemed to linger on him. Too bad he was a selfish asshole who ate like a wild animal.

"Anna," he was growling this time, "if you don't hurry up, I am going to open this curtain. I don't care if your naked."

I really needed to get rid of him and soon. His eyes had followed my every move all day. He hadn't even flinched when I bought tampons or made any sarcastic remarks when I bought make up. It was unnerving. Once again I wished Collin and Brady were with me, they would have been so much easier to ditch. I really had to get rid of him. And fast. Or I was going to miss my bus.

"What is your problem?" I snapped as I jerked the curtain open, "I need to make sure I like them before I buy them."

"You mean before you buy them using Emily's money," he smirked his eyes grazing over my exposed stomach where my top had ridden up. Glaring at him I pulled it down. He rolled his eyes as he handed me some money.

"Stop looking at me like a piece of meat," I snapped curling my hands into fists.

"Well then stop being so delicious," he smirked. My hand twitched to punch him, but I ignored it.

"Asshole," I muttered under my breath.

"Need anything else in here?" he asked scratching at the back of his neck, I had come to learn it was one of his many nervous habits.

"Wait by the door," I ordered as I walked quickly towards the counter. Paul shook his head and crossed his arms. Why did he have to be so stubborn? It was getting on my nerves.

"Look there's no windows in here," I insisted, "I wouldn't be able to escape even if I tried. Don't you trust me?"

"I-I.." Paul began as his arms fell loosely to his sides. I grinned in quiet victory. Turning away from him I painted a terrified expression on my face, biting my lip for good measure. The sales assistant looked worried as I approached her.

"Is everything okay hunny?" she asked as I placed the jeans on the counter with shaky hands. The fiery sensation on my back told me Paul was watching my every move, I had to be sneaky.

"I-It's my ex," I whispered quietly knowing Paul had freakishly good hearing, "he wont leave me alone." The sale's assistant's piercing blue eyes flickered between Paul and I her mouth curled downwards in a frown. Inside, I danced a silent victory dance.

"Do you want me to call the police?" she asked her hand already reaching for the phone. Oh crap.

"No," I almost shouted before I remembered to lower my voice, "No. He's not well," I lied, "If you could just distract him for a minute or two and let me out a back door or something?" My palms were beginning to sweat. Glancing behind me I noticed Paul's narrowed eyes on me but he didn't look suspicious. Good. A shiver ran up the length of my spine as I turned back to face the shop assistant.

"Of course," she flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder before leaning in towards me, "the back door is behind the jeans rack. I'll tell him your going to get another pair."

Smiling brightly at her I walked steadily towards the door, trying to keep my pace even. Clenching my hand around the door handle I looked behind me to see Paul glaring at the tiny woman, his whole body tense. A sense of dread suddenly engulfed me. Ignoring it, I pushed open the door and ran.

Seattle, here I come.

_Thoughts?_

_I know it is the shortest chapter, ever. And I promise the next one will be longer I just didn't want to leave you all hanging. Until next time. _

_Once again thank you all so much for your reviews, i really appreciate them._


	8. Honesty and Rejection

_Thank you all so much for your reviews, they are what inspire me to keep writing. And thank you also to your answer to old seniors in America are. And in answer to your questions Anna is seventeen and supposed to be starting her senior year when the summers out, but with Anna anything is possible.._

_Here we go with another chapter. Let me know what you think…_

Stumbling down the aisle I slid into a seat beside a mildly attractive boy. I say mildly attractive because my head was full of smirking faces and unnaturally large muscles because of those damn apes I had been confronted with almost everyday since being forced to stay with Em. Ignoring the ache in my heart I forced my lips upwards into an unconvincing smile as I turned to face the boy beside me. His long blonde hair fell across his curious blue eyes and his mouth was grinning as he had just won the lottery. Maybe once upon a time he would have made me swoon, although probably not, he was too pretty for me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at my own thoughts.

"Hi," I stuck my hand forcefully out at him, "I'm Anna."

The bus jolted forward knocking me into him. Biting down hard on my lip I ignored the pain that flared up in my leg as the unknown boy's leg kicked mine. I watched as his brilliantly blue eyes lowered to my chest as he grasped his hand in mine. His skin was unusually soft in stark contrast to the large, calloused hands I had become accustomed to seeing at Em's. And I found myself gritting my teeth in disappointment when the familiar warmth didn't engulf as it did when Paul accidentally brushed up against me. Stupid, stupid hormones.

"I'm Tyler," he grinned showing his incredibly whitened teeth. I let out a squeak as the bus lurched forwards again. Tyler- still grinning- shifted until I was flush against his side. Fighting the urge to curse at him I curled my hands into fists.

"So what's in Seattle sweetheart?" My skin crawled at the endearment and I shuffled slightly away from him. Why hadn't I sad next to one of the old cat ladies near the front who would have fallen asleep within the first five minutes?

"Home," I smiled slightly remembering suddenly why I was on the bus in the first place. I relaxed back into his embrace as I remember the comforting lights of the Seattle and the familiar midnight arguments outside of my bedroom window. I had missed it. All of it.

"If home is in Seattle, what brought you to Port Angeles?" he had lowered his voice to an almost husky tone. I blinked as I was engulfed with a memory of Paul leaning against the wall outside of the changing rooms anger lacing his tone. I hated him. Hated him. So why the hell couldn't I get him out of my head?

"Shopping," I replied smartly bouncing my good leg up and down as we sped down the road. Instead of the familiar blur of green trees alongside us I was greeted by lorries and speeding cars all heading in the one direction. To Seattle. I swallowed a stupid lump that got caught in my throat.

"I know that," Tyler rolled his eyes as if mocking me. I curled my fist tighter, letting my bitten nails dig into the palm of my hand. Staring at the seat in front of me I tried not to scowl. Tyler was the only chance of me getting money, of getting food. I couldn't fuck that all up with one bitchy remark.

"Fuck!" Tyler spat as the bus lurched forward. Locking my lips together to stop myself from screaming out I slammed my hands out in front of myself to diminish the impact as the bus slammed to a stop. My heart thumped irregularly in my chest as my tongue darted out to lick my drying lips. Something was wrong. Tyler disentangled himself from me as he stood up to see what was going on.

"Some ass just drove out in front of the bus," he muttered almost in disbelief as he wrinkled up his nose, "he could of killed himself! Or us!"

The bad feeling intensified and seemed to seep into my bloodstream. Trying to control my breathing I sunk lower in my seat using my hair as a shield.

"What kind of car?" my voice was barely a whisper. He wouldn't have? Would he?

"Some big ass truck. Looks like a piece of junk," he peered down at me in confusion as I tried to curl myself into a tiny ball, "Wait. He's getting out."

"Shit," I murmured under my breath locking my arms tightly around my stomach. He would. I listened intently as the bus doors creaked open, the sound burning my ears. It was almost as if I could smell him instantly- the earthy, muddy smell that seemed to cling to him at all times. I chewed hard on my bottom lip praying that he wouldn't spot me. Damn Colin and Brady,. It would have been so much easier to lose them.

"What the hell do you think your doing kid? Do you have a death wish?" I was only half listening to the choked, smoker's voice of the driver. Briefly I wondered what would happen to my voice if I continued to smoke. My fingers twitched in my lap at the thought, I was literally dying for a cigarette. Or something alcoholic. Or both would have done.

"I've lost a patient," Paul's deep voice sent shivers throughout my body. But in the same instant my spine stiffened as I leant forward in my seat. Tyler peered down at me in curiosity again his blue eyes narrowed. A patient? A freeking patient?

What the hell was he on about?

"Mental institution," Paul's voice was low almost as if trying to whisper, he didn't fool me for one second, "We were on a day trip. It was for good behaviour. She was just out of sight for two seconds and them bam!"

I couldn't breath. Tears stung at the back of my eyes. What the hell was he doing? My fist ached to drive itself into his face over and over again until his stupid good looks were buried underneath a mountain of purple bruises. Asshole. Jerk. I absolutely hated him.

Breathing sharply I watched as Tyler's eyes connected with mine again. I knew what he would see- a tiny, bruised girl rocking back and forth muttering to herself. I was so screwed.

"Please," I whispered frantically, "don't. Please." His eyes widened as if I had just confirmed his worst fear. I heard Paul's raised voice again from the front. Tyler shook his head from side to side as he opened his mouth to shout. Sinking lower in my seat with defeat I squeezed my eyes shut to force back the tears, I wouldn't give anyone the freeking satisfaction of seeing me cry. Especially Paul. The asshole.

"Back here," Tyler's voice was so high pitched he almost sounded like a teenage girl, "I think this is her. Anna?"

The whole bus sucked in a shocked breath as Paul darted towards me shaking slightly. I saw a little girl follow him with wonder in her eyes, I hoped he didn't become her fairytale. His stormy dark eyes looked down at me, I could see the anger bubbling within them waiting to break free. I tensed waiting for him to wound me with his words.

"Lets go," his voice was colder than it had ever been, "_Now_."

His face seemed to slacken with surprise as I stood shakily to my feet without more persuasion. I wasn't an idiot, I knew better to cause a scene in the middle of an overcrowded bus. Scowling at his outstretched hand I stalked by him ignoring the tingling sensation where my arm brushed against his. Upon reaching the door I turned and glared at Tyler, I could of sworn I actually saw him trembling. Smirking slightly I stumbled from the bus and watched with remorse as the bus engine coughed to life and then was gone. I had truly fucked up, there was no way Em was ever going to let me out of her sight again.

"Come on," Paul's voice sounded almost sad as he reached out towards me. Flinching backwards I mustered all of my hatred for him into one look.

"Don't touch me," I spat through gritted teeth, "don't even look at me ever again."

Disguising my limp the best I could I fell into Paul's enormous truck, my skin felt alight with flames as his eyes skimmed over every aspect of my body as if to make sure I was still in one piece. The scent in his truck overwhelmed me and I rolled down the window before he even jumped into the cab.

"Anna-" he began after a few seconds of silence. Digging my nails into my legs I watched out of the corner of my eye as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. I was surprised it didn't snap in half.

"I thought I made it pretty clear that I didn't want to talk to you," I snapped, "but then again your pretty shitty at taking hints. You didn't take it that day at Em's wedding or the other day when I told you I despised you. And for future record when a girl runs away it mean she doesn't want to see you. Ever again." I punctuated the end of my sentence by slapping my hand on the dashboard. I knew a red flush would have crept up my neck in anger. He just infuriated me so damn much. More than anyone else in the whole world yet I still managed to get stuck with him. My heart squeezed in my chest.

"What were you going to do exactly?" his dark laughed surprised me, "when you got to Seattle in the dead of night? What if your mum had taken the spare key and you were left out in the dark? Why do you _never_ think?"

"Come _on_ Paul," I matched his laugh with an even darker one, "its not like I haven't walked the streets of Seattle alone at night before. Besides mad people tend to fit in around there."

He winced. Just slightly, but it was enough for me to know my words had effected him in someway. The arrogant ass. I hugged my knees close to my chest as the rain began to pound down on the windshield.

"You have no fucking idea what it is like," I spat still facing forward, "to be in a psychiatric ward because people think your insane, because your own mother thinks you have lost the plot. To have pills forced down your throat so you cant feel anything. Anything. Do you know what that's like. Huh?"

"I-" Paul began but I continued, interrupting him, my voice as sharp as glass.

"I was watched every moment of everyday. They gave me freeking plastic forks to eat my food. The other patients watched me with this weird fascination like I was their new toy while the nurses spoke in front of my like I didn't even exist. Like I was a nobody."

"Anna I-" Paul began again.

"And on the contrary to your beliefs we didn't get days out. I stared at four blank walls for days, there wasn't any pictures or shit. Oh no, they were scared we'd take them off the wall and somehow damage ourselves with it. I wasn't even allowed to go to the toilet myself or brush my hair or paint my nails. You have no freeking clue what it is like to be watched like that constantly, like someone is just waiting for you to trip up so they can make you spend more time in the hell hole. It sucks."

Gasping for breath I realised what I had just exposed about myself. Turing sharply around I noticed we had stopped by the side of the road Paul was shaking, his whole form blurry as if he was having some sort of epileptic fit.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I whispered. He seemed bigger than he ever had before, his body was curled over as if he was trying to push back pain. His face was strained and his eyes were narrowed to almost pin pricks as he turned to look at me. My palms were slippery as I reached for the handle behind me. Something wasn't right.

"You- you were-" he seemed to be struggling for the words as he tried to regain control, "in a psyche ward?"

I watched as the rain made intricate patterns on my window almost like tear trails. The wind howled outside, a screeching sound that made me wince. Paul was shuffled back against the door his whole body still trembling as if he was afraid to come near me. As if I disgusted him.

"That's what I just said, wasn't it?" I rolled my eyes to try and mask my discomfort, "Or was that me just talking to myself again? Must have forgotten to take my pills." I laughed bleakly as Paul's shaking increased yet again. He was breathing heavily as if he was having an asthma attack and his eyes kept darting outside and to the forest not too far off into the distance.

"You're on pills?" he gasped as he clenched and unclenched his hands. Tucking a strand of hair behind my hair I smirked thinly.

"No. That was a joke. You know haha and all that jazz?" his eyes seemed to narrow even more at my sarcasm, "I have been off the pills for a while now. Do you really think my good for nothing mother would have left me with Em if I wasn't?"

"Your so incredibly messed up," he breathed quietly. He didn't say it in a malicious way, just matter of factly, I was almost impressed with his blunt honesty. I flinched as his consistent shaking continued to rock the truck.

"Thanks for the memo," I half laughed turning away from him before he could see the tears well up in my eyes.

"I-I have to go," he spat. Then nothing. He was gone. Only the deafening bang of the door and the large indents of his fingers on the steering wheel told me he had ever really been there and I hadn't just imagined him.

Doubling over in my seat I hugged my body tightly trying to ignore the pain ripping through my body. Somehow I had expected a different reaction from Paul. There had been this tiny bead of hope inside of me that thought- maybe, just maybe- that Paul would have just shrugged it off and hugged me as if it was nothing. Not just abandoned me, in the middle of nowhere.

I should have known not to hope. Hope and love were for weak people. I didn't need anyone else to help me live my life. It was just me and I was fine with that. Just me.

"Fuck!" I hissed as tears began to stream down my face. Crawling over into the drivers seat I turned the key in the ignition. My vision was blurred with tears and the constant onslaught of rain but I pressed down on the peddle swerving out into the traffic.

It was only a hour later that I realised I was heading in the direction of Sam and Emily's. My eyes were rimmed red. Abandoning Paul's truck at a diner I left the keys in the ignition as I bought a black coffee. Then I walked. And I walked. Until I forgot where I was. Only when Brady found me sitting on First Beach in the rain did I manage to find my way back to Em's. Paul was nowhere to be seen.

My heart was shattered.

_Thoughts?_

_You don't think Anna is too much, do you? I promise to explain why she ended up in the psychiatric ward in later chapters. And who is your favourite character?_


	9. Truths and Lies

_Once again thank you all so much for your reviews, they inspire me._

Resting my chin on my knees I let the unusually warm sun caress my pasty skin. My cup of coffee sat untouched beside me. It had been two days. Only two days. Em had been stuffing me with cakes and home cooked meals as if scared I was going to fade away, while I would catch Sam looking at me as if searching for something but was failing to find it. And Brady, even my only friend Brady was skirting around me like he was afraid to say the wrong thing.

As I sat watching I spotted three figures emerging from the trees, their shorts lying low on their hips leaving little to the imagination. I had been watching, just as they had all been watching me. They all disappeared into the trees in groups of three of fours and would return hours later. It was a never ending circle- when one group got up from the table another would replace them. No one ever mentioned it, but I noticed.

And they all moved in sync, it was almost unnerving. The way they all regarded Emily like their mother but sometimes when they returned from wherever they disappeared to they could barely look at her and sensing this she seemed to trip over her speech and drop things more than normal. Everyone regarded Claire with the same brotherly affection but when Quil arrived they would all sink into the background, it was almost as if they could read each others minds. It was damn infuriating and I just couldn't get my head around it.

Ever since my confession to Paul in the confinement of that claustrophobic, stupid wood smelling truck they had all been shooting me careful smiles as if checking to make sure I was still sane. Despite my hatred for Paul it still felt a sharp stab on the back every time one of them would help out with the dishes or let me change the television channel whenever I wanted, it was like they were all just waiting for me to crack. When I saw Paul I was going to punch him and I mean really punch him, hard. I didn't care if all the bones in my hands broke, it would be worth it. The asshole.

Every time I entered a room the conversation would suspend in mid air and on the odd occasion that I tried to bring up Paul- even when I didn't scowl when mentioning him- their faces would become withdrawn and pinched as if suddenly tired. I didn't know where Paul was hiding or even if he was in the country but the whole house was on edge as if waiting for some time bomb to explode and I couldn't figure out why.

Wrapping my arms tighter against my stomach I watched as the distant figures halted briefly when they spotted me before continuing on their way as if it was totally normal to come out of the woods half naked. Tucking my hair behind my ears I tried to keep my face neutral.

"Anna!" Embry exclaimed, his face was happy. Too happy. I stiffened as he scooped me up into his arms, his warm skin almost burning mine.

"What were you guys doing?" I mumbled as I stumbled backwards to regain my personal space. Seth and Jared exchanged a quick glance, they had kept their distance from me like I had asked. It was finally beginning to register in the ape's minds that I actually quite liked my personal space unlike the majority of the La Push population.

"Playing baseball," Seth shrugged as he went to brush by me. I almost laughed. Almost. I wasn't the smartest person around but I wasn't totally thick either.

"With no bat? And only three people?"

"Eh I-" Jared scratched at the back of his neck with discomfort as I glared at them all. Lucky for them at that exact moment Claire ran out of the back door with a pink tutu on. My throat dried up suddenly as I tensed. No.

"Anna! Watch this." My eyes swivelled to their of their own accord to her tiny figure. Claire stretched up onto her tip toes and extended her hands upwards as she twirled around. Her arms weren't extended enough and her fingers were splayed too far apart for the move to be right but I bit down hard on my tongue to stop the word vomit from splaying everywhere. Embry was watching me with a frown on his face. Realising how intently I was watching Claire I ducked my head trying to stop my leg from bouncing up and down.

"Brilliant. Isn't she?" Quil's voice was low in my ear. Screaming out a curse I flinched backwards at his close proximity.

"Will you never understand the concept of personal space?" I muttered abruptly as I stood up. Claire was swaying her hands from side to side with a grin painted upon her face, her stance was too awkward to be considered graceful. A shiver ran down the length of my spine as I realised how lost she was in the moment. I remembered that feeling well. Not really seeing the faces of those around you, just putting all your emotions into that one movement to make it as flawless as possible. I tried to shake the thought from my head.

"We're doing the Nutcracker at ballet," Claire's movements halted suddenly as she turned to stare up at me, "come and see me perform? Please Anna?"

"I-I have to go," I muttered quickly already stumbling away, "stuff to do-"

Jared's hand caught my arm as I stumbled down the porch step. I felt claustrophobic, there wasn't enough air to breath. I felt the intensity of everyone's stares on my retreating figure. Even little Claire was watching me curiously. Maybe they were all right. Maybe it would only be a number of days until I finally cracked.

"Anna!" someone called after me. Not turning around I tried to keep my pace even, tried not to look out of my depth.

"Tell Emily I'll be back in time to help prepare dinner," I muttered quietly as a slight spit of rain started to fall around me. Only when I rounded the corner did I allow myself to gasp for breath. Trying to hold it together I stumbled into the tress my head filled with images of Claire jumping around the garden creating music even without there being any. Once inside the trees I slid down a tree trunk, my head thumping loudly.

Everything was so freeking loud. I was used to the drunks screaming and the pounding music in the middle of the night in Seattle but the high pitched screaming of the birds and the crunching of the leaves as people walked seemed so much louder. I had to reign in my emotions before I headed back, I couldn't let them all see my weakness. For a moment I wished Paul was with me. Shouting at me. Staring at me. I didn't care. I just felt this aching need within me to brush my arm against his or see his scowling face. It was pathetic. Completely and utterly pathetic, yet strangely enough the thought comforted me. Damn Paul Meraz. Damn him.

I stiffened as the sound of voices reached me. Inching forwards I held my breath as I listened.

"She looked liked she'd seen a ghost. And not a nice one either" It was Seth's voice. Definitely Seth. Kneeling forwards I crawled closer. Hiding behind a wide tree trunk I watched as Quil and Seth stood in the middle of a tiny clearing their heads cocked slightly to the side as if listening for something.

"I wish she had a filter though," Quil's voice was hard and a guilty feeling instantly wormed itself inside of me, "Did you see Claire's face when she just left? She was crushed."

What the hell were they doing? In the middle of the woods? I stiffened as a cold wind flapped my unruly hair around in the breeze. Seth's face scrunched up as if he could smell something bad but he soon dismissed it as he turned to face Quil again.

"I know," he shrugged almost hopelessly, "but she's been through some shit. Paul's doing his best to block it from us but he cant hide everything."

My face scrunched itself up in confusion . Block it? Were they going to say where Paul was hiding? I hoped so. My fists twitched in anticipation. I could not wait to hit him. I had never wanted to hit someone so much in my life. He fucking deserved it.

"Yeah well surely she cant have been through as much shit as Paul," Quil murmured almost to himself, "She hates him and he cant keep his mouth shut for a second. They're going to kill each other before they ever get together. I don't see how a relationship is even possible between them. Fate has a really messed up sense of humour."

"Don't joke," Seth's voice was nearly a hiss and I almost fell back in shock, "we don't want another Emily. That almost pushed Sam to the point of self destruction and I have a feeling if Paul even accidentally hugged Anna too hard he would never be able to live with himself."

I bit down hard on my lip to stop myself from crying out. I knew it. I bloody well knew it! No bear had ever existed. My stomach twisted as I felt vomit rise in my throat. Sam had disfigured my sisters face. Her scars flashed in my mind. Seth knew about it, they all did, and no one had ever told anyone. I was ready to launch myself at them in blind rage when I heard a low growl. My back was suddenly ridged as I watched a creature emerge from the undergrowth.

A scream caught in my throat. At first all I drunk in was the shiny black fur and the sharp brown eyes. Then its size, bigger than any normal animal. It was like something out of a horror movie. Its mouth was hanging open almost in a lazy grin but all I could focus on were the sharp teeth that seemed to glisten menacingly in the slight sunlight. Only when a memory of Claire cuddling her toy hit me did I realise just what the creature was. A wolf. A horrifying, meat eating wolf. My whole body shook in fear.

I realised Seth and Quil weren't moving. Maybe they were in shock? My eyes darted to the small grin on Seth's face and the hard edge of Quil's. I realised they weren't cowering in fear but instead they seemed to be….looking at the wolf as if it was trying to tell them something? Maybe I really did belong in a mental hospital. Maybe my mother was right. Maybe everyone was right.

"So I'll take the west side round near Kim's and Quil will take this side. The others will be around shortly," Seth's voice was calm. Not even a quiver. Maybe they belonged in the mental hospital too? I kept waiting for the wolf to leap at them and sink it's incisors into one of their necks. Realising I was holding my breath I edged backwards trying not to make any noise. The funny thing is, I swear I saw the wolf nod.

"What about leeches?" The wolf shook it's head although it's nostrils flared as if sniffing the air one last time. Glancing down I noticed all the mud which my jeans had soaked in. I wondered whether anyone was wondering where I was. Whether they would miss me if a wolf attacked me.

"And...Paul?" It was the first time Quil had spoken and he sounded almost hesitant. Paul? How an earth was Paul involved with the wolf? I was seriously beginning to wonder if I had still had the phone number of the pshyc ward I had stayed in. With Quil's words the wolf seemed to slump a little. I watched in fascination as it trotted away. Not five minutes later Sam appeared, hastily zipping up his shorts.

"As far as I can make out he's edging home. Slowly. But it's a start." Sam's voice was gruff and he stretched while he spoke almost as if trying to adjust to his own body.

My throat constricted as my eyes darted to Sam's brown eyes. Exactly like the wolf's. No. No way. Things like that were just not possible apart from in fairytales. And Em was no freeking Red Riding Hood.

"He'll be back," Quil's voice was certain but Seth looked doubtful as he shuffled from foot to foot almost in agitation.

"He cant stay away from her for long," Sam's voice was almost certain, "the snippets of his thoughts which I am managing to catch are always about her. He hates himself."

"Why not order him back?" Quil pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was confused.

"That wouldn't achieve anything," Sam sounded tired as he looked longingly at the edge of the forest, "he would be pissed off at me and he wouldn't have worked through all of his issues. He will not become a danger to Anna under my watch."

A low howl sounded in the distance causing Quil and Seth to share sharp looks.

"_Go_. Colin will be pissed if he has to patrol alone."

Hastily I looked away as Seth and Quil began to remove their shorts. Only when I heard a slight whine did I glance up. Stumbling backwards I stifled a scream as I saw two giant wolfs stand where Seth and Quil should have been.

Scrambling to my feet I ran as fast as I could ignoring my limp the whole time. Only when I fell into Em's kitchen did I register my flushed cheeks and my mud stained clothes. My whole body trembled with shock as I chewed down hard on my lip.

"Did you get dressed in the dark this morning?" Glancing up I looked into the gentle eyes of Brady as he shovelled food into his mouth. My eyes drunk in the sight of his cropped hair and overly large muscles. They then darted to Jared who had Kim sitting on his knee and then Embry. The clones. Suddenly it all made sense.

They were all wolfs. They were _all_ fucking wolfs!

I flinched as Sam burst through the door and captured Emily in a loving embrace. My palms began to sweat as I edged backwards out of the room. I was living in a house with monsters. Did Emily even know what her husband was? She must. My eyes flashed to the scars which jutted out the side of her face and then disappeared under the shirt that she wore. I gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying out as I hit my hip against the counter. Everything seemed to blur around me.

"Are you okay?" Embry's eyes were narrowed as he began to stand up. I wobbled slightly on my feet as Emily's eyes also turned on me.

"I-I think I'm going to be sick," I muttered hastily before I fled from the room. My life was so messed up.

_Thoughts? _


	10. Nightmares and Betrayals

_Hi, again. Once again thank you so much for the reviews, i seem to be on a role at the moment and your reviews just keep pushing me to write more. This is the third update in three days. Enjoy..._

Pressing my lips together to hold back a scream my eyes swept around the room in blind panic. Sweat clung to every particle of my skin. Claire grumbled contentedly in her sleep, I narrowed my eyes at the sleeping figure of Quil on the rocking chair beside her bed side. Was she even safe next to him? Holding my breath I tried to shake off my most recent nightmare as I crept out of bed. A shiver ran down the length of my spine. My stomach rumbled loudly reminding me that I had skipped dinner. And lunch. Avoiding everyone had been my main goal in life.

The bedroom door opened with a high pitched squeal as I squeezed through the tiny space and into the hallway. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I shuffled past Emily and Sam's bedroom until I reached the stairs. Once in the kitchen I headed straight for the coffee determined never to have to fall asleep again.

Ever since I had stumbled across those stupid monstrous creeps in the forest I had been plagued with thoughts of them tearing my skin apart bite by bite until I was left a quivering wreck who begged for death. I had been through a lot of shit in my life, more than most people could even begin to comprehend, but the whole wolf thing had rendered me speechless. How the hell was the average person supposed to deal with that? I thought about running to Seattle again. But Paul had been right. What the hell was I going to do when I got there? Get a job? I had no qualifications and a hell of a lot of personality issues. No one in their right mind would ever hire me. Gee, even I wouldn't hire me.

"Anna?"

My breath came out in a rush as I grabbed the nearest thing to me and stumbled backwards into the counter. My stomach twisted as I gritted my teeth prepared to fight. I had never been jumpy, ever. La Push was seriously fucking with my nervous system as well as my emotions.

"You really think you would be able to hurt me with a wooden spoon?" Brady's childish laughter engulfed the surrounding kitchen and I immediately relaxed until he flicked the light on. He was just the same as all of them. His muscles and sarcastic smirk seemed to glare me in the face. I couldn't trust him, the thought seemed to cause an unexpected ache in my chest.

"I could try," I mumbled still branding my make shift weapon, "at least the spoon would break instead of my freeking hand." Of course. That was why they were all so hard. They had to be able to survive in the wilderness after all. I was stupid. So very, very stupid. I should have figured it out sooner.

"I've hardly seen you these past few days. Where have you been?" I hissed as Brady took a step closer to me his voice cautious. The icy wind coming in through the window seemed to chill me to the heart.

"Don't touch me," I spat as he took another step closer. Brady raised his eyebrows but took a small step backwards as he raised his eyebrows. I wondered briefly what his wolf form would look like. I couldn't imagine him running through the forest ripping animals apart limb by limb. He seemed far too kind. But then again looks could be deceiving, I had learnt that over the years. The world was more messed up than even I could comprehend.

"What is wrong with you? Where'd the bitchy Anna go?" His tone was almost mocking causing me to tighten my hands into fists. How dare he?

"Oh she's still in here," I snarled, "you pretentious asshole."

"There we go," he smirked heading towards the fridge with lazy strides, "that's the Anna I know and love." My breath caught in my throat at his relaxed voice. How could he pretend to be so normal? I knew how hard it was to live a lie, how hard it was to pretend to be someone you weren't, which was why I had turned into the bitch I had become. He just seemed so…normal. So friendly. So Brady.

"You wont love me when I find where to buy a shit load of silver bullets," I muttered under my breath. Brady stiffened before he turned to face me a curious expression painted upon his face. I dug my nails into the palm of my hands. I really had to learn to control the word vomit problem I seemed to have developed.

"What did you say?" he frowned taking another step towards me. I backed up against the counter wondering why the hell I hadn't just stayed in my warm, comfortable bed. At least I had been safe there. Well, partially safe despite the oversized wolf sleeping in the rocking chair beside my tiny niece.

"Nothing," I shrugged trying to smile slightly to cover up my stupid fears, "just that if you don't regard my personal space I will gouge your eyes out with the spoon that you don't seem to be afraid of."

"What is _really_ wrong with you?" I tensed up as he reached to tuck one of my curls behind my ear. His warmth reminded me of the fleeting moments that Paul had touched me. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest. Paul was gone. Gone! Maybe Brady wasn't the only one having acceptance issues.

"Let's be honest?" I laughed dryly, "what is not wrong with me?"

"Very true," he muttered as I took yet another cautious step away from him, "but there's something else going on. Almost as if you know…" he trailed off suddenly as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. His face looked pained.

"Almost as if I know what?" I probed insistently. Was he going to tell me? I felt very alone and exposed in the cramped room. It would be so easy for him to snap my neck in half.

"Nothing," Brady stared openly at me, "Just one minute I think I have you figured out and then you go all weird and freaky again."

"Weird. Freaky," I pondered the words in my head, "I've been called much worse by nicer people. Don't flatter yourself by thinking your opinion matters to me. And maybe, just maybe I don't want to be an open book like the majority of the La Push population. Maybe I like giving people a challenge."

"Your definitely a challenge," he muttered under his breath as he took a swig of orange juice straight from the carton. I wrinkled my nose up in disgust.

"Why do you care so much?" I wondered aloud, "why do you all care so much?"

I was used to being watched, to being under surveillance. But I wasn't used to being cared for. To people trying to get me to communicate with them instead of giving up like most of my old friends had. It was unsettling. Honestly I much preferred the role of the quiet, damaged bitch that the unruly little girl. People in La Push were too observant for their own good. I felt unusually exposed. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one little bit.

"Because," Brady shrugged, "it may shock you to actually hear this. But I like you when your not avoiding me or glaring at me. And as for the other guys we always protect our own."

"But I am nothing like you," I threw my hands up with exasperation, "I am nothing like you and your creepy friends. I don't want to be like you. Why is that so hard to drum into your thick skull? As soon as my mother returns from her trip I am gone. I don't belong here."

"We both know that's not true," Brady looked down at me almost pityingly, "However much you want to deny it you feel some attachment to this place. To us-"

"Are you high?" I interrupted shrilly, "Or clinically insane?"

"I thought that was you," Brady muttered under his breath. But I heard him. I felt like I had been punched repeatedly in the stomach. The kitchen seemed to blur around me.

"I'd rather be clinically insane than an ass," I grumbled trying to push by him. He caught my hand in his as I drove it towards him in anger. He had pushed me too far.

"Don't," his voice was soft, "you'll hurt yourself."

"I. Don't. Care," I spoke through gritted teeth trying to detangle myself from his grasp. Upstairs I heard someone move around but I ignored them, all I saw was red. A dangerous, bloody red. I had never been so angry, ever. Betrayal drowned my blood.

"I didn't mean it," Brady's voice was almost frantic as he tried to calm me down, "That was totally out of line. I am _so_ sorry."

"Stop lying!" I cried out in surprise as Brady let go of my hand and allowed me to drive my fists into his chest over and over again. Tears stung at the corner of my eyes but I pushed them backwards. I hated him. I hated them all. Insistent I kept driving my hands into his chest ignoring the stinging sensation in my fists.

"Anna. _Anna_!"

Warm hands grabbed me from behind pulling me off a trembling Brady. I lashed out at the surrounding air as arms snaked around my waist.

"Stop it!"

I would have recognised that stupid, heart wrenching voice anywhere. My thoughts flashed back to the slam of the truck door as he left me. Alone. Turning I glared up into his stormy black eyes. I cursed inwardly as I noticed how tired he looked. Good. He deserved to be tired.

"You told them all," I seethed. He glanced down at me his face seeming to break under the weight of my words.

"I tried not to," his voice was so careful. I didn't want him to be careful. I wanted him to shout back. I wanted him to hate me. I wanted back the Paul I knew.

"You told them all," I repeated all of the strength fading from my voice. Paul let me hit him. He let me hit him over and over again. I sucked in a shocked breath as he smoothed down my hair while I continued to hit him. I remembered the sensation of my heart crippling only a few days earlier.

"I hate you," I told him honestly.

"I know," his familiar voice seeped into my bloodstream until I wasn't able to think clearly. I really did hate him, I wasn't lying. But with the feel of his warmth so close to me and the sensation of his calloused hand in my hair I lost grip on the tiny amount of composure that I had desperately been trying to hold onto.

Paul stiffened as I threw myself into his arms my tears soaking his bare chest. I just wanted him to hold me.

"Sssh," he soothed, "everything is going to be okay. I promise."

"Don't lie to me," I whispered looking up at him through my tears. I had never noticed how beautiful he was before. My breath came out in a rush as he pulled me carefully up into his arms as if I was a breakable china doll.

"I'm working on it," Paul pressed his lips into a line as he pressed them to my hair, "I promise. I'm working on it. But this trust thing works both ways."

"I don't trust anymore," I whispered into his chest realising we had an audience. Brady's shallow breaths seemed suddenly loud. And I could hear Sam and Emily's muttered conversation from the doorway.

"I promise to change that too," Paul's voice was so sincere that I almost believed him. But then I remembered what he was. What they all were. I swallowed the bile in my throat.

"Don't keep promises you cant keep Paul," I whispered softly letting my eyes flutter closed as I lay in the arms of a monster. My monster. That was my last thought as I fell asleep for the first time in what seemed like days.

I was lost.

_Thoughts?_


	11. Baby steps and Threats

_Once again thank you all so much for all your reviews. As requested here is a chapter from Paul's POV. Enjoy.._

Holding her close to my chest I inhaled the familiar earthy scent that clung to her hair as I listened to her steady breathing. She looked so damn tired, the dark circles under her eyes had grown in my absence and the shirt she wore seemed to drown her tiny frame. So fragile. So fucking fragile, I could crush her so easily. All it would take is one flick of the wrist or accidentally squeezing her too tight when hugging her.

"Did you even feed her while I was gone?" I spat turning my glare upon Emily. Sam instantly growled under his breath as Emily's eyes stayed fixated on the tiny girl in my arms. Em looked defeated, an expression that seemed foreign on her face. I gripped Anna closer to me as she shifted in her sleep, her mumblings so quiet that even my advanced hearing couldn't pick up what she was saying. I wished more than anything in the world that I knew what she was thinking, whether she would ever forgive me for letting her secret leak.

"Of course I have," Emily's cold voice matched mine carefully, "you're the one that ran away. Left her alone in the middle of fucking nowhere. She could have gotten into a car crash or driven to Seattle and then I would have never seen her again. You would never have seen her again. What the hell were you thinking?"

My jaw slackened with each word Emily spoke and Sam's sharp eyes turned to stare at his wife in shock. I had never heard Emily curse, ever. Anna had the whole house in turmoil, even the ever stable Brady had lost control for a split second in her presence. Everyone was going crazy.

"I was going to hurt her," I spoke through gritted teeth, my voice coming out as a hiss, "I was so close. So close to phasing. I could of killed her Em. I almost killed her! I'd rather you hated me than she be dead."

I had lost control. All I could picture were guys in white coats prodding her, treating her like an object rather than the fascinating person that she really is. She would have been so alone, staring at those four walls. No wonder she was such a bitch. People had hurt her. I had hurt her. Everything was so fucked up.

"I don't hate you," Emily sunk back into Sam's outstretched arms as she surveyed me carefully, "but you are hurting her. When Brady found her that day it was like her whole being had just filtered away and I was staring at a ghost. You have to learn to control yourself. Anna is….Anna is troubled."

"Troubled?" I laughed darkly causing Anna to whimper in her sleep, "Anna is not just troubled. Something has _destroyed_ her. She is a bitch. She is a train wreck. And I don't know how to fix it. I am not her match. She should be with Brady or Embry. _Not_ me. They would be able to withstand her insults, to calm her down. But she just gets me so fucking worked up and then I get angry, mostly at myself rather than her but I cant control it Em and if I stay around I _will _hurt her, it is only a matter of time."

"Everything happens for a reason," Sam's calm voice sent trembles throughout my body. I was not in the mood for his wise alpha shit. I just wanted him to punish me, to make me feel the pain that I had caused Anna to feel. Emily shot him a sharp look.

"Look!" I exclaimed gesturing at my trembling body, "_Look_. You are making me angry and even though she's still in my arms the wolf is surfacing. When Jared's angry and Kim's in his arms he calms down. And when Emily's in yours-"

"Not everything is black and white Paul," Emily whispered her hand reaching up almost without conscious thought to trace the familiar shape of her scars. I winced. That was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I didn't want to maim Anna, to ruin her beautiful face. I wouldn't never, ever forgive myself. I would rather die than hurt her.

"Do you love her?" I avoided Sam's eyes as he asked the simple question. Of course I fucking loved her. I loved the way she smiled at Claire's antics when she thought no one was watching and the way she rolled her eyes at dinner when the pack fought over the last piece of food. I loved the way her hair glinted when she sat in the sun and the way she chewed her bottom lip when she was frustrated or nervous. I loved her sarcastic laugh and her stupid jokes.

But I hated the way she pushed me away. The way her eyes seemed to darken when she glared at me and the evident disgust on her face when I accidentally touched her. I wanted to roar at her when she walked away from Claire without answering the little girl's questions. And I absolutely loathed the way she would disappear for hours on end leaving me to wonder if she would ever come back home.

"Sometimes," I murmured as I glanced down at Anna sleeping in my arms. I wound one of her curls around my finger as I tried to drink in every line on her forehead, every slight bruise on her arm, every curve on her body. I wanted to commit her every feature to memory.

"The imprint may make us notice the ones we love, the one person we are destined to be with but that is _all_ it does is. Make us notice. _You_ have fallen in love with her of your own accord," Sam smiled nauseatingly down at Emily as he spoke, "but you will only feel complete when she returns your love. You need to help her, you have to remind her how to love again. And then maybe we'll get a glimpse of the real Anna, the Anna that Emily has told me so much about but despite how hard I look I cant find under her glare."

"I-I don't know how," I murmured as Anna snuggled into my chest. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, so innocent. But in the same second I missed her fire and intelligence that was always present when she was awake.

"You need to get her to open up to you-" Emily began.

"Why cant you just tell me what happened to her? What made her this way?"

"That is her decision to make. If I disregard her wishes she will hate both of us. Be her friend," Emily smiled slightly again, "and learn control because if you hurt my sister I swear to God I will hunt you down and tear you apart limb by limb. With the help of Sam of course."

"Not if I kill myself first," I murmured under my breath. I had begun to realise how much she meant to me while I had been running. I missed being in close proximity to her, to being able to make sure she was safe. I needed Anna more than I needed air to breath. She was quickly becoming me everything.

"I think its time we went to sleep. Hopefully Anna will feel better after a good nights sleep _in bed_," Sam emphasised his last words as he looked pointedly at my arms where Anna lay asleep.

"She's not going anywhere," I growled lowly, "I only just got her back." The thought of ever letting her go again created a sharp pain in my heart. I just needed to hold her, to watch over her like I should have done in the first place. I wanted to make everything right. I wanted to be a good imprint. A loving imprint.

"Paul-" Sam began but Emily kissed him lightly on the lips, silencing him. I envied their effortless relationship, how happy they both were. I could never imagine Anna and I like that, it was hard to imagine a world where she would smile at me never mind kiss me.

"Leave him alone," Emily's voice was soft as she hugged Sam's side, "I'm sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to still be holding her in his arms when she wakes up." I smirked as I listened to Sam's low laughter as he chased Emily up the stairs. I flinched at the bang of their bedroom door. And then we were alone. I sighed with satisfaction. Finally, alone.

Carefully I lay backwards, trying not to wake Anna as I moulded her into my side. Wrapping my arms around her back I gently pulled her closer to me and pressed my lips to her head as I traced her jaw with my fingertip. She was so damn beautiful.

And I was determined to make her laugh. I was determined for her to shuffle closer to me when fully awake and of her own free will. I was determined that one day I would get the kiss that seemed unlikely. I was determined to make her happy. As long as she was happy, I would be too.

"Baby steps," I murmured into the darkness, "Baby steps."

For that moment everything was perfect. Both of us wrapped in each others embrace and for one tiny second not fighting the imprint. Bliss. Too bad only one of us were awake. Pushing that thought from my head I closed my eyes and let the soothing sound of Anna's breathing lull me into a deep sleep.

_Uhhmm I'm not entirely convinced with this chapter, my fingers would just not stop tying and I couldn't seem to cut anything out of it. Let me know your thoughts?_


	12. Apologies and Attractions

_Wow. Over two hundred reviews, that is insane, thank you all so much. Your reviews are what inspire me to keep writing. Here is another chapter. Enjoy…_

My whole body was burning. Struggling I tried to cool down as the fire continued to engulf me. I couldn't feel my left arm. My eyes snapped open and quickly drunk in the familiar figure of Paul. His russet coloured skin contrasted starkly with my own pasty white skin and his face was way too close to mine, our cheeks were practically touching. Too warm.

"Paul," I growled trying to free my arm from underneath him and push him away simultaneously. Why did have to be so freaking heavy? He didn't move, not even one tiny measly inch. I groaned aloud. When had I become so weak?

"Paul," I spat, louder than before, "you're squashing me." I was sweating and my hair was stuck to my forehead with the heat. I made a mental note that if I ever slept with a wolf again to wear less clothes. I pursed my lips at the thought. I would never be sleeping with a wolf again. Ever. _Especially_ not Paul.

"PAUL!" I roared. Paul let out a curse as he rolled off the sofa and onto the floor with a loud thud. He sprang up instantly his dark eyes sharp as they flickered around the room. His fast reflexes unnerved me. The previous night suddenly engulfed me as an onslaught of memories. A shaking Brady. Me crying? Paul appearing. I swallowed loudly. Just fucking perfect. They were going to think I was even more insane.

"Anna?" Paul's voice was gruff as if he hadn't quite woken up despite his stiff posture. Wiping the sweat from my forehead I glared at him.

"You were squashing me," I muttered as I tried to sneakily stretch out my bad leg.

"Shit," he reached round to rub the back of his neck as he continued to stare at me, "I didn't hurt you did I?" I narrowed my eyes at him as he took a small step forwards. My back ached like hell and the familiar sharp pain engulfed my leg as I stretched it but that was nothing unusual. I was just my usual messed up self.

"Apart from not being able to breath for a whole of fifty seconds I am perfectly fine now," I smirked in satisfaction as Paul's face paled a little beneath his russet skin. My eyes flickered to his bare chest that had been pressed up against me all night and his rough hands that had held me close to him. A shiver ran up the length of my spine. I had not enjoyed sleeping with Paul. I had not! Well...maybe just a little. It was the first decent nights sleep I had experienced in months. Not that I would ever tell him that.

"You. Couldn't. Breath?" Paul was staring intently at a spot above my head as if trying to control himself, I watched in fascination as he bit down hard on his bottom lip creating a small red mark.

"I was joking Paul," I rolled my eyes as I reached up to flatten my unruly hair, "would you care to tell me why the hell I woke up on the couch sleeping beside _you_ of all people? Isn't it mandatory to take a girl out to dinner before you lure her into bed?" Paul's eyes widened with every word until he was shuffling from foot to foot almost like a little boy being caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You want to go out to dinner with me?"

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. My eyes skirted over his hopeful expression and the strange glint to his dark eyes. Truthfully he scared me. No, fucking terrified me. Never had anyone been so attentive towards me before, so eager to please me. I wanted to know he wanted, what was in it for him. There was always a catch. Always.

"I would rather eat a snail," I told him truthfully as Claire's laughter floated down the stairs. Sitting up straighter I smoothed down my hair again in a pitiful attempt at seeming presentable.

"How about we have pancakes instead?" Paul smirked as I straightened my tank top. He dug his hands deep in his shorts pockets as he leant against the wall. I had to admit if he never opened his mouth, I could understand why some girls would find him semi attractive. I blinked away the thought.

"You can cook?" I blurted in surprise as I hugged my knees tightly to my chest. I couldn't imagine him as the cooking type. He seemed to portray the alpha male, someone who would want someone to cook for him rather than cook himself.

"I can," he shrugged as if it was nothing, "but I didn't say I would make the pancakes, you just assumed. Emily normally makes a batch in the morning." I couldn't stop a small bubble of laughter from escaping my mouth, Paul's smirk widened at my response.

"Maybe I'll have a few," I contemplated as I stood up. The pain in my leg took me by surprise, trying to keep my face neutral I took a tentative step forwards. It hadn't been that bad in a while. Paul frowned as I sucked in a sharp breath and fell back onto the couch.

"In fact," I tried to smile brightly, "maybe I'll just skip breakfast. Not feeling that hungry. Besides watching you eat food normally makes me nauseous. Did your mother never teach you manners?"

"I have manners," he smiled softly but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His eyes appraised me as I leant back against the couch until they finally rested on my outstretched leg. Trying not to wince I swung it backwards and forwards in a desperate attempt to seem normal.

"Are you okay?" I flinched away from his outstretched hand. His eyes narrowed as he tried again.

"Once again Paul. Personal space," I breathed shuffling away from him as he sat down beside me. Holding my breath I tried not to breath in his earthy smell that often made me dizzy. The power he was beginning to have over me was disconcerting. I mean the guy was a freeking wolf, not that I was ever going to let go that I knew. I was scared of the outcome of that conversation, if it ever happened.

"You may or may have not noticed that I never regard people's personal space especially when it comes to _you_," he leaned forwards, his breath warm on my face. Grabbing the arm of the sofa I let my nails sink into the worn material as I continued to shuffle backwards suddenly feeling suffocated.

"And why is that?" I whispered my voice strained. Claire's squeals were becoming louder and I could hear people moving around in Em's room. If only they would hurry the hell up. Being stuck in a room with Paul was probably going to make the list of my top ten hellish experiences.

"I don't know," I ground my teeth together as he reached out to capture a strand of my hair between his clumsy fingers, "you fascinate me. I never know what you're going to do next," I breathed out a sigh of relief as he let my hair fall, "but however hard it may be. I am going to do things right. Be a gentlemen-"

"A gentleman?" I scoffed cautiously drawing my legs up to my chest again, "I didn't even know that word was in your vocabulary. Gentlemen don't run around half naked showing off their impressive muscles and come home covered in dirt-"

"You think my muscles are impressive?" his grin blinded me. I clamped my lips together in horror as I realised what I had said. Stupid, stupid Anna. I really needed to learn to control my word vomit problem, it was getting out of hand. He just made me so damn nervous, he made me feel all jittery and flushed. I was the bitch. What the hell was happening to me?

"N-No," I scoffed, "you need to go and get your ears checked out, or maybe your big ego is finally taking over. It was only a matter of time." I ducked my head so he could not see the slight blush creep up my neck. I never blushed. He jolted my leg as he moved closer to me causing me to let out a shallow hiss.

"Sure sweetheart," his smirk was beginning to piss me off immensely, "I know what I heard. You really have to stop lying to yourself."

"BRADY!" I cried seeing him walk by the doorway. I was desperate for some sort of interference. It was only when he turned to face me, his face strangely composed that once again the events of the previous night flooded back. My blush grew brighter.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his eyebrows raised. I watched as he took in my bed head, my flushed face and Paul's close proximity to me- his eyes widened more with every passing second.

"Help," I mouthed while Paul regarded Brady with an eerily calm expression. I wondered what was with that?

"Eh," Brady scratched the back of his neck as if grasping the surrounding air for inspiration, "Em asked if I could look at her truck but I'm a bit stumped-"

"How the hell am I supposed to know what's wrong with the thing if you don't?" Paul snapped, surprising me, "you're the best mechanic in town since Jake fled to be with that lee-" he trailed off as his eyes darted to mine. I shifted in my seat. What had he been about to say? Internally I planned on taking another trip to the woods. I had to find out what the hell was going on with the whole wolf thing.

"Err well.." I scowled at Brady as he struggled for words. Idiot. And they all thought I was the crazy one.

"Sometimes," I murmured cutting Brady off mid ramble, "a second opinion can help. You might notice something Brady didn't." Paul was gazing down at his arm where I realised I had rested my hand while I spoke. Snatching it back I turned to Brady with a glare.

"Sorry," he mouthed. I heard the distant sound of a door slamming shut and then raised voices. Great. The pack had arrived for breakfast.

"Anyone would think you were trying to get rid of me," Paul raised his eyebrows as I heard the sound of something smashing next door. Shit. Em was not going to be happy.

"Dammit," I smiled sourly, "you've figured out my master plan." Brady shook his head at my antics from across the room as Paul got to his feet.

"I wont be long," he whispered only for me to hear. My jaw slackened as I felt my heart skip a beat. My hormones were seriously getting out of control. I could not be attracted to Paul. I just couldn't. I didn't do relationships. Ever.

"Well I'll have to make my escape quick then wont I?" I joked lightly but Paul's facial expression changed in an instant. I gritted my teeth as Paul grabbed my arm too tightly and his dark eyes grew stormy. Brady was beside me in an instant.

"Paul," he warned his eyes flickering to my own placid expression. He was hurting me.

"Don't even joke," he hissed before letting my arm fall limply to my side. I watched in silence as Paul stalked from the room, his large frame hunched over and shaking slightly. Brady lightly traced the mark on my arm where I could clearly see the shape of Paul's fingers.

"Wear a long sleeved top," he whispered softly, "he'll hate himself for doing that and seeing evidence of it will just make everything so much worse."

"What was that?" my voice sounded strangely weak. Loud cursing from the kitchen followed by laughter made me feel tiny. Insignificant.

"That was Paul," Brady shrugged already making his way towards the door.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "for last night. I should have hit you. I just-" I sucked at apologies, I didn't make them often. But it was Brady, for some reason that meant something to me. I wondered briefly when that had begun to happen without me even noticing. I didn't care for people, it wasn't in my blood. I pushed people away.

"It was my fault," Brady smiled, "besides I'm over it already."

"I'll keep you a pancake," I promised as he hurried out of the door. I knew instantly that he was going to find Paul. My heart squeezed tightly at the thought.

While the coast was clear I pushed myself gingerly to my feet. Listening to make sure no one was coming down the stairs I limped painfully into the kitchen forcing the useless tears back as the fiery sensation continued to claw at my leg. Reaching the kitchen I slipped in and grabbed the packet of painkiller before anyone even registered my presence.

Without conscious thought my eyes were drawn to the window that looked out onto the edge of the woods. I saw Brady hurrying towards the trees and the distant sound of a howl made me flinch. I hoped he didn't run again. I realised suddenly that I felt lighter than I had in days, more free. And it was because of him. Because of that stupid ass and his sarcastic remarks. Tracing his fingerprints on my arm with my own fingers I found myself wondering what it would be like to hold his hand in my own.

Shaking my head I slumped down onto one of the free chairs awaiting Emily's arrival. Hopefully her pancakes would get the stupid oaf off my mind. Something needed to. Desperately.

_Thoughts? _


	13. Tattoos and Sleazeballs

_Once again thank you all so much for your reviews. Here's the next chapter. _

"It's just for a couple of hours," I watched as Em grabbed her sweater from the sofa and kissed Claire lightly on the head. The heavy bags under her eyes seemed to weigh her down and she looked too sad for a newlywed, I guessed most of that was probably down to me. Shaking my head I tugged at the sleeves of my top as I shivered.

No. No fucking way. I could not be left alone with a child. I could barely handle myself never mind another human being.

"No Em," I reached out to grab her, "I swear you'll come home and the house will be burnt to the ground or Claire will be in A and E or she'll decide she wants to become a bitch like her aunt. You wouldn't want that now, would you?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she laughed but it sounded forced. I could see the hesitancy in her eyes as they flickered between me and the clock that hung in the kitchen, "you'll be fine. You used to love kids."

"'Used' as in the past test. As in when dinosaurs roamed the planet. Responsibility and I are enemies, you should have figured that out by now. I thought you were smart." Claire skipped into the hallway clutching that god damned wolf to her chest, she never let it go even in her sleep. Maybe it was a way of gently easing her into the idea that her whole family were wolfs. Some heads up warning would have been nice for me too. I would have even made do with a freeking cuddly toy. It was almost as if they wanted Claire to figure out what they were, how come I had been given no clues?

"Bye." Desperate I tried to reach the door but it banged shut before I even had the chance to react. Wrenching it open I stepped out into the rain and hugged my body tight as the familiar truck sped towards the exit.

"Great. I'll just get my tattoo gun and vodka and I'll start the party then shall I?" My only answer was the ominous roar of the wind and the insistent slap of the rain as it hit the ground. Running a hand through my tangled hair I turned to face Claire who looked like she was contemplating the meaning of life. Why did my niece have to so damn smart and observant? I couldn't get stuck with someone who wanted to finger-paint. That would have been far too simple.

"Quil says tattoos are bad and that I should never get one," Claire chewed on her bottom lip as she gazed up with me with her innocent eyes. I wondered if I ever looked like she did, so hopeful and innocent no idea what kind of messed up world I would have to face.

"Yeah well Quil talks a lot of crap most of the time. The guy just doesn't want his innocent little Claire getting inked," I shrugged, I suppose I could see his point, "but when your old enough I'll take you to get one if you want?"

"Quil does not talk _crap_," she swirled the new word around in her mouth as if trying to familiarize herself with it, "but some tattoos are pretty. My teacher has one on her wrist. Do you have any?"

"That's for me to know and you never to find out," I stuck my tongue out at her childishly as I wondered what the hell I could possibly do to amuse her until Em appeared back. It was eerily quiet in the Uley household. No wolfs. No Paul- which was especially strange. I wondered briefly where they all were. Probably out hunting innocent animals and howling about their lack of masculinity or regards of personal space.

"You do! Don't you?" Claire grinned as she tugged at my sleeve, bringing me back to reality. Lifting her cautiously up into my arms I limped through to the kitchen and sat her on the counter. She swung her legs backwards and forth kicking the cupboard.

"Do you want cookies? Chocolate? What are you normally not allowed when Em and Sam are here?" I pulled open the refrigerator and cupboards, they were all strangely bare. Maybe Em had went to the grocery store? That would have explained her mad rush. The boys got all macho and infuriating when they were hungry.

"You're avoiding the question," Claire folded her arms across her chest as she pouted at me. Inwardly I laughed, that stupid pout wasn't got to work with me. She had all the boys trained for her every need, especially Quil. It would be good for her to experience a little rejection every now and again, it would prepare her for the real world where fairytales did not exist despite popular opinion.

"Maybe I am," I smirked as I reached out to tickle her sides, "but what's in it for me if I tell you?"

"I'll get Aunt Em to make chocolate cake with me which I know you love and I'll ask Paul to read me a book or a lot of books so that you don't have to avoid him all the time."

Damn. The girl was smart. My stomach rumbled appreciatively at the thought of the warm chocolate cake which I had lived for since being dumped at Em's. And being able to stretch my leg and talk to Brady or anyone for that matter without Paul breathing down my neck at every possible opportunity would be like heaven.

"Urgh you win," I told her as I pinched the bridge of her nose gently.

"So? Where is it?" she clapped her hands and bounced up in down in excitement. That was without sugar in her system. I suddenly realised why Em had hidden all the chocolate. Smart woman.

"Just below the waistband of my jeans where no one can see it unless I want them too," I smirked. She didn't give me a chance to react as her tiny fingers began to push down the waistband on my jeans. I lifted up the side of my tank top so she could see better.

"Is that-" she began her voice almost disbelieving.

"Hey. What are you doing?" a deep voice called. Taking a jump back I pulled up my jeans and pushed Claire's insistent hand away as all the breath left me in a rush. I did not like to be snuck up on. Sneaking up on me was like interrupting a grizzly in the middle of a meal. I did not like it one little bit.

"Anna was showing me her tattoo," Claire squealed as she jumped off the counter and into Paul's arms. I bit back a laugh as Claire climbed around onto his back like I had seen her do with so many of the guys but Paul's eyes remained on me, never faltering. I pressed my lips into a thing line. Traitor.

"You have a tattoo?" he murmured, the curiosity evident in his voice. Clenching the counter with both hands I turned to glare at him as I regained control of my breathing.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" I hissed. He tilted his head to the side for a moment as if actually contemplating my question. Claire giggled into his neck as I tapped my foot impatiently.

"Actually no," he shrugged as he skirted by me to open the refrigerator, "I don't think anyone knocks in La Push. Everyone knows everyone and if you don't want someone in your house, lock the damn door."

"This place is seriously whack," I laughed bitterly, "No regards for personal space, lack of common courtesy, the majority of the population look like their on steroids and eat like wolfs. Anything else I should add to that list? Beside stalking of course…you already have that covered."

"You forgot that we're all insanely good looking, what with our impressive muscles and all." I glowered at him, I knew he would throw that back in my face.

"Big headed asshole," I muttered under my breath. Pushing my hair back from my face I tried to ignore the hint of jealousy that seeped into my blood as Claire tugged on his peculiar looking ears.

"I'll have you know my head is a completely normal size," Paul rolled his eyes as Claire continued to giggle, "now what is this I hear about a tattoo?"

"Nothing," I snapped, "you heard absolutely nothing about a tattoo."

Paul frowned as he continued to gaze into the fridge. Glancing outside into the rain I felt my heart sink. The house was becoming more claustrophobic by the second, Paul seemed to swallow the air in every room that he was ever in with me. It was beginning to get a tad annoying. Without conscious thought I rubbed the spot where Paul had grabbed me the previous day. He winced.

"I was thinking about heading to the diner," his attempt to keep his tone light made me scowl, "you girls want to join me?"

"Yes!" Claire screamed drowning out my incoherent mumblings.

"You both go ahead," I insisted, "It would be nice to have the afternoon to myself without overly large gorillas or annoying little girls." I felt instantly crappy as Claire's face fell, her grip on Paul becoming slack. A sickening shiver ran up the length of my spine as Paul's eyes board into mine. His disappointment was like a sharp stab in the back. It surprised me,

"I-I mean.." I scrambled for words. Why did I have to be such an inconsiderate bitch all the time? She was a little girl. A little girl.

"I think what Anna is trying to say is that she is going to buy you a chocolate milkshake and fries for being such a _bitch_. Isn't that right Anna?"

Which was why twenty minutes later I found myself squished in a tiny booth with Claire beside me blabbering in my ear, the smell of grease lingering in the air. Apparently it didn't take long for her to forgive people. If only adult grudges disappeared as quickly, I would have a lot more friends.

Sighing I caught sight of myself in the window, I looked like a drowned rat. My hair was matted to my head and my tank top stuck to my body showing off my non existent curves, it didn't seem to stop Paul from staring though. I glared at him.

"At least smile a little," Paul whispered as he reached for the worn menu at the same time as I did. My hand tingled as his brushed mine.

"Prisoners don't normally smile," I snatched my hand back as I watched our server walk towards us. He looked awkward and gangly but the smirk he wore told me otherwise. I returned his smirk as his eyes openly skimmed over my wet attire and then to my face with a sense of cocky confidence.

"Hey there," he looked directly at me as he spoke, his white teeth shining in the manufactured light, "what can I get y'all? I'm Luke and I'll be your server today."

"Over here," Paul's voice was hard. Turning my eyes on him I watched the way he ran his eyes over Luke's frame in a matter of seconds as if he was sizing up an opponent. Luke's silent glare didn't quite match up to Paul's but he seemed to be putting a hell of a lot of effort into it. I shuffled restlessly in my seat while Claire pulled at a strand of my hair with fascination.

"Not that I am not loving this display of masculinity," I rolled my eyes, "but could we please order? I'm starved."

"Me too," Luke's eyes dropped to my chest, "me too, sweetheart." The endearment felt strange coming from someone's mouth other than Paul's. I clenched my hands in fists.

"The face is up here," I hissed as I tilted his head up to look into my eyes. He grinned and his tongue licked his bottom lip in a lazy manner. Paul coughed loudly and I could feel the table shake a little under my hands.

"I cant help but view the merchandize of a gorgeous girl," I recoiled a little as Luke leant closer to me. Claire's little hands stopped in my hair mid stroke.

"Back the hell off," Paul's low growl seemed to seep into my blood. Luke's head snapped up and I followed his gaze to a shaking Paul, his teeth bared in fury. I could almost see the wolf desperately trying to conquer him.

"Paul," I hissed, "_Paul_."

"You really need to control your boyfriend babe," Luke half smiled, "looks like he has some serious anger issues."

"Don't dare call her babe," Paul's voice had a new dangerous edge to it. I was suddenly seriously worried for the very near future of the sleazy Luke.

"Paul," I whispered gripping his hand in mine as he went to stand up, "calm the hell down. He's just a sleazeball. He's not worth it. And you're scaring Claire." Paul's eyes rested on our entangled hands and then to Claire who was cowering in the corner. I watched in fascination as his dilated pupils seemed to grow again and he breathed in and out. In and out. I felt my tense muscles relax and I let go of the breath I hadn't even known I was holding.

"Get us three chocolate milkshakes and three fries," I glanced at Paul, "make that four fries and a couple of burgers. Now I suggest you scram before Paul rips you apart limb by limb. Your choice."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as Luke scurried quickly across the dinner, slipping on the freshly cleaned floor as he went. I hissed with surprise as Claire launched herself onto my lap and buried her head in my chest. Avoiding Paul's burning gaze I awkwardly smoothed down Claire's hair caught unaware by her reaction.

"That man wasn't nice," her voice was small, a stark contrast to her normally bubbly personality. It amazed me that she had been scared by the harmless Luke rather than the trembling wolf that sat across from her.

"You've got that right," Paul murmured darkly. Glancing downwards I noticed one of my hands still entangled with his. My hand seemed to slot perfectly into his calloused, large one. His warmth seemed to spread throughout my body. Panicked I snatched my hand back instantly feeling colder.

"I thought he was cute," I shrugged as I hid my smile in Claire's hair.

"You thought _what_?" Paul erupted. I laughed as the whole diner turned to investigate the source of the outburst. Another negative to add to my list: no freaking privacy. Claire and I clung to each other as we both laughed. Paul's eyes narrowed.

"That was so not funny," he grumbled lowly.

"I thought it was quite funny. Didn't you Claire?" I tugged on one of her curls copying her earlier actions. She snuggled closer to me as she gazed innocently up at me from underneath her long eyelashes.

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically.

"You are so going to pay for that," Paul smirked. Kicking at him underneath the table I rolled my eyes.

"Bring it on," I matched his smirk, "bring it on."

_Thoughts?_

_Don't worry the bitchy dramatic Anna that we all know will be returning very, very soon. _

_Oh and can anyone guess what her tattoo is? _


	14. Confessions and Kisses

_I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. In all honesty I don't have a good excuse, apart from being constantly tired and stressed by exams that by the time I got around to writing I had nada inspiration. It has been a long month and I am sorry for the wait on all my stories. But I am back, hopefully I wont be disappearing again anytime soon. So enjoy…_

The first thing I noted in the remains of the daylight was Paul's tiny smirk as if he had some big secret that he was just bursting to tell me. Groaning, I stretched out my aching limbs as I sat up and glanced around the surprisingly clean truck. My spine stiffened as I noticed Paul's close proximity to me and Claire's suspicious absence from the backseat. Where the hell was she?

"I'm sorry," Paul didn't sound 'sorry' at all, "but you looked like you needed the sleep. Quil is looking after Claire inside."

Still trying to grasp onto the edge of consciousness I let out a yawn as my eyes flickered towards the comforting sight of Em's house in front of me and the large sweater that was draped across my body as if in an attempt to keep me warm. It was then I realised that Paul had been watching me the whole time. Sleep was something personal, something that left me in my most fragile state. The thought of Paul watching me made me stomach twist pleasantly in a way that I couldn't pin down and my cheeks heat up slightly. I pushed the feeling away. Stupid hormones.

"You know it is slightly creepy that you have sat watching me sleep this whole time. That is talking the whole stalker thing to a whole new, desperate level," I murmured in a desperate attempt to ditch my sleepiness and embrace my bitchiness before Paul sensed the uncertainty that always plagued me when I awoke.

"I don't seem to have any standards when it comes to you," he shrugged as his dark eyes glinted in the quickly fading sun. I squirmed in my seat as he reached carefully forwards to push a strand of hair away from my face. My heart clenched tightly in my chest. He was too damn nice at times, he made it so hard to hate him.

"What were you dreaming about?" his voice was so soft that at first I thought I hadn't heard him correctly. It wasn't like Paul to be so gentle, so quiet. It was not a side to him that I had witnessed and it unnerved me greatly.

"I don't dream," I confessed as I pushed his hand insistently away. I hated to admit to myself how much I had become to crave Paul's close proximity and his sarcastic remarks. And I didn't like it. I didn't like it one little bit. I was becoming too dependent. I reached for the door handle. A tingling sensation ran up the length of my arm as Paul gently grabbed it. I let out a shaky breath.

"Everyone dreams," he frowned. Inside Em's house a light flickered on in Claire and I's bedroom. Briefly I wondered how late it had gotten.

"Maybe once," I said surprising even myself with my answer. There was just something about Paul: his unexpected reactions and searching eyes that made me want to tell him everything. He was an ass, someone who shouldn't be trusted but yet I found myself doing exactly that. Despite how hard I had pushed him away, despite how much I had tried to shock him, he had always come back and I think that is what separated him from every other person I knew.

"What did you used to dream about?" I hugged my arms tight around my stomach as the words left his mouth. It was such a simple question, a question that many would have been able to answer without blinking. I used to be one of those people. A person who knew what I wanted without hesitation and determined to succeed. But that person had disappeared a long time ago.

"I-I-" Paul didn't cut in as I stumbled over my words, a fiery sensation clawed at my throat as if daring me to tell Paul everything, "I w-wanted to be a ballerina." In my mind I could clearly see the purple bruises covering my poor toes and the shining smiles of the audience as I danced without a care in the world. It was heaven.

"Did you get your dream?" Paul's hopeful voice seemed to tear at my insides, to steal the air from my lungs as I forced myself to look beyond the darkness that had consumed me for so long. Beyond the raw sobbing. Beyond the glaring white of hospital wards. Beyond the raised voices and never ending silences.

"I did at first," I smiled sadly, "When I was four I turned up at ballet class somehow already knowing my purpose in life, somehow knowing that I was destined to stand under those fucking manufactured yellow lights on a massive stage while people applauded me. Only once did I ever meet someone who understood my willingness to do anything to get that dream. H-her name was Poppy-" my voice trailed off as I swallowed sobs. Glancing downwards I registered Paul's hand entangled with my own. His warmth seemed to spread throughout me as his dark eyes regarded me so softly that I felt unworthy of his attention.

"We knew that the world of dance was a cruel one, you did not enter it with the inclination to meet your best friend. But I guess that's what we became," I furiously wiped at a tear with the back of my hand, "We moved up together: class after class. Then when it was time we went to auditions together. And then-"

"Stop," Paul's voice was ragged as if he couldn't bare to hear anymore, "Don't do this to yourself. It doesn't matter." The whole car shook as a furious wind howled outside. Overhead I could spot the grey clouds lying impatiently in wait.

"Of course it fucking matters," I snapped, "I got the part I had always dreamed of, the part that people fought for with a vengeance. _Me_! I was the person everyone was talking about, the new 'modern ballerina' that everyone wanted to interview. I was so wrapped up in my perfect little life that I forgot. I forgot about my best fucking friend. What kind of person does that?" my voice had become barely more than a whisper.

"Anna I-"

"It was the twenty fifth show after opening night when I fell. It was a routine lift, something which I boasted I could do blindfolded. All it took was for me to twist slightly the wrong way and then for my partner to stumble slightly for me to end up flat on my back, the impact shooting pain up my spine and then down my whole body. I realised I couldn't move, the whole audience was silent. And I was alone."

"Oh shit," Paul murmured under his breath as I paused to regain control of my emotions. I could remember the ghastly cries of the others around me while I just lay in silence, hoping it was all some terrible nightmare. Leaning back I closed my eyes briefly. I remembered the insistent cry of the ambulance as it weaved its way through the city to the hospital and the stinging sensation in my eyes as tears threatened to spill all over my face which was covered in costume make up. And then nothing. Nada. Fuck all. I blacked out.

"It was a spinal fracture, they told me which kind but I didn't really pay attention. Some cracked ribs, a broken leg. I was 'lucky'," I laughed darkly, "I had surgery, the worst thing about that was the feeling of knowing someone was going to be violating every part of my personal space and jabbing me with needles and crap. And then there was the back brace, I wasn't allowed to move from my bed for ten weeks. Round about the fourth week Poppy appeared," I gulped. The tension seemed to build within the truck. I focused on the sound of Paul's shallow breath as I clutched his hand tightly in my mine.

I could remember the day Poppy had entered the ward to visit vividly. Her skin had a slight yellow tinge to it, her face sagged and all of her bones seemed to stick out unnaturally, it had frightened me. She had seemed so fragile, as if I could have crushed her with just the flick of my finger. She was not the Poppy I had laughed with, danced with, fought with. I hardly even recognised her.

"She was sick," my voice sounded haunted even to my own ears, "She had cancer. Leukaemia to be exact."

"Anna," Paul sighed softly as he stroked routinely at my hair, "no wonder you're so messed up." My lips tiled up a little into a smirk at his comment.

"We cried together," I remember, "And then we forgot…for a while at least. We got tattoos, we had our first drink and we went out clubbing for the first time. In a sense we were almost alright but our fantasies had almost wiped out reality until we could barely see it. But then Poppy's hair started to fall out after chemotherapy and some days she was so ill that she couldn't get out of bed."

Paul trembled slightly as he held me in his arms. My tears soaked his bare chest as I pressed myself up against his warmth. He was my rock.

"The doctors told me there would be no long term side effects to my injury. They were wrong. Every time I tried to dance my leg would spasm in pain like it does almost every day now. Because I hadn't trained for months I was way too skinny and I had no stamina. I went to audition after audition and they turned me down again and again. Poppy was getting weaker and weaker. We smoked cigarettes on her back porch and laughed but her laughter was getting croaky, she got out of breath too quickly. I knew we didn't have long left and then-" A painful sob shook my whole body as I pulled myself away from Paul and curled myself into a ball as if to protect myself from harm. The wind seemed to whisper in my ear.

"That's enough," Paul reached for the handle, "Lets get you inside and get some food in you. This is upsetting you way too much and-"

"She asked me to kill her so she didn't have to die in some hospital that smelled of disinfectant," I whispered darkly, "a-and I said no. She shrugged it off like it was nothing. The next day she committed suicide. S-she didn't even say goodbye."

The silence that followed my confession was deafeningly loud. Paul pulled me tightly to him again as I scratched at my face. I remembered the sensation of my world crumbling around me, of the one person I had ever let in, leaving me. That was why I didn't trust people, that was why I didn't let them in. It hurt too damn much. We were all going to die, it was only a matter of when.

"You should never of had to go through that yourself," Paul's arms tightened around me as he whispered, "No one should ever go through that alone. I am so sorry. So freaking sorry." My throat tightened again as I looked up into Paul's eyes, my heart jumped as I noticed the glistening of unshed tears visible in them.

"I think Poppy would have liked you," I told him quietly, realising as I said it that it was true. He had been so perfect listening to me ramble on, letting me cry, for once not making any bitchy comments.

And then he had to go and ruin it.

Of course he did.

I didn't even register what was happening as his face inched closer to mine or the way in which his eyes darted to my lips.

"Thank you," his breath was warm on my face, "Thank you for telling me this."

My breath caught in my throat as Paul pressed his lips to mine, soft but demanding. At first I was numb but as he pressed his lips harder against mine fury bubbled within me and my heart seemed to crack just a little bit more.

"No. _No_!" I cried as I pushed him off me. I had exposed myself to him, stripped away my exterior and he had taken advantage of that. Scrambling away from him I pushed back another round of sobs as I searched for the door handle. A shot of pain engulfed my leg. I muttered a series of curses under my breath. Stupid leg. Stupid truck. Stupid Paul.

"_Wait_," I flinched away from Paul as he attempted to grab onto my arm, "I thought that was what you wanted. I thought you needed me. I thought-"

"You thought wrong," I hissed as I managed to push down the handle, "I wanted you to hug me, to listen to me. It wasn't a fucking invitation to stick your tongue down my throat. I thought you were different!"

Falling out of the truck I ignored my aching leg as I made it my purpose to get as far away from Paul as possible. Idiot. Why had I trusted him?

"_Wait_!" Paul called again, his voice laced with desperation, "Anna, I am so sorry. I am a gigantic ass, a horrible person. Just _please_ don't run again."

Ignoring him I pushed myself onwards. He didn't try to follow me. Only when I was a couple of miles away from the house did I collapse to the ground and pull out my phone. Spit of rain began to fall around me.

"Hello?" a gruff voice sounded. Clutching the phone tightly in my hand I pushed away the picture of Paul's devastated face and his insistent lips on mine.

"Brady?" my voice was weak, "Please can you come and get me? I want to get drunk."

_Thoughts?_

_Just to let you know I think only one person correctly guessed Anna's tattoo. I will reveal it in a later chapter. _

_Another question. Who all likes Brady? _


	15. Freedom and Disappointment

_Thanks you all so much for your reviews. Here we go with another chapter. _

"This is so fucking stupid not to mention illegal. And if Paul ever finds out then I am dead. No _worse_ than dead, he'll pummel me until every bone in my body is broken. He'll do that over and over again until-"

"Quit whining," I snapped interrupting Brady's insistent mumblings, "Live a little. Have a drink. Have fun. Or leave now." I embraced the burning feeling that engulfed my throat as I downed the shot in front of me. The drunken shouting and prominent smell of sweat that surrounded me felt like home to me, a place where I could handle myself. Away from La Push. Away from the stupid pretence I had been trying to keep up. And most importantly, away from Paul.

"But-" Brady began, his eyes seemed troubled as they flickered around the crowded bar. I smirked as someone brushed by me to get to the bar, their warm body pressing up against my own.

"There is no third option Brady," I snarled as I flagged the bartender down yet again, "Either suck it up or leave."

"I cant just leave," he reached up to run a hand through his almost non existent hair as if he was frustrated, "God only knows what you would do without me here watching you."

"Well then," I smiled brightly as I pushed a green coloured shot towards him, "Enjoy yourself." Brady frowned as he watched me down another shot, I could sense rather than see his nerves as he reached cautiously for his own shot before swallowing it quickly as if he was desperate for it to disappear. I grinned at him.

Several shots later I sat on Brady's knee as he reached almost eagerly for his own drink. He didn't seem to be effected at all where as the bar was beginning to blur slightly around me. I loved the feeling of being drunk. The feeling that I could do anything, that I was almost light enough to fly. Only when I was drunk could I face all the shit in my life because it was only then that it seemed less significant, less real.

"This stuff is a different colour," Brady said dubiously as he held tightly onto my waist to stop me from sliding off his knee and getting lost in the crowd. I smiled hazily as an older man winked at me from the other end of the bar.

"That is because it is stronger," I slurred, "You are not drunk. You have to be drunk!"

Brady winced as he drunk the offending drink. His breath was warm on my neck as he leant forward and brushed a strand of damp hair from my eyes. I shivered slightly.

"I think you're drunk enough for the both of us," he whispered in my ear like it was some big secret. Shaking my head from side to side I wound my arms around his neck as I joined in with his easy laughter.

"But not drunk enough!" I declared gripping him tightly, "Thank you f-for coming with me Brady. You are so nice to me. Why are you so nice to me?"

"Because I like you," he rolled his eyes dramatically as if that was the most obvious answer in the world. Frowning I shuffled around on his lap until I was searching in his soft eyes, so unlike Paul's stormy ones.

"But why?" I insisted with a burp, "Is it because I'm funny? And smart? And drop dead gorgeous?" I shook my hair out around me as a familiar song burst from the surrounding speakers. Alcohol made me brave. And stupid.

"All of the above," Brady declared as I nuzzled his neck. My mind drifted back to the night he had found me walking home in the dark and the night I had hurt him repeatedly with my fists. I wondered why the hell he stuck around, but I found myself glad that he had.

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" I whispered, my voice cracked slightly. I hid my face in his chest as I awaited his answer. Somehow Brady's opinion had become everything to me in that single moment.

"Only a little," he smiled again as he tilted my head up to look at him, "But most of the time it's in a good way. No one else I know would stand up to Paul," I flinched at his name, "Or tell Claire stories about mermaids and eat dessert before anything else. That's why we all love you." I felt slightly light headed as I reached blindly for another drink.

"We?" I repeated, "You're the only one who remotely likes me, never mind love. People don't love, they destroy each other. I've witnessed it." Brady hugged me protectively to him as another guy sidled too close for comfort. I appreciated the gesture.

"Then you obviously haven't been looking in the right direction," I could hear the slight smile in his voice but I did not raise my head, "Claire adores you, even Quil is a little put out by the way she follows you around and begs you to play with her. And Em worries constantly about you and makes masses of food, that's just her way of showing her love. And you may not notice it but Sam watches you carefully, he cares for you and he would murder anyone if they hurt you. And of course there is Paul-"

"Paul is an ass," I cut him off sharply as I tried to push away the raw feeling of Paul's lips on mine. The unusual twist in my stomach as he had leant in towards me. I sniffed slightly. Stupid Paul.

"But-" I could see that Brady was going to defend him. I had heard it all before. I knew how much he had changed since I had appeared, blah blah blah. I was sick of hearing people excuse him over and over again. I was too tired for excuses.

"Let's dance," I muttered sharply and pulled Brady to his feet. Ignoring the ache in my leg I downed yet another shot before leading Brady towards the crowded dance floor. He looked terrified as I squeezed past the throng of sweaty bodies and into the centre.

"I don't know how to dance!" Brady shouted above the music. Laughing I placed his hands lightly on my hips as I pressed my body close to him. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Everyone knows how to dance," I breathed as I tilted my head back, "It's easy. Just follow my lead."

Brady still looked dubious as I stretched up to place my arms around his neck. Closing my eyes I inhaled the scent of cheap perfume and listened to the sound of heavy breathing around me. My thoughts drifted to the many nights Poppy and I had pushed past the pain to dance the night away. I tried to unlock that part of myself. Almost subconsciously I began to move my hips from side to side as the best changed in the music. Using my hands I forcefully moved Brady's hips from side to side until he mimicked my movements. With my eyes still closed I pressed my body closer to Brady's as I stood on my tip toes and began to move my feet in time with the music.

"You're amazing," Brady's voice was so full of wonder that I could not help but let my eyes flicker open. I felt sweat trickle down my chest as I let my hips move faster from side to side. It was almost as natural as breathing.

"Make me spin," I murmured softly in Brady's ear. His grin was contagious as he lifted me slightly above the ground and began to turn in a circle. Around us the other dancers complained but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had always loved the sensation of being dizzy and lifted so high above everyone else that everything seemed so tiny. The cold air seemed to slap me in the face as we continued to spin and letting myself relax I let out a bark of laughter. I felt like I was flying.

"Thank you," I whispered as Brady placed me lightly back onto my own two feet. The music changed to a slower song. The perfect song for me.

"Anytime," Brady's smile matched mine, "Anytime."

"Now watch," I whispered.

Stepping backwards I let the surrounding music flow into my aching limbs as I stretched my arms above my head. Leaning backwards I extended my leg up into a slow kick and let my arms fall to my side. People moved aside in order to give me more room and I could feel Brady watching me, his eyes never leaving mine. Extending my limbs even more I tried to picture myself as a flower, blooming for the first time. Curving my arms I found my balance on one foot and pirouetted four times on the spot before grabbing a random bystander.

Hitching my leg around him I uncurled and curled my body in time with the music as we swayed. Moving around the dance floor I pointed my toes and changed my leading feet routinely as I had been trained to do. I felt free.

I moved from guy to guy. My heart pounded in my chest as I swayed closely with strangers and then danced alone with everyone's eyes on me. I had forgotten the fulfilled feeling that consumed my being as people admired me. Only when I once again found myself in Brady's arms did I let my fatigue began to show. I leant heavily against him, careful not to put any weight on my bad leg. He stroked my hair as I inhaled his comforting scent. He had been there for me, he had kept me safe and made me feel like I had worth. As he lifted me into his arms I reached forward and spontaneously placed my lips lightly on his without thinking.

"_Anna_!" Brady began to pull away in protest but I pushed him closer enjoying the feel of his soft lips on mine. But that was all there was: enjoyment. No spark. No churning in my stomach. No anxiety. He wasn't Paul. The thought was like a kick in the stomach.

"Thank you," I whispered again as I pulled away. I tried not to smile slightly as his eyes widened with obvious fear and he held me a little away from his warm chest.

"Anna I don't love you like that. You're my friend. I-" Putting a finger to his lips I cut him off as I let out a loud sigh. Around us couples were drifting off the dance floor while others sat at the bar alone, drowning their sorrows. I could sympathise with them.

"Don't worry," I forced out a laugh, "I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing apart from fondness, despite what I may have wanted. You are my best friend. That's it."

"Thank God for that," Brady breathed out a sigh of relief and I felt him relax underneath me. Laughing I snuggled back in against his chest as he began walking towards the exit.

"I don't want to go home," I murmured sleepily as rain drops began to fall on my exposed skin. Brady held me tighter as I shivered. If I turned up drunk and sweaty at Em's then there were going to be questions that I just didn't have the energy to answer. And most likely Paul would be waiting there for me. I had no clue how I was going to handle him when the time came.

"Don't worry," Brady soothed me as he walked, "My mum has a night shift at the hospital. I'll take the couch."

I began to protest but sleep seemed to drown me suddenly. The last thing I remember was the warmth of Brady's soft lips as he pressed them against my head. He was the best friend I could ever have wished for.

_Thoughts?_


	16. Hangovers and Realisations

_It has been entirely too long since I last updated and for that I am truly sorry, life had just been so hectic. On the other hand thank you so much for the consistent reviews despite my absence. Over three hundred! I cant quite believe it, it's insane. I promise not to leave so long between the next updates and also to those who read my other stories I also promise to update those soon now that the holidays is upon me. Now, enjoy…_

"My head," I whined as Brady slammed cupboard after cupboard shut, a permanent smirk etched upon his face. If he didn't stop making so much damn noise I was going to make sure it was impossible for him to have children, ever. I was never touching a drop of alcohol again. My mouth was as dry as sandpaper and my skin felt ragged. Alcohol was the devil.

"Is someone feeling a little hung-over?" Brady's voice was way too bright and cheery as if he was consistently trying to rub his soberness in my face. It wasn't fair. He'd had just as many shots as me, if not more. Groaning, I held my head in my hands as it continued to thump increasingly louder. My whole body was slumped on one of the wobbly kitchen chairs, my whole body felt drained of energy. Basically, I felt like shit.

"Fuck off Brady," I spat as I reached my fingers up to rub my aching temples. My unwashed hair was clinging to my face and I was sure I smelled like hell. I was positive that being run over by a bus would be less painful than what I was enduring. I would have to test that theory someday.

"So how did you sleep last night?" His tone was slightly softer as he placed a packet of painkillers and a glass of water in front of me. Eager I crammed two of the tiny pills in my mouth as I continued to glare at Brady. Stupid, entirely too awake Brady.

"Just peachy," I snapped in answer to his question, "I didn't hear you snore at all."

"And I didn't hear you get up to vomit three times either," he retorted easily. Clamping a hand over my mouth I tried to forget the hour I had lain on the biting cold tiled floors of his bathroom as I had thrown up again and again. Clenching and unclenching my fists I let my eyes flutter closed. Why did I always have to go over the top, hurting both myself and others in the process? It had to stop.

"Thank you for coming and checking on me," I croaked my eyes still closed remembering his unwavering presence always at my side. His comforting warmth and friendly worry that left me wondering how I had ever earned it. I didn't deserve him.

"Yeah well," even with my eyes closed I could picture his casual shrug, "I thought it was the best friends duty to hold your hair back while you lean over a toilet and vomit. You looked positively green. It was disgusting."

"Gee thanks," I laughed as I let my eyes open slowly, "That's what every girl wants to hear after she wakes up in bed with a man." An unusual warmth stroked my skin as the sun's heat streamed through the opened kitchen window, it reminded me entirely too much of Paul. Brady's house was so light, so welcome, it suited him perfectly.

"Well you kick in your sleep and take up way too much space," Brady murmured under his breath. I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling as I took a small sip from my glass of water. Relaxing I watched as Brady gazed inside of an empty cupboard, I could almost hear his stomach rumbling from across the room. A sudden panic ceased me.

"I have to go back don't I?" I spoke softly almost afraid to say the words out loud. Brady's house had shaded me from the reality of the situation, had given me a minute to push everything away. With a sharp breath I realised I had ran. Again. It was the only way I knew how to handle things. I definitely wasn't one for sobbing myself to sleep or being the first to apologize. Instead I just tended to fuck things up even more profoundly by running. Tears welled up in my eyes unexpectedly.

Turning to face me Brady walked quickly towards me and pulled me to his chest. I inhaled his scent, so similar to Paul's that it made my heart ache a little.

"You're always welcome here," he whispered into my hair as he squeezed me tightly, "but you know I cant go more than a few hours without Em's cooking." The moment was so simple, so effortless that I found myself sniffing back tears yet again. He was making me an emotional wreck. It was so easy to be myself around Brady, to confide in him. He reminded me of Poppy a little with his large smile and optimistic attitude, I had always envied those traits in Poppy, her ability to smile even during the hardest of days. Even when there was nothing to smile about. I wanted to be more like that. More loveable and charming. Instead I was hard and unwelcoming. Those traits had become a way of protecting myself, of keeping people at a distance. Except Paul. And Brady. Those thoughts niggled at the back of my head almost hopefully.

Twenty five minutes later I sat curled in the passenger seat of Brady's truck. I concentrated on the constant drip of my wet hair on the worn leather of his seat and the scratchy feel of Brady's old baseball shirt that seemed to drown my figure. The thumping in my head had begun to recede a little and instead my stomach was in knots. Would Paul be angry? Would he silent? I was sure I could take the yelling but I wasn't sure if I could handle not being able to hear his voice, not being able to touch him. I tried to remind myself that I had done nothing wrong, it was his mess to fix. He was the one who had tried to kiss me, who had taken advantage of me when I was at my most vulnerable. Instead I found myself longing for the soft feel of his lips upon mine, the feel of his hands on my back as he pulled me closer. Ashamed I shook the thought from my head as my cheeks grew warm.

"Please tell me you're not going to pretend he doesn't exist again?" Brady asked suddenly. Turning, my eyes focused in on the white of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. I guessed I wasn't the only one who was nervous. It hit me suddenly how much Brady had put at risk for me. Paul was one of his friends. Em was like his second mother. He had betrayed them by helping me. I owed him something.

"I doubt I would be able to," I confessed quietly, voicing my thoughts aloud. My mind flashed to the sensation of Paul's warm hand in mine and the unfamiliar heat that rushed to my cheeks as his dark eyes focused in on me. He made me feel desired and worthy. But he also made me conflicted and often blindingly angry. It was a war of emotions and day by day the outcome was always different. All so damn confusing.

"But that doesn't mean all is forgiven," I kept my tone calm desperate to keep my raw emotions from my voice. Brady's eyes flickered to mine briefly but did not press the issue as we turned up the familiar dirt path. I swallowed loudly.

"Are you ready?" Brady breathed deeply as if preparing himself for battle. Rolling my eyes at him I chewed furiously on my bottom lip. I wished for a moment that there were no secrets between us, no barriers of wolfs and constant lies. Maybe then everything would have been profoundly easier. Happier.

"Do I look ready?" I smiled hopefully but Brady's sudden frown and the crease between his eyes left me on the edge. His expression told me he wasn't going to lie to boost my ego. I was grateful.

"You look like hell," he told me truthfully, "You look like you've just woken up and then rolled down a hill several times."

"Way to sugar-coat things," I tried to push him against the door but he didn't move an inch. I pressed my mouth together into a thin line.

"He's going to be so mad at me for running again, isn't he?" My voice was barely above a whisper but Brady reached down to squeeze my hand, letting me know he had heard.

"He's going to be more mad at himself. He was the one who threw himself at you after all."

Gritting my teeth together with determination I flung the truck door open, my heart hammered in my chest.

The house was strangely quiet as we entered, only the ominous creak of the door announced our presence. Holding my breath I waited for the shouts which often accompanied the pack or the sound of children's cartoons sounding from the lounge where Quil and Claire usually bickered. But there was nothing. Just silence. Brady and I shared a long look, I couldn't help but noticed the crease between his eyes as if a bad feeling had wormed its way into his stomach. I swallowed loudly as I took a hesitant step forward. The wind blew the front door shut behind us with a resounding bang. I grabbed Brady's hand in my own as a shadow appeared at the end of the hallway. Brady pushed me behind him as if in an attempt to protect me. I couldn't see anything. I cursed my shortness under my breath.

"Em?" Brady's voice was unsure and I clutched tighter onto his hand as a shiver ran down the length of my spine. I held my breath waiting for the silence to falter, for the normal chatter of the Uley household to presume.

"Where the hell have you been?" Emily croaked. Her voice was like a sharp blade, cutting the silence almost painfully. Brady pulled me back to his side almost as if he was afraid to face the wrath of Em himself. She looked like hell. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her usually tanned face looked pale and withdrawn. Confusion drowned me. Something was seriously wrong. Beside me Brady stiffened as if preparing himself for an attack, I heard him curse under his breath as if something had fallen into place for him.

"How many?" he snapped, "Where? When?" The thumping in my head resumed as Brady let go of my hand, I watched as it fell to my side alone while he strode forward a few steps, his expression panicked. Biting down on my bottom lip my eyes flickered to the opened back door and the remains of a meal on the table as if people had left in a rush. It must have had something to do with the wolfs. What the hell was happening?

"Where the hell have you been?" Em repeated her question calmly but her whole being seemed to radiate frustration or anger. I had never, ever seen Emily so wound up. So out of control. It scared me.

"W-we fell asleep. We-" Brady glared down at me as if willing me to shut the hell up. I clamped my mouth shut as Emily's eyes suddenly found mine, they seemed to narrow a little and I wished that I had stayed in Brady's warm kitchen away from everything and everyone. Away from the drama.

"Three of them," Em's eyes snapped back to Brady, "In the middle of the night. Claire is asleep on the couch. No one has been back. They howl-" her eyes returned to mine as she seemed to choke slightly on her words, "They called for you."

"I'm _so _sorry," Brady's voice sounded unusually small, almost childlike in the face of Emily's unusual rage. I felt even smaller beside them, like I didn't belong.

"_Go_," Emily ordered him, her voice no more than a whisper. I watched with shock as he strode towards the open back door his whole body shaking. My eyes watched him through the window as his body seemed to jolt upwards almost painfully as he ran into the trees. I wondered how long it would take for the transformation to complete. The silence descended on us again. Without Brady beside me the tension seemed to build between Em and I until it was almost hard to breath.

"Emily I-" my voice faltered as Emily took another step towards me. I curled my arms almost protectively around my stomach to shield myself from her obvious disappointment.

"I thought I could help you," her voice sounded almost haunted, "I had changed so I thought it was possible for you too. I thought I could open your eyes to this amazing world."

"Em-" I tried again but she continued adamantly.

"But you keep running. It's ripping me apart Anna. It's ripping my family apart," I flinched , "All this drama is killing me. I don't know if I can take it anymore. So next time, if you run, don't come back. Stop being a coward."

I felt like I had been slapped in the face, repeatedly. Too stunned to speak I watched as she walked up the stairs almost like a ghost, her dressing gown flowing out behind her. Sliding down the wall my mind kept flashing back to Paul's hopeful expression and Emily's frowning face. I had fucked up. Emily was right, I was a coward.

I had to change that.

I was going to change that.

Holding my head into my hands I sobbed. I sobbed for the past. For the choices I was going to have to make in the future. For Poppy. For Emily. For Brady. For Paul. For myself.

I almost failed to notice as Emily returned to my side and held me close to her. No words were exchanged but there was no need. In that moment something seemed to pass between us, something seemed to grow which had been missing for a long time. And in that moment there was hope that I could change. Hope that I could love again. I clung onto that feeling with all my strength as Em rubbed soothing circles on my back. I was going to need all the strength I could get.

_Thoughts? _


	17. Honesty and Heartache

_Hello there. Once again thank you all so much for your brilliant reviews. Here we go with yet another chapter. Enjoy.._

Groaning with frustration I chewed hard on my bottom lip as I glared at the book of legends laid out in front of me. The Librarian peered over her glasses at me in interest, a frown etched upon her wide face. The Uley household had been swarming with negativity and hopelessness, I had to get out for a few hours before I spontaneously combusted. Claire's sad expressions had my stomach constantly in knots and I spent hours staring at the back door willing anyone to walk through.

I had seen Quil briefly, his smile had been tight as he had hugged Claire almost too tightly to his chest. Sam had blundered right past me one morning, I heard Emily's heart wrenching sobs through the thin walls as he comforted her, I knew she was scared. We all were. But at least they all understood, at least they knew what the pack was facing. I had decided rather spontaneously to search for answers instead of biting my nails, a habit which I thought I had stopped years before. Obviously not.

The days following my breakdown had been tense. Emily had apologized countless times for her outburst but I could see the worry lines appearing on her normally flawless face, the narrowing of her eyes when she saw me leaving the house. Even Claire never left me alone. I could understand her need to be near someone, to be held. But the constant make up experimentations and Disney movie marathons had left me drained. I just wanted it all to be over. All I wanted was for Paul to hold me and never let go. I was becoming such a sap.

The Librarians' over exaggerated sigh tore me away from my gloomy thoughts. Curling my hands into fists I fought the urge to glare at the woman as she looked pointedly at the clock hanging above her desk. It was obvious she wanted me to leave. Why could she not just ask? The constant coughing and tapping of her pencil was irritating me. Her eyes met mine for a brief second. They were accusing, impatient. My eyes glanced over the same page for the hundredth time. _tap tap tap_. I looked up once more. She grinned at me triumphant. Sighing, I gathered up my countless books. As I slung my bag over my shoulder I caught her putting on her jacket. So much for eight o'clock closing time. My footsteps echoed throughout the silent building.

"Have a nice night." The Librarian's voice was high and squeaky, almost as if she was putting all of her strength into irritating me, it was working. I bared my teeth at her before running out into the rain. No people walked the streets and I felt strangely vulnerable as the daylight quickly drew to a close. The wind brushed my exposed skin sending a shiver down the length of my spine. Darkened shops at every corner made me quicken my pace. The rustle of litter blowing about my feet made me jump in fright. I knew I was being stupid, paranoid even, but my mind kept flashing back to the countless legends I had soaked up all day, the legends which may hold more truth than I could have ever imagined.

"Anna?" I quickened my pace. It had been stupid of me to go out alone. So stupid. Paul was going to kill me whenever he found out. Wrapping my arms tightly around my stomach I ducked my head. I had been followed often in Seattle, I just had to keep my pace even and turn sharply at the next corner in order to lose them. It was easy but still fear clawed at my insides.

"_Anna_." A ragged scream tore from my throat as arms wrapped around me from behind. I didn't stop to think as I lashed out and jammed my hand upwards in an attempt to break my attackers nose. Only when I stopped struggling did I register the familiar warmth of my 'attacker' and his deep laugh which seemed to make me slightly light headed.

"Paul?" I breathed, cursing the slight quiver in my voice.

"Were you expecting someone else?" His voice was soft, only slightly mocking as he reached up to stroke the back of my hair. Without thinking I spun round and wrapped my arms tightly around him, inhaling his scent like a deprived drug addict. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, curse at him for hours but all I could do was hide my face in his bare chest. I had missed his so damn much that it scared me. For days I had been a ghost of myself, doing and saying things without conscious thought. He was safe. The thought seemed to lift a weight off my shoulders that I hadn't even been aware of. He was safe.

"Hey," his hands hesitantly rested on my back as I snuggled closer to him, "_Hey_. It's alright now. I'm here." My face flamed in embarrassment as my brain eventually registered his words. Stupid, over emotional me.

"Your not going away again, are you?" My voice croaked slightly. Around us the street was deadly silent, as if everything had stilled for our reunion. As if the whole world was giving us space to work things out. I was grateful.

"Not for just now," his voice was unusually hesitant as he took a step backwards, "I have to explain to you. I have to tell you." My heart ached a little as he created distance between us. Trying unsuccessfully not to frown my eyes drunk in the darkened circles beneath his eyes and his hunched shoulders. He looked so tired.

"It's fine," I murmured suddenly wanting nothing more than him to rest up and eat some of Emily's cooking, "We can talk about this later."

"_No_ we cant," Paul's voice was desperate and it seemed to tug on my heart strings, "We have to do this now before I fuck anything else up. I cant lie to you anymore. You exposed yourself to me and I took advantage of that. I want you to be disgusted in me, to run away. I deserve your hatred. I don't deserve you…"

"You're a wolf," I said matter of factly pushing away the consistent fear which had plagued me ever since the day I had discovered the truth. His display of self loathing reminded me too much of me. Reminded me of the despair I felt everyday of my life. I didn't want him to be burdened with that, I didn't want him to lose the spark in his eyes which made it increasingly harder for me to be a bitch. The spark which I had grown to love.

"I-. Wait. You _know_?" Paul's eyes widened as I searched for sufficient air to fill my lungs. Of course I had seen the transformation for myself but Paul's conformation seemed to take me off guard. Holding up my hands I took a step backwards as Paul reached out towards me. It was all true.

"You hunt the c-cold ones," I swallowed loudly desperately needing a cigarette, "Vampires." I hadn't believed the books at first. It was like every one of my favourite horror movies had been flung back in my face. As if everything my mother ever told me about how 'monsters didn't exist' was all false. It was hard to process. Pale creatures with fangs actually did exist, actually _did_ kill people. And Paul fought them. That was the thought that was the hardest to process, the hardest to shade from my mind.

"How the hell did you find out?" Paul's touch seemed to burn my arms as he held them tightly in his grasp. His thumb cautiously stroked the skin underneath my eyes as I attempted to smile bitterly at him.

"I'm not thick Paul," I spat, "I am a damaged, worthless failure who has suddenly found herself landed in the middle of a fucking horror movie. But I am _not_ thick despite popular opinion. I actually do have a functioning brain. You're all freakishly large and warm. I stumbled across some of the pack transforming one day, it was actually the day you had run off leaving me alone," I stumbled over my words suddenly not wanting him to feel guilty, "And then I read. Books. Web pages, Everything I could get my hands on. I needed to know the truth, I _needed_ to know what kind of stupid danger you were putting yourself in."

"You were worried about me?" Of course that was the only thing he had heard out of my whole speech. I closed my eyes as he gripped my arms tighter.

"It's true then?" My voice reminded me of Emily's in the previous days. The haunted, almost hysterical tone to her voice that I couldn't seem to snap out of her despite my several attempts. Was I going to end up like her? Waiting on Paul to come home every time he disappeared, waiting for the day a vampire ripped his throat out? I choked out a sob as dread consumed me. I was not strong enough for that. Was I?

"I cant lie to you anymore, that just tends to fuck things up even more between us. So yes," he sighed, "it's true. The past few days had been unusual. Random vampires don't normally turn up here on a regular basis. Normally it's pretty quiet, just routine patrols and stuff."

I was silent. It was so completely bizarre for Paul to be so calm while I felt like I was going to vomit any minute. He was the one with the out of control emotions and blinding rages, not me, normally I just ran before anyone could discover what I was truly feeling. I wished he would show me some emotion, anything so I knew what he was thinking. So I knew how to react.

"Can't you just make it go away?" I whispered. As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to reel them back in, to go hide in a corner. I was being selfish, again. It was what I was good at.

"It's sweet that you worried," his voice was careful as he sat down on the sidewalk and pulled me down onto his lap, "For a moment I thought I had no chance at wooing you."

"Wooing me?" I scoffed, "Wooing is for gentlemen and I'm pretty sure you don't fall under that category. Besides you avoided the question which is just plain rude." I pretended not to see Paul roll his eyes as I tried to subtly lean closer into his sculpted chest. Savouring the moment I sighed softly as he entangled my hair in his fingers in a way that was becoming almost familiar to me. He was becoming familiar to me.

"I am a wolf," he shrugged like it was no big deal, "It's in my blood. I am dangerous and sometimes I find it hard to keep control of my emotion, especially when it comes to you," I tried unsuccessfully not to blush as I felt his eyes upon me, "Although my anger and frustration is heightened, so too is my love and respect. Please don't give up on me yet."

A strange feeling wormed its way into my chest which I immediately tried to push away. I realised unexpectedly that I was falling for Paul Meraz. I was falling hard and that scared the shit out of me.

"I need a cigarette," I muttered lowly as I avoided Paul's persistent gaze.

"No. _No_ way," I glared openly at Paul as he shook his head, "It's a disgusting habit." Folding my arms over my chest I slipped easily back into my bitchy role. Paul just smirked at me. I may have been falling for him, but I was not going to let him control me.

"Cut me some slack," I snapped, "I did just find out that m-my…that you and all the guys chase after blood sucking leeches on a daily basis."

"What did you just say?" Paul clasped my hand softly in his as I went to stand up.

"That I need a cigarette?" I asked, confused as I wrenched my hand from his grasp. Light rain started falling around us once again.

"You called them leeches?" he grinned wildly as if I had just told him he had won the lottery. Ignoring his ecstatic expression I stormed away from him in the direction of the nearest shop.

"Which means I deserve a cigarette," I answered sourly as I sneaked a glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Just this once," Paul agreed reluctantly as he recaptured my hand in his. I tried to ignore the tingling sensation that travelled up the length of my arm as a result of his touch. I was beginning to think I was clinically insane.

"This doesn't mean I've forgiven you," I told him, not really meaning it but unwilling to back down. Paul squeezed my hand as we continued to walk, him slowing his pace down in order for me to keep up with him. I smiled softly at the gesture.

"Of course not," he smiled slightly. I didn't realise I had already forgiven him as we continued to walk in the rain, his presence making me feel almost intoxicated. For the first time in a while the smile that appeared on my face was not false.

_Thoughts?_


	18. Jealousy and Fear

_As always thanks you so much for the reviews, you guys are my inspiration. This has been my longest chapter in a while. Hope you enjoy…_

"Do you like strawberries?" Paul's question snapped me out of my concentration and Jared stuck his tongue out at me as my car drove off the cliff and into the ocean. I screwed up my face in annoyance as I watched the over exaggerated fireworks explode above Jared's character's head. I had been so close to winning. So close.

"No fucking way," I groaned hitting the pause button. Emily shot me a pointed look from across the room and I found an apologetic blush appearing on my face as I turned to smile gingerly at Claire. She didn't even seem to notice, instead choosing to wind a piece of Quil's growing hair around her finger while she read one of her many fairytales. She was used to the cursing in the Uley household.

"And you thought you could beat the champion?" Jared scoffed as he pretended to flex his muscles. Fighting the urge to flip him off I turned to glare at Paul, putting every ounce of my annoyance into one look. I smirked as Paul seemed to flinch away from me a little.

"What the hell was that?" I snapped, "I only had one more lap to go. Don't you think you could have waited two minutes?" Paul's eyes flickered between myself and the television screen as if he was working out some difficult maths equation. He seemed distracted. Paul was never distracted.

"Do you like strawberries?" he repeated, softer that before. He had ignored my simple question. Curling my hands into fists I shuffled backwards until I was leaning against the sofa. Sometimes he was so damn annoying.

"Why the hell does it matter if I like strawberries or not?" Claire giggled as I threw my hands up into the air with exasperation, "I was going to beat Jared. _Jared_! Do you have any idea how long it has taken me to be able to accomplish that? Once I had beaten him there was only Sam left and then I can borrow the truck whenever I want."

"I'll drive you anywhere you want to go," Paul shrugged like he couldn't understand why the whole thing was such a big deal to me. Obviously the idea hadn't crossed his mind that I wanted to have the truck so I could escape form him on the odd occasion that I wanted rid of my stalker and be able to feel the sensation of tripping over once in a while without warm hands grabbing me form behind. It was disconcerting having someone worry for me so much, having someone watch my every move. Paul didn't understand that I needed to get used to him, that he was supposed to appear in my life gradually. But then again nothing had ever been gradual between Paul and I. I wasn't even sure if the word 'gradual' was in his vocabulary.

"That's not the point Paul," I sighed as Emily grinned at me from across the room. She was just way too damn cheery around me after our little heart to heart, My head thumped as Paul reached over to grab my hand tightly within his. I tried to feel disgusted or repulsed instead I found myself leaning closer to him. I had been doing that a lot since the whole vampire/ wolf show down thing. I realised every moment with him was precious. I was becoming such a sap.

"Strawberries or not?" He turned to look me straight in the eye. I detected a wild edge to him, something I often only saw when we were fighting. I frowned. For some reason the answer to his mundane answer was probably important to him.

"I like them," I finally answered as Paul let out a huge sigh of relief, "but I prefer them in smoothies with some mango and pineapple. My mum used to make them for me after a hard weeks training." I faltered as Paul pulled me closer into his side as if it was the most natural thing in the world. My mum had become a touchy subject, Emily had been begging me to call her, but she wasn't forgiven even if I had come to like La Push a little more than I ever would have expected. She had still dumped me with Emily. Still left me alone.

"What about pizza?" Paul was bouncing up and down like Claire did when she consumed too much chocolate. From across the room Quil was looking at him like he had sprouted an extra head or something. Obviously Paul wasn't happy or excited very often.

"Pizza?" My stomach rumbled at the thought, "I'm an ex ballerina who wasn't allowed to eat pizzas for months at a time. Of course I love it. The meatier the better."

"A girl after my own heart," Paul's smile softened a little as he gazed down at me almost in wonder. My insides suddenly felt mushy. Averting my eyes I pulled at a loose thread on my jeans. He was so intense at times.

"What about jewellery? Are you averse to it or not?" Paul's voice was hesitant. My head snapped up and I'm sure my eyes were almost bulging out of my head as warning bells flashed in my head. Jewellery to me was something serious, something which someone thought about, put a lot of thought into. The thought that Paul and I were even near jewellery stage almost left me in a state of panic. We hadn't even kissed or had a proper conversation without arguing.

"_Brady_!" I called urgently as he walked past the open door. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I managed to dodge Paul's question, I tried not to see the expression of hurt which briefly graced his face. Brady took a step backwards and peeked his head through the doorway as if expecting to find me in the middle of some fight or in the middle of a burning building. Maybe I had been a little too dramatic.

"Hey," he finally said, his forehead was wrinkled with confusion but I just smiled my brightest, fakest smile in my direction, "Was there something you wanted?" I felt Paul's hand tighten around my own, almost painfully. What was wrong with him?

"Your sweater!" I exclaimed suddenly remembering that I in fact did have a valid reason for wanting to talk Brady, "Em washed it. You can have it back."

"She washed it?" A look of horror crossed Brady's face that I almost couldn't place, "That was my lucky jersey. And she _washed _it! I haven't washed that thing in years."

"Gross Brady," I wailed suddenly conscious of the fact that I had been wearing it only days before, "I'm probably never going to be able to wash all of your gross germs off of me now. Urgh. Let me go get it for you?" I pulled my hand firmly away from Paul's as I stood up. He didn't even try to help me. Strange.

"I don't want it back now," Brady scrunched up his nose as he walked further into the room and flopped down on an empty armchair, "It will never be the same again. You can keep it." I heard Paul inhale sharply behind me. What was his problem? Brady glanced around the room and realised it was empty apart from Paul and I. I realised Quill and Claire had left, probably to give us some privacy along with Jared and Emily.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Brady's voice was hesitant but the warmth he always reserved for me was still there. Jumping out of Paul's grasp I punched Brady lightly on the arm as I grinned. I could always count on him to save me from awkward conversations. He always seemed to be in the right place at the right time.

"Of course not," I lied.

"Yes," Paul said under his breath at the same time. I scowled at him.

"In fact would you mind helping me how to beat Jared at this game," I pointed at the television, "And even Sam. I know you can. _Please_." Brady seemed to have an internal debate with himself before he nodded his head almost reluctantly. Sighing quietly I pulled him down onto the floor beside me with a laugh.

"But only if you drive me wherever I want whenever I want," Brady bargained. I could feel Paul's eyes on the back of my neck but I made myself ignore him, scared of the commitment that a flushed glance towards him may entail.

"You have your own truck!" I argued picking the game controller off the floor from where I had dumped it.

"But when I'm driving I actually have to concentrate," he whined, "If you're driving then I just put my feet up on the dash and try and make you laugh so much that you crash."

"You want me to crash?" I turned to him wide eyed as I chose my favourite character to drive. From behind us I heard a low growl. Brady seemed to stiffen slightly while I kept my eyes forward and away from Paul.

"I wouldn't let you get hurt obviously," he rolled his eyes mockingly at me before pressing start on the game, "I'd save you of course and then make the car look worse so that I would be named the hero and all the girls would fawn over me." I snorted out a laugh as I pressed ferociously at the buttons on the controller willing my car to move faster. I had to beat Brady or I would never hear the end of it. I was distracted when I heard the door shut behind me with a bang. Turing around slightly my stomach curled itself into knots when I realised Paul had left.

"Where did he go?" I asked softly. I hadn't meant to upset him, only to evade the conversation.

"He's been shooting me funny looks for a while," Brady admitted with a shrug, "So maybe it's me not you?"

"He couldn't me jealous. Could he?" I shook my head dismissing the question before Brady had even formed an answer. The idea was ridiculous. Surely Paul could see the way I was drawn to him, the way I ached for his warmth when he wasn't around. Brady was some light relief, someone I could confide in when I was worried, but he couldn't measure up to Paul. Although admit ably sometimes I wished he could, life would have been so much easier.

Without waiting for Brady's answer I smiled weakly at him before running from the room. It wasn't like Paul to run off without a word or an argument first, that was normally my remit. Emily glanced up from chopping the vegetables and drunk in the sight of my anxious expression.

"He went outside, towards the woods. He didn't seem angry, but still, be careful." When we were younger Emily's thoughts had always seemed to be in tangent with mine. She had always known if I was upset and often made it her duty to find out why. I had missed our relationship. As we grew closer again I ached for the days we would laugh for hours and whisper in our cramped bedroom on the few occasions that I actually stayed there. I had missed her.

I found Paul just inside the tree edge. His hand was curled into a fist and I watched almost with fascination as he punched the tree bark over and over again. I gasped softly as I watched a crack form down the length of the trunk. It was then that I truly realised his full strength, how careful he had to be with me in order not to hurt me. My mind flashed back to Emily's scars, the claw like marks that seemed to disappear beneath her bright coloured shirt. Her face would never be the same again, part of her beauty had been stolen form her forever. I found myself amazed at the control Paul had. I had wound him so many times and he had never injured me to a great extent.

"Anna," a gruff voice sounded. Keeping my distance my eyes drifted to the tiny cuts lining Paul's knuckles and the trickle of sweat which disappeared beneath his shorts. His dark eyes gazed at me softly as if I was the most precious thing on earth. He was so beautiful, sometimes I wondered why he tried so hard to win me over when he could have any girl he wanted. What was so special about me? Swallowing loudly, I opened my arms. Dutifully he walked towards me and pressed me carefully to his chest. I inhaled his familiar scent.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unsure why I was apologizing but just knowing I had to.

"His thoughts just frustrate me," he growled, "The way he thinks about you. The way he wants to protect you. That's _my_ job. Not his." I was shocked by the possessive edge to Paul's voice. I wasn't an object. I didn't belong to anyone apart from myself. Frowning, I let my head lie on Paul's bare chest as the rest of his words seemed to sink in.

"Wait. His thoughts?" I murmured wondering if I had heard him right. Above us the moon fought for dominance while the sun seemed to reluctantly step away for another night. The sky was a brilliant red. The colour of passion. The colour of blood. It scared me a little. Paul held me tighter as if sensing my fear. He always seemed to know how I was feeling.

"Yeah," Paul shrugged but I could feel the tense set to his shoulders, "When we're in our wolf form it is the only way we can communicate. Through thoughts. Although sometimes," the growl seemed to slip back into his voice, "we hear things that we would rather not."

"You see and hear everything?" My voice sounded small in the surrounding woods. I tightened my grip on Paul as I heard an animal move around in the undergrowth. I thought about the times I had shared my soul with Paul, all the personal details I had told him about my life that I had never shared with anything else. Times when I was at my most fragile. The incident where I had told him about the mental institution. No wonder most of the pack regarded me with almost cautious looks, almost as if they were waiting for me to breakdown again.

"W-we try to shade our thoughts from each other, but sometimes if something is bothering us or we're highly emotional things just slip out," he sounded pained as if wishing that he could take back some of the things he had shared with the pack. I let out a shaky breath as I suddenly remembered why Paul had stormed out of the lounge in the first place. Brady.

Oh God no. Without conscious thought I thought about the almost guarded look in Brady's eyes as I pulled him to me, the hesitant touch of his lips against mine. Of course that was why Paul was so jealous, of course that's why he didn't seem to trust me around Brady.

"I kissed him," I whispered desperately, I didn't want Brady and Paul becoming enemies because of my drunken decisions, "I don't have any feelings like that for him. It was a spur of the moment thing and-"

"Brady and you _kissed_?" I let out a strangle cry as Paul pushed me away from him. He looked positively wild, his eyes darker than I had ever seen them before. Trembles seemed to rock his whole body, he seemed to be blurring between the man and the wolf. I bit down hard on my lip as I backed away from him. Emily's scars flashed in my head again.

Shit. He hadn't known.

_Shit_.

"I was drunk," I said again, "It didn't mean anything. I felt betrayed and lonely. He was there." Rambling uselessly I watched as Paul's eyes followed my every move. I felt strangely exposed in amongst the green of the woods, it was Paul's land not mine, he had the upper hand. But still he did not move. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest as an expression of pain seemed to flit quickly across his face. I watched in panic as he curled his hand back into a fist and lunged at the already cracked tree. I watched, dumbfounded as it feel to the ground with just once punch.

"I-It meant nothing," I repeated trying to keep my voice strong, "He pulled away. He doesn't like me in that way. He even offered to sleep on the couch when he let me stay at his." As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they had been the worst thing I ever could have said. Paul panted as he turned to let his frustrations out on another tree. I swallowed back a sob. Deep down I knew Paul wouldn't hurt me, I knew he would rather kill himself than kill me but I couldn't stop myself from inching backwards in fear. I cursed as I felt the familiar pain begin to claw at my legs. A frustrated tear escaped the corner of my eye.

"You slept in his house? In his _bed_?" Paul's voice was quieter, which seemed to make me more on edge. My breath came out in a rush as he stood over me. He had never looked so big and dangerous. But underneath it all I could still see him, my Paul. I had never meant to hurt him.

"He was being a good friend," I yelled suddenly angry, "This jackass had tried to kiss me after I had told him things I had never told anyone before," Paul flinched at my words, "Brady slept on the couch like a true gentleman and never forced himself on me but then I was sick. I needed warming up. He was there for me."

"I am going to kill him," Paul's voice was feral. I wondered how much of him was speaking and how much was the wolf. A scream got caught in my throat as he turned and ran in the direction of the house. _No_. Scrambling after him I ignored the stabbing pain in my legs.

"Stop him," I screamed. Emily looked up from washing the dishes as Paul pulled the back door off the hinges. I sobbed as the door narrowly missed me. Emily's eyes flickered between us as Paul seemed to pause for a minute, sniffing the air. He shook almost uncontrollably.

"Stop him," I whispered clinging onto Emily's arm, "He's going to hurt him. He's going to hurt Brady."

I heard a crunch from the next room and then an almost haunted growl.

Then I blacked out.

_Thoughts? _


	19. Fists and Insults

_As always thank you for all the reviews, I was overwhelmed by the positive response to the last chapter. Someone suggested they would like to see the last chapter from Paul's perspective. So here you go.._

**Paul's POV. **

"I kissed him."

The words seem to bang off the inside of my head, creating a sensation of pain so sharp that I almost gasped aloud. My eyes flickered to her lips as she continued to speak but I couldn't hear anything. Her lips. The lips that I had tried to kiss but she had pushed me away. The lips she had willingly let Brady touch, the lips she had pouted as Brady had pressed closer to her. I felt physically sick.

"Brady and you kissed?" Even I could hear the feral edge to my voice, my raw anger on display for everyone nearby. I fought the urge to wince as a small scream past her trembling lips. Nothing had ever seemed so small about Anna before. I could see the way her hands shook by her sides and the way all of the colour seemed to flush from her face. I was scaring her. I didn't want to scare her but all I could see was them, together. Locked in an embrace.

"I was drunk-" I heard her begin hesitantly almost as if she was afraid to speak in my presence. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest as I tried to push back the wolf but fury consumed me. A twig snapped, painfully loud, as she took a small step backwards away from me. Away from _me_! I bet if Brady was in my place she wouldn't have been fucking running then. I curled my hands into fists. I wanted to kill him. She was mine. My Anna. Nobody elses. _Mine_.

My wolf was stronger than ever, fighting to break free. I could feel my jaws wanting to snap shut and the pain as the wolf's sharper teeth tried to break through. Anna looked so breakable before me, her eyes so unusually vulnerable and open. Her pain seemed to scar me deeper than any vampire attack. I couldn't hurt her. I couldn't. My mind flashed to Emily's mangled face as I lashed out at the tree behind me. Brady was to blame, not her. She has been scared, used. As always it was my own damn fault. I didn't deserve her, I never had.

"He pulled away. He didn't like me in that way," Anna was still talking. Of course he had said that to her, of course he had wanted to seem like the good guy while I went and messed everything up as usual. I had felt the worry he felt for her. The way he regarded her baggy clothes and wondered is she ate enough. How he always noticed when she was anxious or afraid before I did. He was always the night in fucking armour. That was my job, not his. Why did he always seem to everything right so effortlessly?

"He even offered to sleep on the couch when I stayed at his." My head snapped around to look at Anna as a furious red seemed to consume my vision. No. Oh God no. I was going to snap his legs in half. The stupid mongrel. If he had touched her, if he had laid one hand on her he wouldn't even see what was coming.

"You slept in his house? In his _bed_?" I tried to keep my voice calm as I leant over her tiny frame. She was so cold. Pressing myself up against her I tried again to push the transformation back as I saw more fear leak into her wide eyes. I never, ever wanted her to be scared of me. Didn't she realise that I would kill myself before I hurt her? Internally I winced as I though of the blue bruising on her arms after I grabbed her too hard. She was like a china doll, I had to be so careful with her all the time.

"He was being a good friend," her voice sounded small despite her attempt to be loud , "This jackass had tried to kiss me after I had told him things I had never told anyone before," I flinched. I knew it was my fault. It was always my fault. As I had done countless times I thought about the torn expression on her face, the look of complete betrayal as she had pulled away from my kiss. I had thought it was the perfect moment. The comfort she needed. But I just couldn't read her, she was like no other girl I had ever met before and I was messing everything up. It wasn't as simple as chat up lines and tacky dates for Anna, she deserved so much more.

"Brady slept on the couch like a true gentleman," my attention snapped back to her as I realised what she was saying, "and never forced himself on me but then I was sick. I needed warming up. He was there for me."

At first all I could think about was the thought that she had been sick and I hadn't been there for her. Once again I had failed to take care of her, to hold her hair back and speak soothingly to her as she was sick. Once again the ass had stolen my job, had taken the responsibility from me.

Then I realised what else she said. Swallowing the vomit in my throat I imagined the two of them cuddled up beside each other in his single bed. There would have been no room to move, they would have been pressed up against each other. I bet he enjoyed that, especially the warming up part.

I was supposed to be the only one to know if she talked in her sleep or was overly affectionate. I gritted my teeth together. I wondered if she had hugged him, if he had pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she had drifted in and out of sleep. She had been intoxicated, ill. He could have done anything, she had been unprotected without me by her side when she needed me most.

"I am going to kill him," I hissed, and I truly meant it. How dare he lay his hands upon Anna? How dare he take advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable? Without conscious thought I realised I was running in the direction of the house. I was going to find him, he was not going to get away from me.

I forced myself to ignore Anna's desperate screaming from behind me, her croaked attempts at getting me to stop. If I turned to face her I knew I would forget about everything except how to make her happy. I would see how hurt she was and have to force myself not to go after Brady. But I just couldn't let him get away with everything he had done. He had to pay.

I tried to ignore the flash of fear which seemed to drown half of Emily's face as I barged into the kitchen, of water sloshing over the side of the sink. Vaguely I was aware of breaking the door off of it's hinges. Sam would kill me but I couldn't find it in my heart to care. Tilting my head I found Brady's familiar scent coming from the lounge.

At first his expression was one of slight confusion and happiness. I watched as his eyes flickered up the length of my shaking body until the reached my burning eyes. I watched in satisfaction as he flinched away from my glare, he should have been scared. A howl was building in my throat as I felt my claws itching to grow. Quil gathered a dazed Claire up in his arms as he ran quickly by me.

"Paul? What is it?" Brady's voice was unusually quiet as he seemed to inch backwards. Letting out a low growl I pushed him up against the wall. I smirked as I heard the crunch of his nose when my fist connected with it. Swinging my arm back again I delivered a punch after to punch to his eye until it turned a satisfying purple colour. He winced in pain under my touch.

"How dare you touch her?" I roared as I kneed him in the gut, "How dare you taint her with your touch? She is _mine_."

"I don't think she would like being treated like some possession," Brady wheezed as he swiped drying blood away from the edge of his mouth. He doubled over in pain as I pushed his head forcefully backwards until it hit off Em's yellow walls.

"Don't be fucking smart with me," I breathed out as he finally punched me back, "You're pathetic. Stealing what isn't your because nobody wants you." I dragged my nails along the length of his cheek as I felt my claws grow out. My arm let out a crack as Brady pulled it behind my back. Kicking backwards I moved out of his way as he tried to deliver another blow to my stomach.

"Well Anna seems to," he grinned toothlessly as I stood still, breathing heavily, "It was me she got drunk with. Me who she can trust. She hates you, cant you see that? All you do is fuck her up more than she already is."

"She doesn't hate me. She told me things she had never told anyone." I punched out at Brady five times in a row, I watched as his eyes grew dark with anger.

"Which you proceeded to tell everyone else."

My limbs seemed to extend as my back jutted out unnaturally in pain. The change was beginning. A strangled whimper left my throat as I tried to lunge at Brady again, someone grabbed me from behind.

"Let go of me," I roared, "or I'll kill you too."

"You need to calm down," Sam's voice of reason sounded in my ear. I wanted to rip his head off for holding me back. The edge of alpha in his voice made me seem like I was wading through water, but I wouldn't give up. I wouldn't.

"Let go off me," I sounded weak, which I hated. The rawness of my voice almost suggested that I was about to cry, that I was losing any hold I had on my sanity. He had fucking touched her! She had kissed him. Why did no one understand the pain that caused me? The stabbing sensation in my heart which seemed to consume my every movement. It hurt so damn much. I wanted to eliminate all possibility of it ever happening again.

"I want to hurt him," I screamed, "I don't want him to be around Anna ever again. He is worthless. A reject."

"You don't mean any of those thing," Sam's low voice sounded in my ear again, "Anna is passed out in the kitchen. You terrified her. What do you want her to see when she wakes up? Her best friend lying on the floor almost dead while you stand over him? Or do you want her to see your eyes making sure she is alright?"

"He is not her best friend."

"I beg to differ," Brady muttered under his breath. I narrowed my eyes in his direction but I could feel Sam's grip beginning to slacken on me as I let out a deep breath. The pain was even greater than before as I jogged to the kitchen to see my Anna lying in Emily's arms, her face chalk white.

I had failed her. Again.

As always.

Would I ever be able to make it right?

_Thoughts?_


	20. Punishments and Pizza

_I hate giving excuses but I am truly sorry for the long period between the latest updates. I have been on holiday in America for the past two weeks and the past few days have been dedicated to seeing all my friends and trying to get over the jetlag. But woah, over 400 reviews for this story. Insane. You guys never fail to give me inspiration. Here we go with the next chapter. Enjoy…_

Lying back on the bed I sighed aloud. Across the room Claire mumbled in her sleep as she moved restlessly, I wondered what she was dreaming about. It was too damn early for me to go to sleep. I was 'grounded', the word was almost foreign to me. Back in my ballet days I had been so focused on goal after goal that I had never done anything which would have resulted in punishment. And after everything, well, my Mum tried I suppose but if the word 'grounded' was even mentioned to me I would flee the house for a couple of days leaving her to worry about where I was.

When Sam had told me I was grounded I had fought the urge to laugh, Emily hadn't been so successful- turning her around with a tiny smirk on her face. At first I had thought he was joking but the intense stare that had me wanting me to drop my eyes to the table in a matter of seconds told me there was absolutely no hilarity involved. Apparently being grounded consisted on not being able to leave the house. It was a stupid punishment, I had hardly left the house in the first place. I spent my days cooking with Emily and watching countless Disney movies with Claire. The only thing that royally sucked was the 'bedtime'. For the fifth night in a row I was lying staring at the dirty marks on the white ceiling willing myself to fall asleep.

Paul hadn't been so lucky. Curling up into a ball I chewed down hard on my bottom lip as I thought of his wild, dark eyes- the first thing I had seen when I came around from my dramatic fainting moment. His hold on me had been careful, almost as if he was afraid I would break in his grasp. I hadn't seen him since. Sam has banished him from the house for a week except for pack meetings, which I was sent to my room during. I missed his smell, his heart clenching smirk which often left me breathless. But I still couldn't let go of the disappointment, the fury which grabbed me every time I thought of him. I winced as I thought of Brady's black eye.

Brady had gotten off the lightest of the three of us. He had been completely calm as Sam had given him a lecture on underage drinking, only shooting me the very occasional smile when Sam was distracted by Em. His punishment was extra patrols, but Sam was careful to keep Paul and Brady far, far apart. They hadn't crossed paths since their fight. It was hard to grasp the fact that the two people I had come to depend on the most during my time at the Uley's suddenly hated each other. I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to handle it.

A sharp knocking sound had me clutching at my heart and pulled me away from my thoughts. Claire's breathing faltered a little before she turned over onto her side and fell back into her dreams, I often envied the way in which she could fall asleep so effortlessly. Gingerly I got to my feet as another loud thud echoed throughout the tiny room. Peering out of the window I was surprised to see a large, dark figure hidden by the overbearing trees. A small scream left my lips as I opened the window and a stone bypassed me to land on the floor. Then everything was silent.

"Anna?" a gruff voice carried it's way towards me through the darkness, "Anna? Is that you? Please, please don't shut the window."

Without conscious thought a smile appeared on my face at the familiar voice, the voice I had been longing to hear. It was like something out of a sappy, romantic movie or a Shakespeare play. Modern day guys did not toss rocks at a girl's window in order to win her affections, those days were long by. So why did my heartbeat quicken a little? Shaking my head in disbelief I leant out of the window and into the night.

"What do you want Paul?" I hissed knowing he would hear me, "I'm still mad at you. You…You _idiot_." I sighed. My insults were becoming less and less effective and more comedy infused. I just couldn't find it in my heart to wound him, to say something I would regret moments later.

"I know," his voice was bewildered, almost as if he couldn't believe I was speaking to him, "Just sneak out with me for a hour. Just pretend the past few days never happened, just for tonight." A rumble sounded overhead and I watched as several raindrops fell from the sky. My head screamed at me not to go with him. He was a freaking wolf! A wolf who had mauled my best friend and ripped a door off it's hinges. I should not be attracted to him, I should not want to peer into those wild eyes and discover all his secrets. I hated him, I really did. The lie tasted sour in my mouth.

"I can't get down. I'm too high up," was my brilliant reply. Stupid, stupid heart. Glancing down at my sweats and baggy top I was suddenly glad I had an excuse. Although at the back of my head I couldn't help but think if my whole messed up background hadn't put him off, I'm sure much would.

"Just jump," he sounded insistent. I knew in that instant that whether I left with him or not he would camp out front until daybreak. Sam would not be best pleased. Running a frustrated hand through my knotted hair I barked out a laugh as I surveyed the drop form the window to the ground.

"Is your master plan for me to break my neck?" Even through the darkness I registered the way his troubled eyes lightened at my attempt at humour. Standing forward he opened his arms as if about to hug me close to him.

"No," I shook my head repeatedly but could not make myself back away from the window, "_No_ way. And I'm supposed to be the insane one?" I lowered my hysterical voice as Claire mumbled in her sleep. Sometimes sharing a room was a pain in the ass. In Seattle I hadn't thought twice about sneaking out at night. But somehow the dark figures that the trees seemed to take on in the darkness seemed more ominous than the countless homeless people lounging on the streets of Seattle who were not against flashing a knife in order to get some of my money.

"Come _on_," the familiar voice laughed, the sound sent tingles down my spine. But Seattle hadn't had Paul. Paul would never let any harm come to me. Glancing downwards at his outstretched arms I wanted nothing more than to hide within them, away from the rest of the world. I wanted to melt in his warmth and fall asleep in his arms.

My mind didn't seem to be processing my movements as I pushed myself up onto the window ledge, I winced as it creaked underneath me. Note to self: I really had to cut down on eating Emily's cakes, they were _way_ too good.

"If you let me die, I swear I will haunt you until you go crazy," I shouted against the insistent winds. Taking a deep breath I inhaled the familiar smell of home before letting myself fall.

"If you died I would already be crazy before you haunted me," Paul's voice was no more than a whisper as he caught me almost flawlessly. Wrapping my arms around his neck I buried my head in his chest as he smoothed down my hair. I had missed him so fucking much. It scared me slightly, but then most things about Paul and I's relationship scared me.

"Don't be overdramatic," my voice got lost in the warmth of his chest. Pressing myself closer to him I subtly pressed my arms against his to get rid of the chill seemingly wrapped around me.

"Don't lie and say you didn't miss me," Paul's voice was teasing. Rolling my eyes I pulled back to look up at him. There was moments when his height seemed to knock the breath out of me, times when his seemingly sculpted body made me feel insignificant in his presence. But the sparkle in his dark eyes that was only reserved for me contradicted that thought, when Paul looked at me, it was like he was looking into the eyes of an Angel. I still didn't get what was so special about little, mental me but somehow when I was with Paul that didn't seem to matter, nothing did.

"So, do you really like strawberries?" I frowned a little, his words taking me back to that disastrous day. The dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn't forgotten that day either but the curve of his lips as he took in my chaotic hair told me he was putting the incident behind him for the night. Ignoring him I tilted my head back, drops of rain littered my face.

"Is there any particular reason why you dragged me out of bed? Besides getting me all soaked so my top becomes see through?" Paul coughed guiltily as his eyes snapped back up to my face and away from the numerous curves that my top seemed to be exposing. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from laughing aloud.

"You weren't sleeping," he stated matter of factly as though he knew everything about me. Stepping closer into his side I let him shelter me from the oncoming rain and smiled widely as he snaked his long arms around my stomach and pulled me to him.

"Maybe I was meditating," I laughed, his body shook as he joined in. The moment was spoiled as he swung me around onto his back. I punched him lightly on the back in protest.

"What the hell are you doing?" I looked up at my bedroom window to see a tiny Claire watching us from the window. She waved at me as a large grin seemed to creep onto her face. The little devil! I was certain she had known Paul was coming. I stuck my tongue out in her general direction as Paul followed my line of sight.

"I'm taking you on a date," Paul turned his back on Claire and started running into the trees instead of away from them, "It was Claire's idea actually." My fingernails dug into his bare skin as he continued to run. I closed my eyes as the woods began to blur around me. God, he was fast.

"Don't I get a say in this?" I murmured into his ear, "The polite thing to do is to ask a lady to dinner and let her turn you down."

"Well," his breath tickled my arms which were around his neck, "you're not a lady and I'm not polite, therefore there is no problem." I huffed indignantly as my insides melted to an almost jelly like substance. It was funny how his insults made me smile more than his compliments did.

For a moment silence consumed us. I listened to the steady, calming sound of his breathing as he ran through the trees. I would never have admitted it to him but I loved having an excuse to be so close to him. My body was pressed up against the warmth of his back, my wild hair tickled his exposed shoulders. In that silence I could almost imagine more. I could imagine the gentleness of his usually stormy eyes as he captured my lips with his. I could imagine our entangled laughter as we lay in Em's garden on sunny afternoons. If we were normal everything would have been effortless, everything would have been simple.

"We're here," Paul's voice was no more than a whisper. Glancing over his shoulder I let out a shocked gasp as raindrops trickled down my arms.

"It's so beautiful," I murmured softly, overwhelmed by our surroundings. I had no idea how Paul had found such a gem in the middle of a terrifying forest. What looked like a lone wooden hut sat before me. Wild flowers grew up and around the sides almost as if hugging it in a loving embrace. The flowers were vibrant colours, colours which seemed so out of place in the muddy clearing yet so utterly at home when the sun showered them in it's brilliant light. A little path of stones led up to a chipped, red painted door. I was hardly aware as Paul pulled me gently along it, my eyes resting on the tiny stream which ran along the left side of the property. It was paradise, like something I would only read of in books.

"It _is_ beautiful," Paul agreed but I could feel his eyes resting heavily on my blushing face rather than our surroundings. Grabbing his hand within mine I squeezed it tightly unable to put my emotions into words. For once in my life I was speechless. It was normally a hard task for someone to accomplish but Paul had managed it seemingly just by being him.

"How-" I croaked, "How the hell did you find this place?"

"It belonged to my great uncle. He lived out here, he said it was where he was more at peace with the world," his eyes darted around as if remembering something I would never see, "there's a little dirt road five minutes walk away that takes you into La Push. When he died he left the property to me. I guess he could see how much I loved the woods, how much I loved it here." Never before had Paul mentioned his past, the way his eyes glistened in the darkness told me how much his uncle had meant to him. I felt precious for him to be sharing a piece of his past with me, I had a feeling he didn't do that very often. It was me who squeezed his hand that time around, I wanted him to know that he didn't always have to be the strong one, sometimes it was okay for him to lean on me a little and go a little crazy. I sure leant on him often enough, both literally and metaphorically.

"Come on," Paul's voice was husky as we shuffled our way up the make-shift path. I couldn't help but hold my breath as he pushed the door open, the welcoming creak of the door told me how loved the little place was, how used the front door was. Briefly, I had a glimpse of dark haired children fighting with each other good naturedly on the front porch. Shocked at my clearly delusional imagination I pushed the thought away as we finally entered the little house. Tears threatened at the corner of my eyes.

"This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was all set up in the clearing in the woods, there was fairy lights hanging from the trees and a picnic basket full of food. It was going to be perfect and then the fucking rain had to start and I didn't want to cancel and I-" I pressed a sole finger to Paul's lips to stop his insistent rambling.

Inside the little house was cosy. A warm fire blazed in the fireplace situated in the centre of the room, the orange flames seemed to dance joyfully, the vibrant colours instantly warming me up. The blanket Paul had been talking about was laid in the centre of the scratched wooden floor, a pizza box lay on top and two glasses filled with what looked like…

"Is that a smoothie?" I blurted remembering how I had told him that my Mum used to make them for me. Sitting carefully down on the blanket I drew my knees up to my chest as I continued to gaze around in wonder. No one had ever done anything so spectacular for me. Paul seemed to have put a lot of thought into the evening, he seemed to truly know me despite all the times I had knocked him backwards.

"Yeah, it's a smoothie," Paul shrugged, he looked almost bashful, "with strawberries, pineapple and mango." I didn't even think as I took a long, delicious sip before launching myself once again into his arms. Surely, he must of gotten tired of catching me all the time.

"Thank you," I whispered in his ear even though we were the only two in the room.

"I had to apologise," his eyes darkened slightly as he kept me firmly in his grasp, "Don't move. That is unless you want to." Despite my hatred of people invading my personal space I found myself not wanting to move away from Paul. Sitting on his lap I lipped my lips eagerly as I flipped open the pizza box.

"Meaty," I grinned.

"Just the way we like it," he agreed.

Half a hour later when I had stuffed myself full I let out a contented groan and pressed my hand against my stomach. I was pretty sure I had never been so full. Paul burped behind me, I wrinkled my nose up in disgust.

"Learn some manners," I whacked him playfully on the arm as he let out another burp. Smiling I closed my eyes as he ran his hands soothingly up and down my arms.

"You practically inhaled that whole pizza and then proceeded to eat most of it and you talk to me about manners?"

"Hey! Deprived ballerina here who lived on vegetables and green stuff for years. What's your excuse?"

"What can I say?" he lay down on the blanket pulling me with him, "I like my food."

"Hmm-hm," I sighed curling up into his side. The fire continued to dance beside us. Paul's grasp tightened around me.

"You tired?" His fingers combed lazily through my hair. Once again my mind drifted from years from then, I wondered whether he would still want to hold me close to him. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. I cursed quietly under my breath knowing he could probably hear every stutter of my stupid heart.

"A little tired," I admitted as my eyes began to flicker shut. Everything seemed to blur around me., "I'm surprised you aren't to, you know after camping outside my window every night this week?"

"You know about that? Why didn't you come say hi?" he grew warmer beside me almost as if he was embarrassed that I knew about his consistent stalker tendencies.

"I was mad," I slurred in an attempt to remind him as my eyes finally clamped shut. I could of sworn I heard the 'L' word leave his mouth as I lost myself to sleep for the first time in what seemed like weeks, snuggled into the side of my warm, over protective wolf.

Later when my eyes finally opened I let out a scream. Sunlight streamed through the cracked windows.

"Paul!" I yelled. I hit him on the side, hard.

"Paul! Get your ass up. It's light outside," I panicked as I ran a hand through my hair, "I am going to be in so much trouble. We're 'grounded' remember?" Paul sat up bleary eyed, his head was tilted to the side in what looked like amusement. I hit him again. Harder.

"I love it when you do that," he murmured pulling me back against him. For a moment I almost lay back down but then I remembered Em's haunted sobs in the hallway, Claire's excited face and Sam's stern gaze. I wouldn't let them down again. I wouldn't.

"Come on," I groaned. Trying to pull an overly large wolf to their feet is not the easiest thing to do in the world especially when the wolf in question wasn't putting any effort in. Paul pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes as he planted a soft kiss to my forehead, I forced myself not to smile.

"Never did I think I would see you worried about breaking curfew," he choked out a laugh as he finally got to his feet. I just shrugged. He was right. Somehow in the middle of vamp/wolf wars and people finding out how crazy I really was I had come to love La Push and more importantly the people in it. It was weird. I had never really been attached to one place in my life, never had I thought I would have to be. Ballet would have taken me around the whole world, would have shown me sights I'd only dreamed of, but more and more my dreams were consumed by the troubled man in front of me, the beast which was beginning to mean everything to me.

"It's fine," Paul yawned as I continued to glare at him, "It's only five in the morning or roundabout."

"And you know that how?" I argued as he pulled me carefully up onto his back. Being so close to him reminded me of the way he had snaked his arm around me while I was sleeping, the way in which his face had been so close to mine.

"I don't know. A guess? It's something I've always been good at I guess." It struck me how at one with nature Paul really was, how comfortable he had seemed in the little hut in the middle of the woods.

When we reached Sam and Em's house Paul dropped me softly onto the front porch, his large hands rested on my waist. Glancing around I was happy to see all the lights were still out. Peeking through the front window I saw Quil sleeping on the couch and Collin lying on the floor with the Xbox controller just out of his reach. Just a normal night at the Uley's then, I hadn't missed much.

"Did you have a good time?" Looking upwards I was surprised to see how close Paul's face was to mine. I had never noticed how perfectly curved and smooth his lips looked. He caught me almost effortlessly as I stumbled backwards a step. I would only have to step on the tips of my toes and he would have to move forward a little and then our lips would have met. The sun rose up behind us, the moment was perfect.

"It was breathtaking." The words felt cheesy leaving my mouth but I couldn't bring myself to care. His hands felt solid on my back, stable. Everything was perfect, he leant forwards. My mouth was suffocated as he pulled me to him in a tight hug. My whole being seemed to deflate a little. Why didn't he want to kiss me? I thought back to the night in the truck- the raw abandonment that had seemed to captivate him as he had tried to kiss me. But for once I actually wanted him to kiss me, I wanted to feel his lips on mine.

"Promise to come on a second date with me?" he murmured tilting my head up so I was looking him in the eye. I forced myself to smile.

"I promise," I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth. I wouldn't let the rejection ruin the whole night, up until that moment everything had been beyond my greatest expectations, beyond everything I had ever thought Paul was capable of. Doing for someone, for me.

"Someone's coming," Paul's face turned serious as he looked towards the woods, "Go…unless you want to get caught." He caught me off guard as he chastely kissed me on the forehead tonight. Stumbling into the house I shut the door behind me with a slam. Leaning against the door I grinned widely as I heard Paul loiter on the porch. My quick breathing seemed to match his. I was fighting the urge to fling open the door and launch myself into Paul's arms again as Sam appeared at the end of the hallway.

"Holy shit!" I hissed pressing my hand against my heart.

"Have fun?" I was surprised to see a little glint in Sam's eyes. For a minute I could almost see what my sister saw in him. Almost.

"You're not mad?" I whispered aware of someone moving overhead on the second floor. I heard a snore come from the living room.

"You're home safe and smiling. What Em doesn't know wont hurt her."

I watched in amazement as he walked by me and up the stairs.

I felt almost drunk as I waited for a moment before running up and into my own room. Falling back onto the bed I just knew that Paul would be looking up at my window. I smiled, yet again.

_Thoughts? _


	21. Helmets and Bargains

_Thank you all so much for your reviews, I cannot believe there are over four hundred for this story. That is just insane! This is just some more Paul/Anna time before the action really begins in the next chapter. And i promise the next chapter will be longer, I have many ideas. Enjoy. _

"It's only a little motorbike."

Paul leant casually against the monstrosity of a vehicle as he continued to smirk at me with obvious amusement. Pushing the hair furiously away from my eyes I shot him a disbelieving look as he continued to stroke the stupid thing like some sort of precious dog. Idiot. Absolute idiot. There was no way.

"That _thing_ is certainly not little." Sarcasm seemed to drown out the regular tone of my voice. Behind me I heard Quil's soft laughter from the porch where Claire lay asleep on his lap. Without even looking I turned briefly in his direction to flip him off.

"You mean to tell me that you will jump out of windows, go to a deserted house with a wolf and walk through Seattle on your own yet you will not get on a motorbike?" Paul took a step closer to me with every word fogging up my brain. Holding my hands up I signified that I didn't want him to come any closer, if he had I wouldn't of had the ability to think clearly. His stupid grin would have made me say yes to anything.

"I can control those things. But this," I waved my hands wildly out in front of me as Paul rolled his eyes, "_You_ control this which makes me increasingly nervous. And of course it's a fucking death trap. No roof to stop my head from smacking off the ground if we crash."

Wrapping my arms tightly around my stomach I frowned as I watched the laughter shine in Paul's normally stormy eyes. He seemed so happy, I hated to crush that.

"That's what I'm for. Do you not trust me?"

I glared at him as he took yet another step towards me. Playing the guilt card with me was never a smart move, he must have really wanted me to get on that damn bike. The sun was warm on the back of my neck as I let out a rye laugh.

"Nobody is invincible Paul," I whispered softly.

"Almost though." All the breath left my lungs in a rush as he crushed me fiercely to his chest as if to emphasise his strength. Latching onto the familiar warmth I moulded my body almost naturally to fit his. We were becoming strangely familiar with each other. I pressed my lips together into a thin life as I heard a low whistle coming from the direction of the house.

"Assholes," I muttered under my breath at the same time as Paul did. We barked out a laugh. Glancing upwards my eyes immediately sought out his lips, those full lips that were just begging to be kissed. Many times since our first official date we had been hugging and then Paul had leant down as if to kiss me before abruptly taking a step backwards. It was getting frustrating. Was the idea of kissing me that disgusting to him?

I had tried to stay mad at him even after out date but I had found it impossible. He was being too much like a gentlemen, opening doors, making me lunch, laughing with me and even tolerating Brady when we hung out in the garage together. It was all almost too perfect, not the dysfunctional relationship I had become accustomed to experiencing with Paul. Admit ably I was almost waiting for cracks to appear, for something bad to happen that would rip us apart again. I almost felt like I was treading on eggshells, one wrong move would smash everything into smithereens.

"Even Emily had been out on a motorbike," Paul's warm breath against my ear sent shivers down my spine. I stumbled backwards in shock. His hand shot out to stop my from falling over.

"Em? _My_ Em had been out on one of those death traps?" Glancing back towards the house I could almost make out her silhouette, as always, standing in front of the kitchen window as she washed all of the dishes by hand, Sam by her side. She just seemed so…_domesticated_ and boring?

"Yes," Paul's smirk grew as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "She didn't complain one little back. In fact she loved it so much Sam and Em went out several times. And Claire is dying to give it a shot as soon as she's old enough."

Despite my best efforts I could not imagine Em willingly getting on the back of a motorbike. I glanced once again at Paul's own motorbike the black paint gleaming in the sunlight. My heart thumped loudly in my chest.

"Would you hold onto me tightly?" I was determined not to be swallowed up by my fears, especially if Em was able to survive the horrific experience.

"Always," his fingertip trailed carefully down the length of my face as if cataloguing my every feature. My whole body felt like jelly. Tired of pushing the thought to the back of my head I realise with a shock how much I cared for Paul, maybe even loved him. The thought made me breathless.

"On one condition," I murmured as his thumb made gentle circles on the palm of my hand. From behind me I heard the slam of the door and Claie's quiet giggles, they had gone inside.

"Oh no," Paul groaned playfully, "I must be the one who has a death wish if I make a bargain with you." I pinched him lightly on the arm, knowing her would barely feel the gesture anyway. My mouth tilted up at the corners unable to hold back a laugh.

"I want to see you," Paul's face scrunched up in confusion but I continued, "I want to see you in your wolf form. Claire told me the other night that she had seen Quil many times. _Please_." It had been playing on my mind for days. Paul had a whole other side to his life that I knew nothing about. Of course I had seen his wolf form lounging outside of my bedroom window but never had I had the chance to see him up close, to run my fingertips through his soft fur. I was determined not to be scared of an important part of him, I was determined to show him that it didn't matter to me.

"Quil has more control than me," Paul said finally, the darkness was back in his eyes. Pressing my body closer to him I peered up at his torn expression from under my eyelashes, a look I had come to learn her could barely ever resist.

"But I trust you. You wouldn't hurt me," my voice was so soft that it was barely a whisper but it had conviction in it. As the words left my mouth I knew that they were true.

"Come on," Paul's voice was rough as he pulled me towards the motorbike. Around us the trees rustled in the breeze and I could hear waves hitting frantically off the cliffs. As I put the helmet he passed to me over my head I saw his smile returning slowly, his eyes were fixated on me.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I hissed, "Do I have something on my face."

Self consciously I slipped my arms inside of Paul's leather jacket, discreetly hugging the warmth to my body. Dropping my eyes to the ground I waited for Paul to tell me what to do, my stomach was in knots.

"Hey," Paul's voice was gruff as he tilted my head up to look up at him, "That biker gear suits you. You look sexy." A warm blush crept up the length of my neck before reaching my face. Paul smirked at my obvious discomfort as he casually got onto the bike. He thought I was _sexy_? Ha.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Get on behind me and then hold on tight," Paul winked. Actually fucking winked. My palms were sweating as I awkwardly swung my leg over and got on the bike before securely putting my arms around Paul.

"You're going to have to hold on tighter than that," he laughed. A small scream left my mouth as the engine roared to life. Looking behind me I saw everyone standing at the kitchen window laughing at my expense. Karma was a bitch, I was going to teach them all that little lesson when I arrived back at the house, _if_ I arrived back.

"Lets go." Sliding closer to Paul I squeezed my arms tight around his torso as the motorbike sprung to life. Closing my eyes I listened to Paul's 'whoop' of delight as he increased the speed. Wind battered against my face.

"Oh my god. Oh my god," I chanted under my breath. Forcing my eyes open I drunk in the forest passing us in a blur of green. I felt like I was going to vomit. Hiding my head in Paul's back I listened to the comforting sound of his breathing.

It was going to be a long ride.

_Thoughts? _


	22. Wolfs and Vampires

_Once again thank you all so much for your reviews, they are what give me inspiration. Here we go with another chapter. Oh and I have answered some review questions at the end of the chapter. But for now, enjoy…_

I fought the urge to get down on my knees and kiss the ground insistently. Never again. As I had expected I preferred to have my feet firmly on the ground, where I could make the movements and decisions. Even during my ballet career I had preferred to dance alone than have the risk of someone lifting me high in the air. I should probably have been more reckless back then.

"See?" Paul smirked as he ran a leisurely hand through his hair, "That wasn't so bad was it?"

"If your definition of 'not bad' is fighting the urge to throw up, clawing your back the whole ride and feeling slightly dizzy even now then yes, it was fine, otherwise it was hellish," I spat as I leant against a nearby tree trunk. Fighting the urge to shiver I frowned as Paul's eyes seemed to drink me all in; from my mud stained converse to my wind infused hair. He made me feel almost desirable. I never seemed to get comfortable with his intense stare.

"I must admit I might have enjoyed the whole 'clawing at my back' aspect of the journey." I narrowed my eyes as him as he placed his hands firmly on my hips and forced me to look up into his dark eyes full of conflicting emotions.

"Asshole," I muttered under my breath as Paul's smirk continued to grow. The heat from his body seemed to wrap me in a cocoon of safety, his wordless caresses never failed to make my heart stutter violently in my chest.

"You have to uphold your side of the bargain." My voice was no more than a breathless whisper but I could feel the way Paul's body instantly tensed. My mind flashed briefly to Emily's scars and the regret constantly plaguing Sam. I knew that I should have been scared of Paul's wolf form, but my need to really know him seemed to push all of my fears to the back of my mind. He had pulled my shield apart bit by bit to discover the real me, the damaged me but he had never left me. I owed him the same, I owed him more than I could possibly ever put into words.

"It's not pretty," Paul's voice was low as his hands ran up and down the length of my back gently, "I'm glad that you trust me, but-"

"No buts," I snapped placing my hands on his chest in an attempt to push him away from me, "You promised. I don't associate with people who break their promises."

"You don't associate much with anyone," Paul forced his tone to seem light as he stepped away from me. I had never really seen Paul stressed before. His hand shook as he tugged at the end of his hair. It was almost…cute.

"I trust you," I reminded him. Rain drops began to fall lightly to the ground around us as Paul twisted his face into an expression of pain. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. I hated hurting him.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

"I-"

"Close your eyes," he murmured again more fiercely as he took a step towards me. His expression had become almost foreign to me; fragile and open. Chewing hard on my bottom lip I forced myself to close my eyes. The high pitched singing of the birds seemed to become increasingly louder and the slight wind almost sounded like a little girls cries.

"You trust me." I let out an unexpected squeak as I felt Paul's warm breath on my face. As always he treated me like a china doll as one of his thumbs gently traced the darkened circles under my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to hold him to me but I forced myself to stay still, forced myself to keep my eyes closed.

All the breath left me in an unexpected rush as he carefully pressed his lips to mine, barely touching.

"Keep your eyes closed," he murmured against my lips. The wind seemed to stop suddenly as his warm lips pressed more firmly upon mine. They tasted of sunny days and blueberry pancakes, so inviting and gentle. Without opening my eyes I wound my arms urgently around my neck as he tangled his hands within my hair. I gasped as his tongue prodded at the entrance to my mouth.

And then he was gone.

"Paul," I cried out in alarm, I felt slightly dizzy even with my eyes closed, "_Paul_? Where did you go."

"Stay there," his voice was slightly husky and too far away for my liking, "I'm just going to run a little away to change forms so I don't end up hurting you."

Tilting my head to the side I listened to several twigs crack underfoot as he ran away. It felt lonely. Keeping my eyes closed I shuffled backwards until I slid down a tree trunk. My heart was too still, the anticipation making me feel nauseous. Over and over I replayed the feel of his lips on mine, the hunger for more, the static that seemed to crackle between us when we connected. It was almost too perfect. Everything I had wished for and more.

Five minutes passed. My nails were biting into the palm of my hands as I curled my hands into fists. Where the hell was he? Around me the rain grew heavier, the constant slap of rain off the forest floor made me wince. A bad feeling wormed its way into my chest until it almost hurt to breath.

"Paul?" I cried knowing he would hear me even if I whispered, "Paul? This isn't funny. I swear to God I will run you down with Sam's truck over and over again if you don't get the fuck back here, right _now_."

Opening my eyes I was surprised to see that the night had swallowed up the sunshine. My heart skipped a beat. Something was seriously wrong. Wiping my sweaty palms on my mud soaked jeans I waited. And waited.

"Paul?" I whispered urgently. Another twig snapped nearby. Hugging my knees to my chest I painted my most threatening glare on my face. Yet another twig snapped. The footsteps sounded too light to be Paul, almost dainty. My tongue darted out to lick my drying lips as I forced myself not to make a sound.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" The feminine voice almost sounded like a high pitched girl off a really bad television show. Hugging my knees tighter to my chest, my head snapped round to find the source of the voice. I swallowed a scream.

She was stunningly beautiful which immediately flashed warning signs in my head. Her blonde hair was curled up on top of her head and her red eyes seemed to shine in the moonlight. Red eyes. I felt the urge to vomit.

"He has left the pet all alone," she let out a breathy laugh as her very long, very real nails scraped down the length of the tree she was leaning gently against. Her purple painted toe nails peeked through the mud that she stood in.

"So very unusual," she breathed again as she took another delicate step towards me, "So very, very unusual."

"Leave me the fuck alone," I spat, scrambling to my feet. I was many things but weak was not one of them. Pushing the hair from my eyes I glared at the blonde vampire as she took yet another step forward. _Vampire. _I tasted blood in my mouth as I bit down too hard on my lip. The vampire's eyes widened. Damn. Could she really smell it?

"Feisty," she winked at me as if we had known each other for years, "I will enjoy devouring you but first," her smile widened, "I have a friend who would very much enjoy your special company. You see," I let out a hiss as her nails reached out to drag down the length of my face, "he seems to find you some what attracting. Fascinating even. I don't really see the appeal"

Cold seemed to radiate from her, my whole body was tense as she pressed almost completely against me, her tiny body seemed almost breakable but I knew that was far from the case. She could have killed me in a second.

"They are going to kill you," I pressed my whole back against the tree as she stood on her tip toes to peer into my eyes with fascinating.

"The wolfs?" her laugh sent an unpleasant shiver down the length of my spine, "They missed us the first time. We're rather good at hiding. You see," she giggled as if we were sharing our crushes names at a sleepover, "They don't seem to be able to smell us. It's rather peculiar, not that I'm complaining. Hiding Oliver is a little tiresome at times though."

Letting out a scream of frustration I attempted to push by her. In the distance I heard a howl. Oh God. I prayed that Paul was unharmed, and Brady, and everyone.

"You could try and run but after your slight ballet injury," her eyes sparkled with mystery, "I know it wouldn't be long before your leg gave way and it would be far too easy to pick your fragile, little body off the ground. I like a challenge."

"Anna. _Move_!"

Without conscious thought my body dropped to the floor and curled itself into a ball as Brady seemed to phase mid jump over me. The vampire looked bored as she glanced down at her nails before side stepping out of the way of Brady's advances. He aimed for her neck but she just smiled and flipped him off before skipping in the opposite direction.

"Anna," a scream left my throat as someone pulled me into the greenery. Collin's hand slammed over my mouth immediately, his eyes flashed with a warning as he glanced at the fight taking place behind us.

"All the imprints have to commune at Em's. Come on," his pull was almost painful as he dragged me away from the scene. I let out a sigh of relief as I spotted another wolf enter the clearing to help Brady.

As I stumbled out of the forest my mind kept replaying Collin's words. What the hell was an imprint?

_Thoughts? _

_Many reviewers have asked how old everyone is, so here we go:_

_Anna is almost eighteen but could still go into senior year of school at the end of the summer if she wanted to, we'll have to wait and see. _

_Paul is twenty oneish. _

_Brady is eighteen but dropped out of school a year or so ago. _

_The story is obviously set a good few years after the Bella/Edward fiasco. I understand that Claire is probably a little younger than she should be since everyone else seems to have aged, but I just love writing about little Claire. _

_Hope that helps, if you have anymore questions don't hesitate to ask…_


	23. Shocks and Suspense

_Gee. I am just overwhelmed by the response to this story, nearly 500 reviews. Just whew. Thank you so much for pestering me despite my absence. I promise I am not going anywhere now. Sorry this took so long, enjoy…_

Imprint. The word bounced repeatedly off the inside of my head as if trying to torture me. Holding my head in my hands I tried to think of a time when I had heard the word before. It felt familiar to me, the word rolling off my tongue like a long lost friend. But I had absolutely no fucking idea what it meant. It was so damn infuriating. And the loud noises surrounding me weren't really helping with my attempted revelation.

Emily was in a panic. Even with Sam hovering over her like a loose end she was still panicking, her gaze flitting to the kitchen window every three second. Strangely I found myself understanding her emotions. For the first time in what felt like a lifetime we were in sync. Those wolfs were her family. Her love for them seemed to pour out of her in waves. It struck my heart so fiercely that it almost hurt to breath. Her family. Our family was out there fighting for their lives while we sat in a fucking kitchen.

So of course Em did what she always does when she is in a panic. She cooked. Muffins. Chocolate cake. Hotdogs. Everything and anything. The constant clatter of trays and dishes in the sink just seemed to be adding pressure to my pounding headache instead of soothing me as her cooking had done many time before. Even the delicious smells filling the kitchen were making me feel slightly nauseas.

Then there was Claire. I wasn't even sure it was legal for a little girl to look so sad. Her wide eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Never before had I voluntarily wanted to pick her up and smooth down her hair, but at that moment I ached to. Somehow during my turbulent weeks at Em, she had become somewhat of a little sister to me. I couldn't even imagine sleeping in a room without the sound of her soft snores in the room or imagine a rainy day at the beach without her tugging insistently at my hand while her laughter filled the air. I realised it that moment that it was her that brought me alive, who had fought me when I pushed Paul away. She was the reason that I felt so connected to my sister again. She was the reason my heart pounded so furiously in my chest at the thought of Brady or Paul ever getting injured. Claire had been the catalyst in my life that I had needed, the person who had given me a well deserved kick in the ass. I had to move on with my life.

But at that moment in time Claire was annoying me as much as anybody else. The scratching sound of her coloured pencils on the paper in front of me made me wince. It almost sounded worse than someone dragging their nails across a chalkboard. However, what made me flinch the most was what she was drawing in the picture. Our wolfs, all lined up for a fight. She had every tiny detail so accurate that my heart clenched. She knew exactly what was going on. Paul's eyes seemed to stare at me from within the paper. Oh god. I hoped he was alright. It was strange how I could hardly remember a day when he wasn't lurking in the shadows, waiting for me to give in and fall into his arms. The memories made me smile.

But still, the word imprint continued to swirl in my head almost teasingly. I curled my hands into fists, letting my nails bite into the soft flesh of my palm. Forcefully I tried to ignore Sam and Emily as the exchanged hushed, desperate whispers. They knew fine well that I didn't like to be left out of the loop. My mouth seemed to go dry as the red, liquid eyes of the vampire who had tormented me flashed in my mind. She had seemed so wicked, intent on killing anybody who got in her way. It was me they wanted, me who her fellow vampire seemed to have a fascination with. The air seemed to grow heavy around me until I was almost suffocating. Gritting my teeth together to combat the pain I pushed away from the table.

"I need some air," I gasped already heading for the door. In an instant Em's hand was on my arm, her tiny hand almost crushing my bones. Her eyes were narrowed in a silent warning. She was scaring me.

"This isn't a time for your games," her soft voice sounded incredibly loud in the tense silence of the kitchen, "You can't just wander off. There are vampires out there. I can't lose you." Her voice cracked at the end and I had to avert my eyes as Sam wrapped his arms carefully around her from behind. His whole body seemed to shake slightly.

"I'm going out there." he voice was strained and I followed his eyes to the edge of the forest where Collin's wolf form was pacing up and down." Emily's eyes went wide with fear as she clutched at Sam's chest.

"But you're supposed to be cutting back on phasing. You promised. The _baby_."

I clutched onto the side of the kitchen table as Sam tenderly kissed his wife on the cheek. My heartbeat seemed to still for a moment as Em's cheeks flushed a deep red.

"I will be back but I am still there alpha." We both watched silently as Sam ran out of the door, his hand lingered on Em's stomach just a minute longer than it should. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to hug my sister and talk for hours on end about names and cravings but instead we stayed silent, none of us mentioned the exchange that had taken place only moments before. It was not the time.

Collapsing back onto my wobbly, wooden chair I ignored Claire's sound of protest as I pulled her onto my lap. I needed something to hold, something firm that I would never let go of. Em's face was guarded as she sank into the chair opposite me, only the scratch of Claire's pencil on paper could be heard. My big sister was pregnant. The thought seemed to consume me. Our men were out there fighting for their lives. I took a shaky breath. Everything was such a mess.

"Em?" I whispered, "What the hell is an imprint?"

Somehow I just knew that she was part of the puzzle that I was unsuccessfully trying to piece together. Her frown at my question spoke volumes. It was like we were little kids again, hiding in the cupboard in my room as we shared our secrets. There had never been anyone I had leaned on more until I had met Paul. She was my big sister after all.

"I don't think it's my place to tell you that," I didn't miss the way her hand fluttered automatically to her stomach as she spoke. Claire's breathing became heavy and I noticed that her pencil had stopped moving. I pulled her closer to my chest.

"Em," I hated how weak I sound, how vulnerable I had become, "You are my sister. I need you. Please. _Please_ just tell me." Her hand reached across the table to grab mine. Her grip was so strong and sure even in the middle of chaos. I envied her strength.

"It's a wolf thing," her eyes strayed to the window as she spoke, "Imprinting is magical and extraordinary. Stronger than love at first sight. When a wolf sees his imprint everything seems to disappear around them, they are bound to that person for the rest of their life." My mind narrowed in on the word 'bound'. My arms tightened around Claire as if protecting her from some unknown enemy. An imprint. I was an imprint? Suddenly, I remembered where I had seen the word before.

"Like ducks?" I murmured remembering a book I had glanced over, the words almost fell from my mouth. Emily's lips curled up at the sides almost without permission. Laughter glinted in her eyes.

"Sort of," she smiled, "But so much stronger. When Paul saw you everything would have disappeared around him. You are his main concern. There is no bond stronger than that of an imprint. You are soul mates. Destiny has brought you together."

All I could think was, poor Paul. He was forced to love a damaged, bitter girl with stone for a heart. Where was the justice in that? He could have imprinted on a beautiful, smiling girl with ambitious dreams but instead he got stuck with me. Anna. A failure. A girl with issues.

Somewhere deep inside me I had truly believed that he had looked past those issues and seen the girl I had once been, the person that sill many be lurking behind my problems. I had thought that he might have found my insults almost endearing but it was all a lie. One big, fat lie. He was forced to love me.

I felt numb and I really needed a cigarette.

_Thoughts? _

_I realise this is quite short and I apologise but my plan is to update several times over the Christmas break which is coming up. So don't worry. There is much more to follow. _


	24. Denial and Danger

_As always, thank you all so much for the reviews. They continue to make me smile. Here we go with another chapter…_

The numbness didn't recede. Instead, it seemed to spread throughout my entire body, contaminating my blood until it finally reached my shrivelled heart. I smiled at Claire's pathetic attempt to joke but I didn't really smile. I clutched at Emily's hand and cried with her as we stared out of the window after out men, but I didn't really cry. I ate but I didn't taste anything. I slammed my hand in my bedroom door but I didn't feel any pain. I felt nothing. Nada. Fuck all.

In a way it was even worse than when Poppy had died. At least then I had felt something. Burning anger had fuelled my every movement, my every thought. My bitterness had consumed me but at least I had felt _something_. Paul had even stolen that away from me. Some days I thought about hitting him until my knuckles bruised. Other days I thought about desperately pushing my lips against his. Neither scenario brought me any sense of feeling. Instead I sat on Em's worn armchair watching the rain make intricate patterns on the window as I trailed Claire's hair through my fingers. I was a shadow of myself.

It had been five days since I had last set eyes on a wolf. Well, I had seen the blur of Brady as he ran by the kitchen window and a glimpse of Sam as he snuck down the hallway in the middle of the night towards the sounds of Emily's muffled crying. It had been five days since I had cowered in terror from the strange, English vampire yet she still appeared in my dreams, her red eyes staring at me from the distance. But I never screamed, instead I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. I was stronger than she was, I had to be. I was numb. I felt nothing.

Then everything changed, for what felt like the hundredth time since I had stumbled into La Push wearing my ridiculously high heels. On the sixth day when I woke up, Paul was lying beside me. I stared at him for a while. His arm was draped casually over my exposed stomach where my top had inched up. His feet were entangled with mine. A serene smile was fixed upon his face even in his slumber. He was devastatingly beautiful. We seemed to join together perfectly even in our slumber. It was right about then that my heart squeezed just the tiniest bit and I knew I had to get the hell away from him. Holding my breath I shuffled out of his grasp and let the numbness devour me once again as I tip toed from the room. He didn't need me. I didn't need him. We were the kind of beings who strived for greatness on our own terms; no stupid magic would ever change that.

The kitchen was a hive of activity. Em sat on Sam's lap, her grin breathtakingly wide as she occasionally stole pieces of bacon from his plate. They seemed so light and carefree. What the hell was wrong with her? I tried to get rid of the image of her hugging her knees as she sobbed quietly only two nights before. Imprinting wasn't magical, it was nauseatingly devastating. Emily was an example of that. From the other side of the room Brady grinned at me, spraying cereal all over the place as Collin thumped him in the back. I smiled, one of my fake mandatory smiles. He bought it. I was becoming a rather great actress; maybe I should have explored acting after my failed ballet attempt. Maybe then I would have never have been captivated by the beaches and endless fresh air that was La Push.

"It's all over then?" I spoke in a monotone as I walked automatically towards the toaster. My body was going about its daily activities without any interaction from my brain. It was almost robotic. My face didn't alter as I caught Brady wincing from the corner of my eye or Em clutching at Sam tighter. So. It wasn't over. Of course not. It never seemed to be over when I was involved.

"No," Sam murmured as I frowned at the empty packet of bread before me. Seth was smirking slightly at me as he rubbed his stomach contentedly. I glared at him, a fake glare. He always ate all the damn food. Changing tactics I went in search of the cereal box trying to forget the half naked man lying in my bed while listening to Sam.

"We lost them," Sam admitted as he ran a tired hand through his hair, "We lost their scent. Hopefully they won't be back. But we're going to double patrols. Don't worry, you'll be safe." That was the problem. I wasn't worrying, at all. I waited for the blind panic to hit me, to start hyperventilating as my nightmare replayed itself over and over and over. Instead, I stared at the empty cereal box before me and pouted. Stupid wolves.

"I'm starving," I realised the words were true as soon as they spilled from my mouth, "Anyone want to join me at the Diner for breakfast?"

Everyone was silent as they exchanged worried glances. It was the type of glance that the nurses had exchanged in the pshyc ward when someone randomly burst into song or said something completely off topic. They thought I was crazy. Just fantastic.

"Anna," Brady pushed away from the counter as his eyes surveyed me from head to toe, "You do realise what we just said? We lost them. You're not safe. Are you in shock or-"

"No," I spoke clearly as I tried to remember where I had last seen my converse, "I heard you but you have eaten all the damn food. If you don't let me go to the Diner then I'll die due to starvation instead of a vampire attack," my voice grew increasingly louder as I heard movement from above me, "and besides you'll be with me. My own personal protector." Brady raised his eyes at the complete bullshit that had just spilled from my mouth. I curled and uncurled my toes repeatedly in an attempt to keep my face neutral. I had to get out of the house before Paul appeared down the stairs. I didn't like the contradicting emotions that consumed me when I saw him. Being numb was easier, less time consuming.

"I-I don't know," Brady reached up to run a hand through his non existent hair as I gritted my teeth in frustration. I really had to think hard about investing in a new, reckless best friend. Brady didn't seem up to the challenge. I tried to keep my face neutral as he examined me once again from head to toe. Sam was tilting his head to the side as he too looked at me. It was damn infuriating. I felt like I was on display in a fucking art museum. I caught sight of my reflection in the surface of the kitchen counter. There was nothing special about me. Nada. So, I wished they would stop looking at me.

"Just let her go," Emily sighed. She was the one person who I thought would have been completely against me leaving the house, yet as I saw the glint of understanding grow in here eyes I realised that our sisterly bond seemed stronger than ever. She was the only other person, besides Claire, who had been cooped up in the house for days waiting for something, anything to happen. It had been simply soul destroying. I chewed on my bottom lip as she shuffled around on Sam's lap with a smile on her face. She was so blissfully happy. I pushed away the envy that attempted to consume me.

Without another sound I grabbed Brady's hand too tightly and led him towards the door. I painted a fake glare on my face when Collin tried to follow us. I couldn't deal with anyone beside Brady; it would have taken too much effort. When the floorboards creaked above us I ran past my jacket pulling Brady along behind me. Only when I was sitting in the passenger seat of Sam's truck did I allow myself to exhale and push the image of Paul to the back of my mind. I didn't need him. I really didn't. Brady smiled softly at me from the driver's seat.

Just over twenty minutes later I was slouched in my favourite booth at the Diner. Brady's foot knocked continuously against mine underneath the table and his hand stroked my arm in an attempt to warm me up. He was being too damn nice. His eyebrows were raised as he skimmed over the faded, familiar menu. I was surprised that he couldn't recite every meal on it off the top of his head.

"What do you want to eat?" His contagious grin was too wide as he peered at me over the menu. He knew something was off with me; it was hard to hide my numbness from Brady. Surprisingly hard. He was my best friend. My only friend. I needed him like I needed air to breath. He was the only one that kept me sane in a world full of fantasy.

Pressing my hand against my stomach I willed myself to feel ravenous as I had done only minutes earlier but instead I felt nothing. Not even the thought of a slice of Em's melted chocolate cake could make my stomach rumble.

"I'm not hungry anymore," I murmured toying with a loose strand of my hair. The Diner was sweltering hot, the numerous bodies and noise surrounding me made me feel suddenly claustrophobic. Brady narrowed his eyes as he grabbed my hand tightly within his. Glancing up I tried to look into his eyes but instead all I could see were Paul's troubled ones gazing intently at me. I shook my head from side to side in an attempt to get Paul out of my head. I didn't want to be in some stupid, magical relationship. I just wanted to be alone, that was how I functioned the best.

"What is wrong with you? Is the whole vampire thing scaring you?" Brady was almost cross eyed in concentration as he stared at me. Glancing around the Diner I spotted a group of girls laughing, their faces flushed and smiling. A boy and a girl sat in another booth smiling shyly at each other. An old woman watched as her granddaughter ate an ice cream sundae. They were all so normal. That was all I wanted.

"I'm perfectly fine," I told Brady. The lie felt sour in my mouth. I tried to rip my hand away from his but he continued to hold on too tightly. If he gave me a bruise I would murder him in his sleep.

"You're obviously not. You're-" Brady was cut of as a tiny, blonde girl stumbled towards our table. Her converse were untied and the apron she wore was covered with stains. Her hair fell over her eyes and her nails were painted a chipped blue colour. To be kind, she was a mess. It almost made me feel better to see someone more dysfunctional than me.

"H-hi," she stuttered, her hand shaking, "W-what can I get you to eat today?"

Brady's eyes left mine as he turned to glance in annoyance at the girl. She was interrupting his interrogation after all. It was then that I witnessed the 'magic' and the glue that had been holding my life together seemed to evaporate. I watched as Brady's eyes softened and then widened as he looked into the eyes of the klutzy, blonde girl. He blinked once, twice. The girl twisted her hands shyly as Brady continued to stare shamelessly at her. I kicked him under the table hard but he didn't even seem to notice. A small smile grew on his face.

He had imprinted.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Uhm. W-what would y-you like to order?" the girl repeated. Everything seemed to spin around me. Brady ignored me as I continued to kick him. I had been replaced by the love of his life in an instant. He didn't even know her. She looked lost as she glanced at me for help. Brady was acting like a love sick puppy. I glared at her. She had stolen the one thing I had left. Brady had succumbed to the magic.

"Excuse me," I hissed pushing by her and heading for the door. Brady's eyes seemed to follow my departure but he made no attempt to move. He was a goner.

Falling out into the rain I inhaled the cold air before letting out a scream. It seemed to linger in the air like something ugly and desperate. People glared at me from within their cars. Turning abruptly I headed away from the Diner and towards the woods. If the vampires wanted me that much, they could have me.

"Anna," a familiar voice called behind me.

No. No way. I could not look at him. Quickening my pace I walked into the rain as I headed desperately towards the woods. I choked back a sob. Everything was such a mess.

"Anna!" My skin felt as if it had been burned as Paul grabbed tightly onto my arm. How the hell had he found me? I struggled to get out of his grasp without looking him in the eye. My heart thumped too loudly in my chest. Curling my hands into fists I hit out at him again and again. He didn't make a sound of protest. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

"Anna. _Anna_," he breathed as he pinned my arms to my side, "What the hell is wrong with you?" I faltered as he brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. I blinked the tears from my eyes. Everything was wrong with me.

"Were you ever going to tell me that I was your fucking imprint Paul?" His jaw seemed to go slack for a second and I watched as raindrops trailed down his face. He didn't even seem to notice. I stopped struggling against him.

"That is why you are so mad?" his voice was barely a hushed whisper, "Why does it even matter? I love you Anna, I adore you. I-"

"Of course it matters," I yelled against the wind, "You are forced to love me. You didn't fall for my sarcasm or my problems. You don't deserve this. Let's just pretend the past few weeks even happened. I am not the person you are supposed to love." Ripping myself out of his grasp, I stumbled away from him.

"Stop being so dramatic," he snapped and for a minute I saw a glimpse of the real Paul, the one I loved to argue with, "Of course I would have fallen in love with you eventually even without the imprint. You're hilarious and feisty. I love to argue with you. I love to laugh with you. I love the way you take care of Claire. You fit perfectly into La Push. You're perfect."

"I am far from perfect Paul," I barked out a croaky laugh, "I'm a mess. I just want to be normal."

"You are anything but normal," he whispered, his voice husky. The rain seemed to still around us. The line between love and hate had never been so thin. Paul suddenly stiffened beside me.

"Well, well," the high, feminine voice sent shivers down my spine and I automatically sidled closer to Paul as I saw the blonde haired vampire emerge from the shadows, "As much as I hate to break up this little love fest I am beginning to get rather impatient. And hungry."

Paul tightened his grip around my waist. Her red eyes seemed to narrow in on me. I tried not to move an inch as he bent down to my level.

"Run," Paul whispered.

_Thoughts? _

_Merry Christmas everyone. I hope to update just after Christmas. _


	25. Traps and Taunts

_Uhm. Yeah. Hi. I am so sorry it has been so long. Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews. Don't worry, I know exactly what is going to happen in the next few chapters so there *hopefully* will not be that long between updates. But for now. Enjoy…_

Of course, I didn't run fast enough.

In my defence she did have the advantage of super vampire speed. Also, my dodgy leg wasn't much use either. For a ballerina, I was strangely uncoordinated. Anyway, those were the excuses I would come up with minutes later but in reality I only stumbled three short steps before she grabbed me easily from behind. She had a rather tight grip. Paul snarled nearby but she didn't even flinch.

Her breath was icy on my neck sending a shiver down my spine. I winced as she continued to tighten her grip as if to test how breakable I truly was.

"Let her go," Paul's voice was dangerously low and menacing. His growl grew louder as she pushed my hair to the side and seemed to almost inhale my scent. It baffled me how my blood could smell good. The thought was just disgusting.

"Just divine," she smiled as she continued to ignore Paul. I flinched as a rare splash of sunshine shone on her teeth making them seem even sharper. It would have been so easy for her to grip my arms just the tiniest bit tighter and crush all of my bones to dust. What I didn't understand was, why she didn't. She stiffened beside me as Paul crouched over, his form blurred as he continued to shake. He was going to get himself killed protecting me. I sighed. It was so not a time to be playing the hero.

"Paul," I spat, "You fucking idiot. Leave me here."

The vampire's laugh sent more shivers down my spine. It was unnatural and musical sounding. It was the kind of laugh that would lure men to their deaths and cause women to blush with insecurity in her presence. I hated her.

"He won't leave you darling," she cooed as she trailed a single red painted nail down the length of my face, "The magic bounds him to you. It is simply fascinating."

I swallowed the bile that had risen in my throat as she mentioned the imprint. Maybe she was right. Maybe he would be better off without me mucking up his life.

"I love her, you _bitch_," Paul snarled as he restrained himself from taking another step forwards, "And if you touch her, I will snap your body into thousands of tiny pieces and toss it in the fire."

"You don't scare me," her voice was calm as she settled her dainty hands on the tops of my shoulders, I could feel her nails digging into my skin, "You wouldn't dare advance when you know I could snap Anna's pretty little neck in seconds."

"Do it," I dared her trying to stop my voice from cracking. Paul's eyes grew darker as he glared at me. The amount of fear and love I could see shining in them made my heart clench desperately in my chest. I inhaled sharply as the vampire laughed again.

"We thought about taking Claire; the sweet little baby who everyone loves. Or Emily; the mother wolf. Oh and then there was pregnant Kim of course. But then you came along," I shivered as she tilted my head up to look into her red eyes, "You're the dear sister. Brady's best friend. And of course the most violent werewolf's imprint. You're just perfect."

"If you touch her I'll-"

"Then of course there's my friend; Roberto who adores you. He is going to have such fun playing with you before I finish the meal," she interrupted Paul easily, her voice as sharp as glass. Swiping furiously at my eyes I tried to stop useless tears from overflowing. Paul's arm reached out as if in an attempt to reach me. In that moment I didn't care that I was angry with him, I didn't care that we worked better alone. In that moment my one wish was that he wouldn't watch me suffer as I had watched Poppy. He didn't deserve any more pain in his life.

"The pack will find you," I muttered as she reached down to grip my hand in hers. It would only be a matter of time. Brady would look for me. I could feel the colour slipping from my face as I thought of Brady. He had imprinted. My whole world seemed to spin around me. It could take him hours to realise I was in danger. He would be so wrapped up in his ditzy blonde that he wouldn't spare a second thought for me. Damn imprinting. All it ever caused was pain.

"Don't count on it. I'm hard to track," she winked as she dragged me backwards into the trees. I shot a desperate look at Paul. My heart quickened in my chest, it made me nauseous to know that she would be able to hear it. In that moment all I wanted was to hide in Paul's arms as he kissed me continuously on the head. I was so weak.

She tugged me along for what felt like hours. Paul was close on our heel, his breathing laboured as he shot me continuous looks of desperation. There was nothing he could do unless he wanted to hurt me in the process. I wished he would just run away in an attempt get help.

"Do me a favour and don't cut yourself on the branches. I'm not sure if I could restrain myself from eating you right now if you started bleeding all over the place," the vampire whispered in my ear.

"Why don't you just drain me right now?" I hissed as she halted to a stop outside of a small, wooden cabin, "What does this Roberto guy have over you that makes you so afraid?"

Her red eyes flickered to mine. In that moment I could of sworn that I saw a hint of unease hidden within them. One point to me. I curled my lips into a smirk as she eventually glared at me.

"Let's get this straight little girl," she murmured as she pulled at the ends of my hair, "I am not afraid of anything. Roberto loves me and I love him. But I would never deprive him of his fun."

"Sure he loves you," I forced myself to roll my eyes in her direction. Paul was crouched beside a nearby tree, his eyes were wide as he listened to my taunts. She let out a short breath of laughter before grabbing me by the neck. It still amazed me that such delicate hands could hold so much power. She would be the perfect assassin.

"You," she kept a tight hold on my neck as she turned to look at Paul, "Go inside the Cabin and sit on the chair on the left hand side."

Paul's tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tried to asses the situation. Narrowing my eyes at him I tried to silently tell him to get the hell away from the crazy ass vampire. There was no point in both of us getting killed. Besides, he would be the only one willing to ban my mother form my funeral. I still hadn't forgiven her.

"Over my dead body. You bitch," he snarled, "I am not following the orders of a leech."

I gasped as her hands tightened around my neck. The surrounding forest seemed to become blurry and I could see the panic in Paul's eyes as I struggled for air.

"Do as you're told wolf or I will strangle poor little Anna to death. You wouldn't want that on your conscious now, would you?"

Fighting against her strong grip I tried to kick her, spit at her, anything. A dull ache began to appear in my leg as I continued to struggle. I was getting tired. So very tired.

"Alright, alright," Paul snapped as blackness began to seep into the edges of my vision, "Let her go and I'll go inside."

Greedily, I inhaled all of the air around me as her grip eventually slackened. I watched the burning anger in Paul's eyes as he backed away from me and into the cabin. His whole body shook. I hated being used as a bargaining chip. Slowly, I was beginning to realise that Paul would do anything for me and that the stupid leech was using that to her advantage. I prayed that he at least had some sort of plan to get us home alive.

"What's are you going to do?" I croaked as Paul finally disappeared inside the cabin, "If you lock us in there, Paul will break down a wall down in a second."

"You're lack of faith in my creative skills is slightly hurtful," she grinned as she began pulling me in the direction of the building. A wolf howled in the distance causing both of us to stiffen. Maybe they were looking for us after all.

"Look -" I drew a blank as I tried to remember her name. Maybe appealing to her human side would give us more time.

"Isla. My name is Isla." Her eyes were sharp as she looked around the surrounding undergrowth. A growl sounded from inside the Cabin as she grabbed tighter onto my wrist causing me to gasp in pain. Paul was going to get us both killed quicker if he didn't shut the hell up.

"Look Isla," I mumbled, "You were human once. You had hopes and dreams. I'm sure you had a family too. You're not a murderer, you're just a scared vampire. Roberto doesn't love you, he's just using you to get what he wants."

"I have been a vampire for fifty-six years and in that time I have killed thousands of people. I get high on the screams of dying people. You, little girl, are not going to change me. There is nothing special about you apart from your wolfy boyfriend so don't start to get all big headed and think you can change a vampire."

Paul let out a stream of curses as I stumbled into the cabin. Before I could even blink she had tied Paul's arms to his chair. I bit back a laugh, did she really think that was going to restrain him? But then Isla's icy hands were on me as she pushed me onto a chair facing Paul's and tied me tightly to it. The tight rope burned my skin.

"Don't even think about moving dog," she smirked as she took a step back from me to view her creation, "If you move the rope attached to your arm will move to causing an electric shock to run throughout the entire length of Anna's body and then that axe over there," we both followed her line of sight, "will swing directly towards her neck. You won't even have time to declare your undying love for her."

I swallowed loudly.

"I hate you," I snarled as Paul looked blankly down at his arms. We were stuck. A trickle of sweat ran down the length of my back as I looked towards the axe again. It would easily slice me in half.

"Really?" she laughed, "I hadn't noticed. Now enjoy your last few hours together. The stink in this room is giving me a headache and besides I have a little wolfy problem to deal with."

I watched in silence as she sprinted from the room. Closing my eyes I tried to stay strong for Paul. It wouldn't do him any good to see me break down. I was going to die and I just had to accept that.

But there was no way in hell that I was letting Paul go down with me.

_Thoughts? _


	26. Hell and Rage

_As always, thank you for the reviews. Here's a nice, short chapter before the real drama begins. Enjoy…_

Emily's POV

Something was wrong.

Pushing the hair from my face I leant over the counter to open another window. Seth sat at the kitchen table salivating over my freshly baked muffins while Sam's careful eyes followed my every movement. A bad feeling tugged at my gut as I automatically picked up a knife to start cutting up the vegetables.

"Are you alright?" I let out a surprised gasp as Sam snaked his arms around my waist. His warmth pressed against my back and the knife slipped from my hand as I clutched onto the kitchen counter. He was too damn warm. Wriggling out of his tight grip I peered into the soup pot.

"I'm fine," I murmured as Collin walked into the kitchen rubbing at his eyes with exhaustion. Chewing on my lip I bypassed Sam to glare at Collin.

"You need to sleep," I tried to keep my voice strict as he sniffed the air. My soup was his favourite thing to eat. Brady and him routinely scoffed it down on a regular basis. My eyes flickered to the clock as I thought of Brady, Anna and him had been gone for just over two hours. My stomach twisted anxiously. They would walk through the door any minute, I was sure of it. They had too.

"You're one to talk," Collin grinned at me as he plucked one of my rolls from the kitchen counter. I frowned at him as he took a seat beside Seth. Behind me, Sam growled lowly. Stupid men.

"Excuse me? Is that your way of trying to tell me I look like shit?" I forced myself to laugh. He was right though, the pregnancy had been taking it's toll on me. When Sam had been hunting the vampires I had felt like a ghost haunting my own home. The morning sickness was horrendous and even the smell of my own cooking made me feel slightly nauseous at times.

"No!" Collin exclaimed as he glanced nervously at Sam, "You always look gorgeous Em. I just saw you sitting on the back porch in the middle of the night last night and cooking early this morning. You must be knackered."

"I'm fine Collin," I assured him as my eyes glanced towards the clock once again. Paul had been sent out to find them and bring them home. The Diner couldn't have been that busy. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest as I turned to look out of the kitchen window. My palms were sweating.

"Why didn't you wake me up if you couldn't sleep?" Sam whispered in my ear. I leant into his side as a burst of laughter sounded from the lounge. I loved having such a full house. I couldn't imagine living in silence without the pack surrounding me. It was hard to even remember the times when I had shared a room with Anna, our whispers seemingly too loud in the quiet house. My house was never going to be like that, ever. I craved laughter.

"You were tired," I smiled as I reached up to kiss him lightly on the cheek, "I just wanted time to think and make some food without anyone smashing anything."

"You can talk to me about anything," his face was serious as he looked down at me. Beside us Seth and Collin made kissy faces at each other while Claire skipped into the room with a big grin on my face. She laughed as Quil ran in and swooped her up easily into his arms. I hoped she never lost the laughter in her eyes.

"I know," I murmured as I continued to watch Claire, "But you know me. I worry about everything and anything. I just want everyone to be safe." My voice caught on the word 'safe' and I gripped onto the edge of the counter as my eyes strayed to the window again. The bad feeling seemed to manifest.

"Anna will be fine," Sam whispered softly in my ear sending a shiver down my spine, "She's a big girl. She'll probably saunter in shouting at Paul for something and laugh at how worried you are."

Turning on the tap I tried to keep my hand from shaking as I reached for a plate. Biting on my lip I searched for answers in Sam's comforting eyes. Squeezing his hand tightly I realised that perhaps I was a little sleep deprived after all.

"I need a holiday," I laughed bleakly as I scrubbed at the plate. Claire laughed as Quil chased her around the table while Collin's eyes were beginning to close. Sam raised his eyebrows at me as he handed me another plate.

"I promise, once this is all over I'll take you on that honeymoon that we never had." We both looked towards the wedding photos hanging crookedly on the wall. I smirked as I spotted Anna at the edge of the group, a sneer on her face and a bottle of wine in her outstretched hand. She had grown up so much in the short time that she had been in La Push. I owed Paul so much. I had missed my fun little sister. She had finally began to smile again.

"And you'll cook for me and give me foot rubs?" I winked at Sam while he scrunched up his nose. He looked too cute. Water sloshed over the edges of the basin as a plate slipped from my grasp.

"Anything for you," he rolled his eyes as his hand drifted automatically towards my stomach, "Now go and read a book or something before you fall asleep washing the dishes. You wouldn't want to smash anything, would you?"

Sticking my tongue out at him I made my way into the lounge; all the while pushing away the biting feeling in my stomach. Anna would be just fine with Paul and Brady. They wouldn't let anything happen to her in a million years.

Ten minutes passed. My eyes re-read the same line for the fifth time as Claire snuggled up against Quil on the armchair opposite mine.

Forty minutes passed. My book lay open on my lap as I watched spits of rain fall outside. Quil asked me quietly if I was alright but I only stared blankly at him in return. Claire snored softly in her sleep.

One hour passed. Abandoning my book on the floor I winced as the heavy rain battered off the windows. Chewing my nails my eyes followed the minute hand of the clock. Quil looked worried.

Something was seriously wrong.

After two hours I stood up abruptly and made my way to the front door. Vomit rose in my throat as I gripped the keys for Sam's truck tightly in my hand.

"Sam," Quil called, "I think there's something wrong with Emily."

Sam was beside me in an instant, his eyes stormy as he took in my heavy breathing and red rimmed eyes. My hands shook as I pushed open the front door.

"Babe," we stood in the open doorway as the rain fell around us, "Where are you going? There's vampires out there."

"Exactly Sam," I spat as I turned away from him, "Anna has been out there for hours. She hasn't been right for days and we know the blonde one was specifically after her. I need to find her."

"Em-" he began as he hesitantly reached out to grab my arm. I turned to glare at him as I wiped irrational tears from my eyes.

"Don't you 'Em' me," I growled as I continued to walk away from him, "Something is wrong and I am tired of sitting around and doing nothing."

"Okay," he said simply causing me to stop and stare blankly at him, "If you believe something is truly wrong then we should go and check it out but if you think I am letting you go to the Diner alone then pregnancy really has made you crazy."

It was during moments like that I realised how much I valued Sam's friendship as well as his love. I had missed him far too damn much when he had been off hunting vampires. Flinging my arms around his neck I inhaled his familiar scent.

"Thank you," I sniffed as I clung onto him.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the Diner ten minutes later was Brady's love sick expression. He sat in a booth alone, his eyes following the every movement of a tiny blonde girl who continuously tripped over her own feet. Standing at the door, it took me only a minute to realise what had occurred and another millisecond to realise that Anna was nowhere to be seen.

"Remember he cant help it," Sam hissed as I took a single step forward. Quickening my pace I curled my hands into fists as I walked to stand in front of Brady. I fought the urge to lunge at him as he craned his neck to look over me in order to continue watching the blonde girl.

"Where's Anna?" I spoke through gritted teeth as he continued to ignore me. Standing up to my full height I prepared myself for the pain before my hand shot out to slap him on the face. The Diner fell silent as the slap echoed throughout.

"Where's Anna?" I repeated becoming slightly hysterical. Sam stood beside me; he seemed to radiate alpha and for that I was grateful. Brady blinked and looked at me as if he had just woken up from a long nap.

"She left a while back," he sounded panicked as he looked between Sam and I, "What's happened? Is she alright?"

I collapsed into the seat across from Brady as I tried to regulate my breathing. My little sister was missing, again. And my hand stung that a bitch.

"When did she leave?" Sam's voice was unwavering as he continued to stare at Brady. He was always so strong and reliable. I hugged my knees to my chest trying to think of all the places that she could have gone to.

"I-I don't know," Brady struck his head off the wall behind him as he closed his eyes. My heart felt like it was about to implode. I couldn't lose her again. I couldn't. A lone tear fell from my eye and I failed to notice as the tiny, blonde girl walked over to us.

"I-I know I s-shouldn't be listening," Brady's eyes immediately snapped open as she hesitantly spoke to Sam, "But a g-girl stormed out about two hours ago. Sh-she looked pretty upset."

"Thank you," I whispered as I grabbed the girl in a tight hug.

Looking meaningfully at Sam over her shoulder I tried to convey my worry to him in a single look. He simply nodded his head and Brady immediately stood up. The pack was on red alert and it was highly possible that my sister had been abducted by a vampire.

I was in hell, again.

_Thoughts? _


	27. Deals and Denial

_Hi y'all. As always, thank you for the reviews. We're nearing the end of this fic now but here I am with another chapter. Enjoy…_

**Anna's POV**

Silence stretched between us. A million unanswered questions hung in the chilling air and the affection that I suddenly felt for the man across from me seemed to stab me harder than a thousand knives. My life seemed to stretch out before me like a sea of lies and unfulfilled dreams. I wanted to change it all.

"We're going to be okay," Paul's voice sounded desperate. His hands clutched at the side of his chair and I tried to shy away from his calculating eyes. It unnerved me that he seemed to be able to read my emotions in a single glance. It pained me to see my own fear mirrored in his eyes. We had to be strong. We were always the strong ones.

"I know," I murmured. My false hope seemed to loud in the quiet of the cabin. I thought of Isla and her blood, red eyes. She had looked at me the same way that I evaluated a burger; trying to decide which half is going to taste the best. I was going to die, that much was apparent, and my last few hours were going to be spent with the most arrogant, big headed ass in the world. It worried me that I couldn't think of any better way to end my life. He had become a bigger part of me than I had ever thought possible.

"We are," Paul spoke again, his voice was stronger. I looked into his eyes again. The fear was still there but the determination was brighter. Swallowing loudly I watched as he evaluated the rope tied to his wrist. I sighed.

"Paul," I hated how fragile my voice sounded, "Please stop trying to be the hero. You can't do anything, unless your plan is to end my life before she has the chance." My eyes flickered to the glittering silver of the axe. My neck prickled. I quite liked having my head attached to my shoulder. Paul tensed as he followed my line of sight. We were in a lose, lose situation. It truly sucked.

"The pack will be here soon," his eyes darkened as he looked at the open door; it seemed to be taunting us. Closing my eyes I wondered briefly if Brady had been able to detach himself from his imprint in order to even find out about my disappearance. I could almost hear the sound of Claire's laughter as Quil tossed her up into the air. I could almost smell Em's chocolate cake and see her smile as Sam kissed her softly on the cheek. My heart ached for them. Paul's gruff cough seemed to startle me from my thoughts.

"You are one annoying man," I smiled hesitantly in his direction. He rolled his eyes as he clenched and unclenched his hands into fists. It was a habit of mine that he seemed to have picked up on over the months. Just like the way I ran my hand through my hair when I was nervous like he did and the sarcastic smirk that I used on Brady when he was getting on my last nerve.

"I wish had taken you to meet my Mum before now." Paul's words seemed to knock the air from my lungs. It was the single, greatest compliment that anyone had ever paid me in my life. People had called me 'beautiful' once upon a time, some even called me 'talented.' Somehow Paul's words seemed to trump all of that. It was then that I realised how deeply he wanted to love me.

"Really?" I whispered. I wondered what my own Mum would think about Paul. She would probably recoil in fear from his riotous laughter and squirm in discomfort when he told one of his awful jokes. Paul would make her feel like the worst person in the world for ever leaving me in La Push even though he had gained from my abandonment. It would be perfect and I would have loved every moment of it.

"She thinks I'm annoying too," he shrugged in answer to my question, "And arrogant and a bit of an ass at times." My smile grew wider as he spoke. She sounded perfect to me.

"What were you like before you were a wolf?" I wondered aloud. To me, he was the fiercest person that I knew. He personified the wolf that I knew he was, but I couldn't help but wonder if he had always been the way he was. Secretly I hoped that he had an awkward stage in his teenage years but somehow I doubted that. Nothing seemed awkward about Paul. He seemed so at ease with himself and I continuously envied him for that.

"I was an even bigger ass than I am now," I watched the way his eyes fell to the ground as if to avoid my gaze, "I didn't try at school. I slept with many girls," I couldn't help but wince at that revelation, "I drunk a lot of alcohol, I partied, I smoked-"

"You _smoked_?" I cried; the rope cut into my wrists as I leant forward, "You hypocrite. All you ever do is lecture me about smoking and partying." He smirked at my narrowed eyes and red face. He was such a complicated puzzle.

"That's because I know why you do it. I was stupid then, all I wanted was an escape just like you do. But it doesn't help. It just gives you something to become more dependent on. It makes you weak," his voice seemed to sink into my soul. I found myself wishing that I had witnessed the transformation from the boy to the man that had obviously occurred.

"I wish I could have seen you then. Just for a second," he grinned at me as I spoke, "It would have been so refreshing to see you let loose. I feel safe with you but sometimes I wish I didn't. It's alright to make mistakes. I should know, I've fucked up enough times in my life."

"The past doesn't define us," Paul was insistent as if he was trying to wipe our slates clean but it wasn't that easy. I admired him for trying though.

"True," I spoke quietly, "However, the past is a part of us. I couldn't imagine a life without dancing or Poppy or Emily's snoring in the same room. Those things are a part of me just like your rebellious days. Young Paul is still a part of you despite how much you might want to push him away."

"When did you get so wise?" Paul asked.

"I've always been wise," I stuck my tongue out at him as his eyes flickered to the axe above me again. Life was just so damn complicated. If only we had been normal and met in a crowded bar. I could almost imagine meeting Paul's dark eyes across a crowded bar. We would have fallen for each other in a second and then killed each other in the next. I closed my eyes as I pushed thoughts away.

"What were you like before you became the crazy badass that you are today?" Paul sounded worried. I tried to smile as I opened my mouth but the corners of my mouth refused to curve upwards. Everything was just so much effort.

"You know the answer to that," I muttered as I glanced out of the open doorway and out into the fading sunlight. La Push truly was beautiful. I wondered briefly when I had begun to think that. La Push was as magical as the people within it.

"No," he shook his head and reached his hand out as if to touch me, "What made you smile? What made you laugh? Where was you favourite place to eat?"

"I love Chinese food and ketchup flavoured crisps," Paul screwed his nose up at my answers, "People running for buses make me laugh and cheesy movies make me want to throw up. What else made me smile?" I wondered allowed, "Dancing made me smile. Sometimes my body aches to move the way it used to. I feel like I'm stuck in a tiny room with no space to stretch. I miss it."

"Just because you cant dance the way you used to doesn't mean you cant be involved in that world," Paul's serious tone shocked me. We were having a conversation like two proper adults instead of screaming at each other from opposite sides of a crowded room. I wondered if we had grown up suddenly.

"I don't miss the world," I realised it was true as I said it, "The world was cruel and demanding but I do miss the feeling of achievement. Sometimes I think about opening a little dance studio and showing little girls what it feels like to be graceful; what it feels like to make people smile by dancing."

"Why don't you?" I fought the urge to laugh in Paul's face.

"Money for starters," I rolled my eyes at him, "I'd need to get a teaching qualification and a studio. I'd need to learn to be patient and get healthy again."

"That sounds achievable." He sounded so serious, so excited that I could almost picture it all in my head. But it was all just a silly dream, something that he would often think about after Isla killed me.

"What did you want to do?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from myself, "…before you became a wolf?"

"I didn't really have a plan," he frowned suddenly as he glanced at me, "I always figured I would stay in La Push. I love it here; I really do. I guess I would have ended up working in a bar or at the garage or something."

"Didn't you have any hobbies?" I blurted finding it hard to believe that he was completely content in the world that he had grown up in. Everyone I had ever known in Seattle dreamed of bigger things' they wanted nothing more that to break through the barriers that stood in the way of achieving their dreams. Everyone always wanted something more. I knew that I had.

"I guess I like drawing," a red tint appeared underneath Paul's normal russet coloured skin as if he was embarrassed to say the words aloud, "I've always liked drawing. I guess I must take that off of my Mum as she paint a lot."

"What do you like to draw?" I leant forward in my seat. I saw a spark in Paul's eyes that I had never seen before. He seemed alive as a genuine smile lit up his entire face. Never would I have thought that it would take us being contained in a cabin by a crazy ass vampire for us to truly get to know each other. It was so messed up, but I guess that defined our entire relationship.

"People, landscapes," Paul's leg jerked up and down as if he didn't have the ability to stay still, "but places mostly. I loved designing houses. It fascinated me how something could be constructed from a drawing. I guess when I was a little boy I dreamed of being an architect but I don't think there's much need for one of them in La Push." His sudden laugh seemed forced and empty.

"You should take a course," I insisted. My hand itched to slap Paul, to knock some sense in to him. He could be whatever he wanted to be; Poppy had taught me that. Something inside of me ached to help him achieve his dreams. He deserved to be happy. We both deserved to be happy, but especially him. He had given up so much in order to fulfil his duty to the pack.

"I don't have the time or-" he began.

"Shut the fuck up," I laughed, "You can make time, you can ask Sam to give you a break from patrols for a while. You can-"

"If I agree to take a course when we get out of this mess, you have to agree to take a teaching course so you can open up your own little dance studio one day," he interrupted me. Curling my hands into fists I narrowed my eyes at him. We had been talking about him, not me.

"But-"

"Deal?" He shouted cutting me off once again. He was really beginning to get on my nerves. He looked unusually hopeful as he peered at me. The reality of the situation was that we were both banking on us surviving the vampire attack alive. I almost scoffed. I could at least please him while I still could.

"Deal," I muttered sourly without a fight. He grinned in triumph. I wondered when I had begun to give up my fights so easily. Paul was making me soft.

"What do you think-" Paul held up his hand as I began to speak. I was about to snarl at him but then I heard it; a low growl followed by an almost musical laugh.

They were coming.

My heart clenched painfully in my chest as Paul's eyes snapped towards mine.

"Don't do anything stupid," he muttered as we continued to stare at each other.

"I'll try not to," I hissed.

Our moment had been shattered in an instant.

We both tensed as we heard the howl of a wolf in the distance.

It was time.

_Thoughts?_


End file.
